saying 'problem solved' for anything involving finding someone to be with is like saying 'problem solved' to someone who just got depression medication for their suicidal tendencies. there are more points to a snowflake than just one.
also, i'm not asexual, i just have several sex-related phobias.
Hmmm....Okay. Sorry to be so flippant. I'm sure you can find someone. But, if you do have some sexual desires but are scared maybe going to therapy would help. Talking to a professional?
i'd nEver go talk to a therapist, especially about that stuff, and have them tell me things to do. 'twould be wAy embarrassing and i might just get worse as far as not telling anyone anything.
at least there's some sort of hope since several people on here chose the first one, so that shows there's a bigger chance than 0. also, i didn't make this poll just cuz of me but because all that google has shows that ~100% of guys would choose the second option since it thinks all guys want sex. this makes me think of another poll possibility. hmmm...
But bear in mind that a few people here might have picked the first option regardless of what they actually think because they want to seem like a nice fella
But bear in mind that a few people here might have picked the first option regardless of what they actually think because they want to seem like a nice fella
this is no place for inaccuracy, folks! hope no one actually did that... :\
I don't need sex right away in a relationship. I would like to wait till we are both ready. I like sex but I'm not crazy about it just being able to kiss and cuddle a girl and call her mine is important to me.
But bear in mind that a few people here might have picked the first option regardless of what they actually think because they want to seem like a nice fella
People use the chat and may have made friends on here or may be hopeful that they will make friends here in the future. So it isn't truly anonymous. They still interact with people and care what these people may think of them.
Some people have self delusions as well. When thinking about a hypothetical situation they think they would do what they think is the right thing but in the actual situation they think in the here and now and end up doing the other thing. Humans aren't perfect.
I'm strongly leaning towards the first option. I think as long as I had someone to care about, who also cared about me, sex would not be a necessity. However I have zero relationship experience so maybe I'm being too naive.
I guess I can't say with one hundred percent certainty what I would do unless I faced that situation in reality.
People use the chat and may have made friends on here or may be hopeful that they will make friends here in the future. So it isn't truly anonymous. They still interact with people and care what these people may think of them.
Some people have self delusions as well. When thinking about a hypothetical situation they think they would do what they think is the right thing but in the actual situation they think in the here and now and end up doing the other thing. Humans aren't perfect.
The poll has an added layer of anonymity, which is what I'm referring to.
I have to say I'm genuinely surprised so many on here said they'd be willing to go without sex. I don't mean to imply that you don't know yourselves, but I find it hard to believe that when it came down to it you could really stick around indefinitely without it. I know that there are people who are not really into sex for varying reasons, but obviously most people are.
I know I'm not a man but personally speaking I can't imagine NEVER having sex with the person I love. It would be sad, in a way. And how is that even... possible? How would kissing work, just light pecks? If you wanted to make out you'd just stop before it got too heavy or the other person wouldn't even want it to go there in the first place so it wouldn't be very passionate, right? What would be the point? Might as well just be friends :idontknow:
(I didn't take the poll by the way because I'm not a guy, I just wanted to comment)
this is no place for inaccuracy, folks! hope no one actually did that... :\
I honestly chose the first option because the close companionship is more important to me, it's very easy for me to go a full day or more with barely (if any) contact with other people.
I have to say I'm genuinely surprised so many on here said they'd be willing to go without sex. I don't mean to imply that you don't know yourselves, but I find it hard to believe that when it came down to it you could really stick around indefinitely without it. I know that there are people who are not really into sex for varying reasons, but obviously most people are.
I know I'm not a man but personally speaking I can't imagine NEVER having sex with the person I love. It would be sad, in a way. And how is that even... possible? How would kissing work, just light pecks? If you wanted to make out you'd just stop before it got too heavy or the other person wouldn't even want it to go there in the first place so it wouldn't be very passionate, right? What would be the point? Might as well just be friends :idontknow:
(I didn't take the poll by the way because I'm not a guy, I just wanted to comment)
Quite a few guys (like myself) have probably had a very small number of (if any) personal relationships, perhaps they live alone or have been single for a very long time. Some believe that sex is not a good template for a happy relationship, and kissing of course does not equal sex.
For those finding it hard to believe anyone would choose the first option.....I think it's like this [for me at least]: If you were to lose your legs or go blind, for the first year or so you'd probably struggle with the new situation a lot. It'd seem like a massive loss to you. You couldn't ever imagine living without your sight or legs. But there have been studies to show that for most people in these situations, after a year or so, they just get used to it, and their general happiness level and attitude returns to where is was before they lost their sight or legs. So if you go without sex and rid your mind of all things sexual for a year or so, you begin to realise it's not such a big deal. [unless there are some who are already like this, yet still chose the second option? that'd be interesting] But life goes on, and your happiness levels really aren't affected by it at all. That's kinda how I feel about it. I don't think sex is as big a deal as people make it out to be. I think love is enough to make me want to spend my life with someone.
For those finding it hard to believe anyone would choose the first option.....I think it's like this [for me at least]: If you were to lose your legs or go blind, for the first year or so you'd probably struggle with the new situation a lot. It'd seem like a massive loss to you. You couldn't ever imagine living without your sight or legs. But there have been studies to show that for most people in these situations, after a year or so, they just get used to it, and their general happiness level and attitude returns to where is was before they lost their sight or legs.
Also possibly worth mentioning is the fact that many guys on this site are virgins, so we don't know what we'd be missing out on anyway.
To put in terms of worrywort's analogy, it wouldn't be like someone losing their sight. Rather it would be more like someone who was blind from birth.
interesting analogies, both of you.
to comment on megalon's: but if you are blind from birth, that doesn't mean you'd never want to know what seeing is like, and there are ways to increase your sight Two Blind Sisters See for the First Time there's just one example.
Also possibly worth mentioning is the fact that many guys on this site are virgins, so we don't know what we'd be missing out on anyway.
To put in terms of worrywort's analogy, it wouldn't be like someone losing their sight. Rather it would be more like someone who was blind from birth.
True. I like the way you put it below. I feel the same;
I think as long as I had someone to care about, who also cared about me, sex would not be a necessity. However I have zero relationship experience so maybe I'm being too naive.
interesting analogies, both of you.
to comment on megalon's: but if you are blind from birth, that doesn't mean you'd never want to know what seeing is like, and there are ways to increase your sight Two Blind Sisters See for the First Time there's just one example.
Sure, seeing is definitely better than not seeing! But I think it's easier for those who have experienced being blind for an extended period of time to see that it's not a necessity for happiness. They'd be more ready to remain blind if they had to do so for the one they love. It wouldn't seem like such a big loss. If that all makes sense?! :idontknow:
Quite a few guys (like myself) have probably had a very small number of (if any) personal relationships, perhaps they live alone or have been single for a very long time. Some believe that sex is not a good template for a happy relationship, and kissing of course does not equal sex.
Sex is a necessary part of all romantic relationships because that is what romance is based on, is it not?? Otherwise it's just a friendship. If someone has a convincing argument as to how you can call a relationship romantic without sex, I'm all ears. You can hold hands and cuddle but how can that last long term? Maybe I'm complicating it or am just plain wrong, but... I don't know.
And no, kissing is obviously not sex, but that wasn't my point. When you actively kiss someone beyond just on the lips or cheek or whatever, it often leads to sex, or at least that's the tone of the interaction - intimate, sensual. After a while it gets to be inevitable that it will lead to sex, otherwise what would be the point in getting so intimate? I personally think "French" kissing is more intimate/sexual than people admit to. My culture says it's "only a kiss" but for god's sake you're sticking your tongue in another person's mouth! 😛
Feel free to argue with me 😉 just my current view and I'm not married to it.
