Juiceh
Member
I need to know what is going on with me. I have googled OCD several times but haven't found sufficient information on it to really distinguish if what I have is in fact OCD. I guess I'll number off what I do that worries me and it would really help me out if anyone can let me know if any of this is OCD or not.
1. The farthest back I can remember doing strange stuff is fourth grade. I began not allowing myself to step on cracks. I never realized it was strange until a friend noticed and asked me why. I simply said "I have to". I still do this (BTW, I'm 19 now) but not ALL the time, just MOST of the time. Also, over the years, now if I step on a crack and I'm breathing out, I have to step on another crack in the same part of my foot breathing in, and I'll feel okay.
2. The next thing I remember doing is if I accidentally rub my thumb against the side of my pointer finger, I had to do it on the other side with the EXACT amount of pressure. Or breathing out through my mouth and the middle of my lips are open, I then have to breath out with the middle closed and the sides open (yes, it's really weird). Now a days if I touch my thumb against my finger breathing out, I have to touch it going the opposite way and breathing in. This includes anything I touch.
3. About this time I began getting paranoid when alone that people were always watching me. I would be convinced people were outside the window, and would duck down when I looked. I don't have these sensations as much anymore, but I do still get these feelings once in a while.
4. Later, when in a car, I would suddenly feel uneven, and the only way to end the feeling would be to breathe in (or out) while the back of the car ONLY was in line with a side street or driveway, for example. Now this has changed so it includes lightpoles, shadows, and variations in street colors. I can't really explain it, it's weird, but it have to breathe a certain way when passing certain things in order to feel even.
5. In 9th grade I began obsessively adding addresses. Like say an address is 1761, I would subtract 1 from 7, so it's six, and multiply 6 by 1, so 6=6. Basically, both sides had to be even. This one was absolute torture since I hate math. This one has died down a little.
6. In 11th grade the blinking began. When I blink, I'll feel like one side blinked unevenly and so I'll have to blink with the other with enough pressure to make them even again (and this is including breathing a certain way..yet again)
7. Also, there are several more things that have to do with breathing. Like when on the internet, I won't let myself breath unless the pointer is on a solid color. Which can be VERY annoying! Uhm and when wind shield wipers are going, I can only breathe when they're passing a certain point. Basically, a lot of these things.
Well damn that's a lot! I've never actually written down a list, and looking back...WOW. I'm weird hah. Also, I should mention I have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder last year, which I've heard can cause OCD..?
IF ANYONE OUT THERE HAS TO DO THINGS LIKE THESE, PLEASE LET ME KNOW! I DON'T KNOW ANYONE WHO HAS TO DO THESE THINGS AND I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THAT I'M NOT ALONE.
1. The farthest back I can remember doing strange stuff is fourth grade. I began not allowing myself to step on cracks. I never realized it was strange until a friend noticed and asked me why. I simply said "I have to". I still do this (BTW, I'm 19 now) but not ALL the time, just MOST of the time. Also, over the years, now if I step on a crack and I'm breathing out, I have to step on another crack in the same part of my foot breathing in, and I'll feel okay.
2. The next thing I remember doing is if I accidentally rub my thumb against the side of my pointer finger, I had to do it on the other side with the EXACT amount of pressure. Or breathing out through my mouth and the middle of my lips are open, I then have to breath out with the middle closed and the sides open (yes, it's really weird). Now a days if I touch my thumb against my finger breathing out, I have to touch it going the opposite way and breathing in. This includes anything I touch.
3. About this time I began getting paranoid when alone that people were always watching me. I would be convinced people were outside the window, and would duck down when I looked. I don't have these sensations as much anymore, but I do still get these feelings once in a while.
4. Later, when in a car, I would suddenly feel uneven, and the only way to end the feeling would be to breathe in (or out) while the back of the car ONLY was in line with a side street or driveway, for example. Now this has changed so it includes lightpoles, shadows, and variations in street colors. I can't really explain it, it's weird, but it have to breathe a certain way when passing certain things in order to feel even.
5. In 9th grade I began obsessively adding addresses. Like say an address is 1761, I would subtract 1 from 7, so it's six, and multiply 6 by 1, so 6=6. Basically, both sides had to be even. This one was absolute torture since I hate math. This one has died down a little.
6. In 11th grade the blinking began. When I blink, I'll feel like one side blinked unevenly and so I'll have to blink with the other with enough pressure to make them even again (and this is including breathing a certain way..yet again)
7. Also, there are several more things that have to do with breathing. Like when on the internet, I won't let myself breath unless the pointer is on a solid color. Which can be VERY annoying! Uhm and when wind shield wipers are going, I can only breathe when they're passing a certain point. Basically, a lot of these things.
Well damn that's a lot! I've never actually written down a list, and looking back...WOW. I'm weird hah. Also, I should mention I have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder last year, which I've heard can cause OCD..?
IF ANYONE OUT THERE HAS TO DO THINGS LIKE THESE, PLEASE LET ME KNOW! I DON'T KNOW ANYONE WHO HAS TO DO THESE THINGS AND I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THAT I'M NOT ALONE.
I had a bunch of other things to talk about and got distracted. But hopefully I will be getting help soon...
