Please help me

Juiceh

Member
I need to know what is going on with me. I have googled OCD several times but haven't found sufficient information on it to really distinguish if what I have is in fact OCD. I guess I'll number off what I do that worries me and it would really help me out if anyone can let me know if any of this is OCD or not.

1. The farthest back I can remember doing strange stuff is fourth grade. I began not allowing myself to step on cracks. I never realized it was strange until a friend noticed and asked me why. I simply said "I have to". I still do this (BTW, I'm 19 now) but not ALL the time, just MOST of the time. Also, over the years, now if I step on a crack and I'm breathing out, I have to step on another crack in the same part of my foot breathing in, and I'll feel okay.

2. The next thing I remember doing is if I accidentally rub my thumb against the side of my pointer finger, I had to do it on the other side with the EXACT amount of pressure. Or breathing out through my mouth and the middle of my lips are open, I then have to breath out with the middle closed and the sides open (yes, it's really weird). Now a days if I touch my thumb against my finger breathing out, I have to touch it going the opposite way and breathing in. This includes anything I touch.

3. About this time I began getting paranoid when alone that people were always watching me. I would be convinced people were outside the window, and would duck down when I looked. I don't have these sensations as much anymore, but I do still get these feelings once in a while.

4. Later, when in a car, I would suddenly feel uneven, and the only way to end the feeling would be to breathe in (or out) while the back of the car ONLY was in line with a side street or driveway, for example. Now this has changed so it includes lightpoles, shadows, and variations in street colors. I can't really explain it, it's weird, but it have to breathe a certain way when passing certain things in order to feel even.

5. In 9th grade I began obsessively adding addresses. Like say an address is 1761, I would subtract 1 from 7, so it's six, and multiply 6 by 1, so 6=6. Basically, both sides had to be even. This one was absolute torture since I hate math. This one has died down a little.

6. In 11th grade the blinking began. When I blink, I'll feel like one side blinked unevenly and so I'll have to blink with the other with enough pressure to make them even again (and this is including breathing a certain way..yet again)

7. Also, there are several more things that have to do with breathing. Like when on the internet, I won't let myself breath unless the pointer is on a solid color. Which can be VERY annoying! Uhm and when wind shield wipers are going, I can only breathe when they're passing a certain point. Basically, a lot of these things.


Well damn that's a lot! I've never actually written down a list, and looking back...WOW. I'm weird hah. Also, I should mention I have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder last year, which I've heard can cause OCD..?

IF ANYONE OUT THERE HAS TO DO THINGS LIKE THESE, PLEASE LET ME KNOW! I DON'T KNOW ANYONE WHO HAS TO DO THESE THINGS AND I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THAT I'M NOT ALONE.
 

Helyna

Well-known member
That's definitely OCD. You feel like you have to do these things. Also, evenness is a common compulsion. I do this a bit, actually, but not nearly to that extent.
What anxiety disorder were you diagnosed with? OCD actually is an anxiety disorder, and often people have several if they have one.
 

misterF

Well-known member
Well I have OCD and agree with Helyna that definitely looks like OCD. Normally with OCD you're anxious about something and you do these compulsions or rituals to feel better.
For example, when I get into a taxi I get anxious having an accident so I have to cross my fingers for 5 minutes. The act of crossing my fingers makes no sense but it's something I have to do to make the anxiety go away.
 

Juiceh

Member
Thanks for replying so quickly. And I'm not sure what anxiety disorder I was diagnosed with (didn't even realize there were different kinds) but I'm assuming some sort of social anxiety. At the time I pretty much ignored the diagnosis because I didn't want to admit to my parents it may be true, I told them the psychiatrist (or psychologist, no idea of the difference) didn't know what he was talking about haha.

And it's such a relief to know it is in fact OCD, i mean it's just good to know why I do the things I do, and to know I'm not alone.

And I've noticed a lot of it relates with stress. Like this summer I began doing everything less and less, it was such a relief! I thought I was outgrowing it. But then school rolled around and I do everything just as much as I used to, and yet again I get anxious in social settings.

Does anyone know of any treatments for OCD that work? I can't imagine going through the rest of my life doing these things and feeling these ways.
 

misterF

Well-known member
There are various forms of treatment like medication and therapy, each with various degrees of effectiveness. I'm on medication and see a therapist twice a week but that's because I have other problems.
In your case you should see a specialist who can then assess you and give you advice on the treatment that will suit you the best. I really think you should do something about it before you develop more compulsions though.
 

Juiceh

Member
Ok thank you, I'll definitely look into getting some treatment. Yeah I just keep developing more and more compulsions and I really need to figure out how to stop them. Hah sometimes I won't even realize I'm doing these things until my brother will point it out. Like I'll be talking to him and doing the blinking thing and he'll be like "dude, you're doing your eye thing again" and then I'll focus on trying to stop. I just hope people outside of my family don't notice me doing these things, I REALLY try to hide it.
 

cobalt_bluester

Well-known member
i have had something similar to what you experience. I've continually thought about something over and over again and couldn't get that thought out of my head even though I wanted to. I've also become aware of my blinking, and also where I am looking, how I am looking and what my eyes are doing. I guess this is similar to what you suffer from but at the same time different. good luck with tackling your problems, I hope it works out for you eventually.
 

biotech56

Well-known member
I have to say that is definitly OCD. Interesting to because I avoid cracks on purpose as well for some reason. I don't know why but I just have to. Have you seen a psychiatrist about this because I would strongly reccomend it.
 

ItemEleven

Member
Helyna said:
That's definitely OCD. You feel like you have to do these things. Also, evenness is a common compulsion. I do this a bit, actually, but not nearly to that extent.
What anxiety disorder were you diagnosed with? OCD actually is an anxiety disorder, and often people have several if they have one.

Yes that's right. Over half of the people diagnosed with one anxiety disorder are diagnosed with another one.
 

goat

Member
hi, juiceh. i have had similar problems since i was about 8 or 9 and it started with stepping on cracks as well...also blinking, counting, breathing, and many more bizarre rituals and behaviours... I am 36 years old and have had this for almost 30 years...my parents still don't have a clue...they just said I 'seemed distracted' as a child...it hasn't got much easier though at least I now understand them for what they are...biological...I highly recommend Jeffrey Swartz' book "The Mind and the Brain: Neuroplasticity and the Power of Mental Force"...it really helped me understand what is going on with my brain....I'll post more later...glad to part of this community.[/url]
 

Juiceh

Member
I though I would just check in again. I talked to my mom about it after coming to this forum, and she looked into who I can see and apparently our health insurance has amazing coverage for people with OCD. So I'm planning to make an appointment with my doctor soon and finally get some help. I actually met with my doctor last week, but I forgot to mention it :oops: I had a bunch of other things to talk about and got distracted. But hopefully I will be getting help soon...
 

madmike

Well-known member
I remember the crack thing, i had it years ago but it was more of a phase really. A friend also remarked on it, but i just sort of laughed, i didn't feel like it was a compulsion even though i always did it. I suffer from a pretty severe facial tick (gets worse when i'm anxious or alone for long periods), i suppose that's a sort of compulsion... managed to shake it off for a while, but it's back and it's bad. Really wish it would go away :(
 
Top