Physical relationships *mature topic*

LadyWench

Well-known member
I've never experienced sexual abuse (to my knowledge, anyway), and I have major anxiety when it comes to intimacy. I will be 22 years old in February, and I've been in a relationship for about 2.5 years. We do intimate things, but we've never had sex due to my irrational fears and anxieties. He's very understanding of this, so that's wonderful. But I also hate living this way and hate the fact that I don't allow myself to experience such a normal, human thing. I fear pregnancy and obviously I have issues with sex altogether. Just not sure why or where it came from, since as far as I know, I've never been sexually assaulted. I dunno. Maybe I'm destined to be a virgin my entire life, simply because I make everything so difficult and can't seem to overcome ANYTHING. I fear practically everything in life. So awesome.
 

mismeek

Well-known member
I've never experienced sexual abuse (to my knowledge, anyway), and I have major anxiety when it comes to intimacy. I will be 22 years old in February, and I've been in a relationship for about 2.5 years. We do intimate things, but we've never had sex due to my irrational fears and anxieties. He's very understanding of this, so that's wonderful. But I also hate living this way and hate the fact that I don't allow myself to experience such a normal, human thing. I fear pregnancy and obviously I have issues with sex altogether. Just not sure why or where it came from, since as far as I know, I've never been sexually assaulted. I dunno. Maybe I'm destined to be a virgin my entire life, simply because I make everything so difficult and can't seem to overcome ANYTHING. I fear practically everything in life. So awesome.

You're boyfriend is a REALLY patient person!!! (does he have a brother? lol)
I'm terrified when it comes to getting pregnant also especially because I'm horribly afraid of children. What really helped was using two forms of birth control. I was using the ortho evra path which is like 96.8% effective, then I had him wear a condom that had spermicide on it (thats kinda like 3 forms) That eased my anxiety about that A LOT because I'm pretty sure superman's sperm couldn't get through all that!

I might have another idea for you too, but you might want to message if your interested in that one lol ::eek::
 

LadyWench

Well-known member
You're boyfriend is a REALLY patient person!!! (does he have a brother? lol)
I'm terrified when it comes to getting pregnant also especially because I'm horribly afraid of children. What really helped was using two forms of birth control. I was using the ortho evra path which is like 96.8% effective, then I had him wear a condom that had spermicide on it (thats kinda like 3 forms) That eased my anxiety about that A LOT because I'm pretty sure superman's sperm couldn't get through all that!

I might have another idea for you too, but you might want to message if your interested in that one lol ::eek::

Yeah, he's very patient and understanding. I feel very lucky. He does have a brother, but he's a piece of crap. Kind of long to explain, lol. But trust me, he's an awful human being.

Wow, I'm glad to hear that all of these different forms of birth control helped your fears. That's awesome. I would like to get on birth control, but I don't want to go to the doctor to do so. I fear an exam and always assume the wost is going to happen (i.e. them telling me I have cancer, or something equally serious). So, I don't know what the solution is for me. If you'd like to tell me the other idea you had in mind, feel free to PM me and let me know! :D Thanks!
 

Blaze

Well-known member
I was never sexually abused by family members, but I've had multiple instances where I was molested by people I knew. The first time I was far too young to comprehend what was actually happening to me. The more recent events took place when I was highly intoxicated and I'm not sure I quite realized what was taking place(not going to discuss what I was on).

Annnway, I've had several sexual encounters since then, and all of them we're rather disappointing. I'm a very sexual person, but when it comes down to brass tacks, my anxiety kicks in full swing. It's impossible for me to concentrate and end up being a complete failure. After time and time of me failing, I've pretty much given up trying to pursue any type of relationship or friendship for that matter. I've had multiple opportunities over the years and just flat out ignore them.

Beginning to think I am doomed to exist alone. Anyone who shows the slightest bit of interest in me is soon turned off due to my SA. I've never had anyone adamantly pursue me after I "ignore" their moves. Wishing someone would, because I long to be loved again.
 

mismeek

Well-known member
I was never sexually abused by family members, but I've had multiple instances where I was molested by people I knew. The first time I was far too young to comprehend what was actually happening to me. The more recent events took place when I was highly intoxicated and I'm not sure I quite realized what was taking place(not going to discuss what I was on).

Annnway, I've had several sexual encounters since then, and all of them we're rather disappointing. I'm a very sexual person, but when it comes down to brass tacks, my anxiety kicks in full swing. It's impossible for me to concentrate and end up being a complete failure. After time and time of me failing, I've pretty much given up trying to pursue any type of relationship or friendship for that matter. I've had multiple opportunities over the years and just flat out ignore them.

Beginning to think I am doomed to exist alone. Anyone who shows the slightest bit of interest in me is soon turned off due to my SA. I've never had anyone adamantly pursue me after I "ignore" their moves. Wishing someone would, because I long to be loved again.

I know the feeling..

i wonder .. would two people with sa be able to have sex? or would they just fumble around?
 

mismeek

Well-known member
I am living proof that yes, they can. And pretty good too. Sorry for the TMI

Lol really?! i was kinda imagining in my head lots of fumbling with lots of "omg im sorry" "oops" and "are you okay?! im really sorry" peppered in.

maybe i should starting hunting around here... >.> lol jk..maybe
 

wheredoigo

New member
Lol really?! i was kinda imagining in my head lots of fumbling with lots of "omg im sorry" "oops" and "are you okay?! im really sorry" peppered in.

maybe i should starting hunting around here... >.> lol jk..maybe

Lol, it's a leeetle like that the frst time or two, but after the groove comes in, you tend to want to explore...
 

yellowjello

Member
Re: Physical relationships *mature topic* Update

He pretty much said that I was f****ed in the head and wanted no part of it. He went on to further hurt me by saying that I should stick to family members...and that I was obviously a better lay for them (I was hurt by a relative) :/

sorry my response comes a little late
i was shocked when i read this... i cant understand how anybody could say that?? thats so ****ed up
i hope your doing better now
all the best
 
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