Phobia of Eternity

[Insanewoman389]

The first time I started to think about Eternity in a way that scared me was right after my first day at GED classes and I got really sick. The days following I was so ashamed and depressed that I literally did nothing no computer, no games, no talking really, barely any t.v and during that time I just kept thinking of being like this forever and not just in life and how hard it would be just to try and be an adult but having to feel anything and having emotions even after death which for me is just.... the most horrible thing ever that could happen to me. And the other night for whatever stupid reason I started thinking about Eternity once again :: It's one thing to worry about just making it in life but thinking about having to exist for an eternity just makes me scared, anxious, angry, and just... I don't know. Anyways I wanted to post this just to get it out and to see if anyone else felt the same way, so if you do please respond and I was also wondering if I should talk about this with my therapist? Just wondering :]

 

[lurknomore]

Yes, the idea of eternity has always scared me. It's like I just can't wrap my brain around the idea of it- like everything has a beginning and an end, but time? It makes me sick to my stomach and unable to sleep when I try to think about it when I'm going to bed at night. I haven't worried over it in a long time, because I simply haven't allowed my brain to dwell on it, but it really got to me when I was younger. I went to church when I was a kid/teenager, and the idea of heaven even scared me- not that it sounded like a scary place, but the word "eternal" being associated with it. I mean, I don't know if I want to exist forever, but I also don't like the idea of ceasing to exist when I die. Maybe I just want time to stop and freeze where it is now. ::

 

[Insanewoman389]

Yes, the idea of eternity has always scared me. It's like I just can't wrap my brain around the idea of it- like everything has a beginning and an end, but time? It makes me sick to my stomach and unable to sleep when I try to think about it when I'm going to bed at night. I haven't worried over it in a long time, because I simply haven't allowed my brain to dwell on it, but it really got to me when I was younger. I went to church when I was a kid/teenager, and the idea of heaven even scared me- not that it sounded like a scary place, but the word "eternal" being associated with it. I mean, I don't know if I want to exist forever, but I also don't like the idea of ceasing to exist when I die. Maybe I just want time to stop and freeze where it is now. ::

Thanks for responding!! :]

And I know exactly how you feel cause that's how I'm feeling right now especially the whole "Heaven not being a scary place just the word eternal, and the not liking the idea of not existing when I die" I couldn't have said it any better. By the way I'm sorry if I brought this up and made you start thinking about it again ::

 

[Thelema]

Well, if you end up existing forever, that means everyone else would exist too. So, you'd at least have some company and you wouldn't be alone.

 

[MikeyC]

I was thinking maybe you had chronophobia, but I doubt it after researching for 30 seconds.

I don't like to wonder what everything will be like in a million billion years. I have enough troubles to last me the next couple of decades. However, I can understand how thinking in such immeasurable numbers can scare you.

 

[Lea]

That´s what I´ve been thinking too sometimes. It´s the lack of boundaries and definition of everything. And lack of knowledge. We feel secure when we can describe things or when they have structure, boundaries. Otherwise we feel lost. I don´t know who I am and what is the world, why I am here, I am scared of my insignificance, that people don´t care about me and are here only to exploit me, that I am expendable, like any flower or animal, they get killed every day and people eat them. WTF? I am nothing else than a chicken too. So what am I living for? Is my purpose for others to eat me up? If I learn things, where will it go after my death? I guess there is probably something, but I don´t know what it is and what it is like. Well I read books about what is happening after death and people´s experiences, but I don´t know what to think about it neither can imagine that. It´s my conscious knowledge, what I´m saying here are my feelings. And after all what if nothing of what I read is true? To me it seems that most people in this life who firmly believe some teaching, are well adjusted in society and have a net of people around them feel safe and don´t have to think about things like this. They have structure they are comfortable in, therefore don´t have to think about eternity. But I have nothing and I´m in it all the time. I think about suicide almost every day but I´m too afraid to do it because I´m afraid that my consicence doesn´t die and who knows where it will get stuck, and I won´t be able to come back to my body if it´s dead.

Paul Brunton (see my signature) says the most important thing in life is to learn meditation. I think it´s true because it is maybe the only way to get out of all this in a safe way. (I mean if we master it and our soul becomes the ability to merge with God). Still I DON´T KNOW, all I can do is believe it.

At the same time, I am not afraid to die (if it´s not caused by me, so that I can´t be blamed ), I think I am a part of nature and it knows what it is doing. If others can and do, why couldn´t I? And if nature says I am so expendabe and insignificant, there must probably be something about it? I guess it´s easier to leave the less ego we have isn´t it? Our nature is to cling to the status quo, but obviously nature says something else and nature rules, so she must be right.

 

[coyote]

we can't touch anything in the past

we can't smell anything in the future

they don't exist, except in our mind

all that truly exists is this moment

it's what we do right now that matters

if we concern ourselves with the present

all the rest will create itself

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

The fact that we were ever alive means anything is possible. Heaven isn't eternal, just think of the devil who was an angel who was sent to hell, just proves even in religion change can happen. Just do what you can wherever you go and you're not alone

 

[Feathers]

Interesting topic.

Do you think the idea of 'eternity' scares you cause it sounds so... 'unchangeable'?
I am not afraid of eternity, but I have had some troubles with 'committment' or such (it sounded like a prison sentence lol) usually guys are supposed to think like that I guess?

In my opinion 'eternity' can be interesting and creative and changeable too...

I've read some books and articles about death/near- or after-death experiences too... It was interesting.

If it bothers you, maybe you can talk with a therapist or I don't know, maybe a priest or such? Or research what different philosophers/beliefs/religions/books might have to say about the topic?

There are very many different beliefs out there... It comforts me in a way, that we don't really KNOW... it could be a 'next adventure', or a series of 'next adventures', or just 'peace and calm' and 'nothing' - we don't really know...
I liked Lionheart Brothers by Astrid Lindgren though it's a children's book
And a play by a German author says 'Heaven is a library' or something like that - just the idea of that sounds FASCINATING LOL!! (Can you imagine, tons of books and possibly 'virtual reality experiences', to read & explore...? )

If it's just about Life... well, THAT doesn't last an 'Eternity' (though it may feel like that sometimes) usually 120 years old or such is at the 'upper limit' and imagine what grand adventures you could have (or read about! ) till then!

 

[OceanMist]

I would think God would make Heaven a place where our weaknesses on Earth get eliminated so we don't have issues such as boredom and anxiety.

It seems if we join God in Heaven He would know what our problems are and fix those problems. It is Heaven after all, right? Of course, Hell would be a different story.....

 

[Insanewoman389]

Well, if you end up existing forever, that means everyone else would exist too. So, you'd at least have some company and you wouldn't be alone.

Yea true! Or maaaybe... I'm mega special and will be the only one who will exist forever ;D Jk! But hopefully I'd get over my SA cause if not it'll be a lonely existence.

 

[Insanewoman389]

I can recall feeling awful when I first saw this as a possible thing to happen. Very hard to get the mind around

Its hard for me to get my mind around it too but I guess I just see it as not having to feel depressed or anxious, so not existing for me isn't too terrible.

 

[Insanewoman389]

I was thinking maybe you had chronophobia, but I doubt it after researching for 30 seconds.

I don't like to wonder what everything will be like in a million billion years. I have enough troubles to last me the next couple of decades. However, I can understand how thinking in such immeasurable numbers can scare you.

Chronophobia? I love how you researched it even if only for 30 seconds!!

I tend to wonder about it a lot at least I used to but now... not so much lol But thanks for understanding <3 I feel a little better now that I talked to my therapist and went out and did something

 

[Insanewoman389]

That´s what I´ve been thinking too sometimes. It´s the lack of boundaries and definition of everything. And lack of knowledge. We feel secure when we can describe things or when they have structure, boundaries. Otherwise we feel lost. I don´t know who I am and what is the world, why I am here, I am scared of my insignificance, that people don´t care about me and are here only to exploit me, that I am expendable, like any flower or animal, they get killed every day and people eat them. WTF? I am nothing else than a chicken too. So what am I living for? Is my purpose for others to eat me up? If I learn things, where will it go after my death? I guess there is probably something, but I don´t know what it is and what it is like. Well I read books about what is happening after death and people´s experiences, but I don´t know what to think about it neither can imagine that. It´s my conscious knowledge, what I´m saying here are my feelings. And after all what if nothing of what I read is true? To me it seems that most people in this life who firmly believe some teaching, are well adjusted in society and have a net of people around them feel safe and don´t have to think about things like this. They have structure they are comfortable in, therefore don´t have to think about eternity. But I have nothing and I´m in it all the time. I think about suicide almost every day but I´m too afraid to do it because I´m afraid that my consicence doesn´t die and who knows where it will get stuck, and I won´t be able to come back to my body if it´s dead.

Paul Brunton (see my signature) says the most important thing in life is to learn meditation. I think it´s true because it is maybe the only way to get out of all this in a safe way. (I mean if we master it and our soul becomes the ability to merge with God). Still I DON´T KNOW, all I can do is believe it.

At the same time, I am not afraid to die (if it´s not caused by me, so that I can´t be blamed ), I think I am a part of nature and it knows what it is doing. If others can and do, why couldn´t I? And if nature says I am so expendabe and insignificant, there must probably be something about it? I guess it´s easier to leave the less ego we have isn´t it? Our nature is to cling to the status quo, but obviously nature says something else and nature rules, so she must be right.

Yea I think my main problem with the idea of eternity is the fact that right now I'm not comfortable sharing myself with other people, once I can do that I think eternity wouldn't be so bad but still....

 

[Insanewoman389]

we can't touch anything in the past

we can't smell anything in the future

they don't exist, except in our mind

all that truly exists is this moment

it's what we do right now that matters

if we concern ourselves with the present

all the rest will create itself

Mmm I like this!! Very comforting thank-you

 

[Insanewoman389]

The fact that we were ever alive means anything is possible. Heaven isn't eternal, just think of the devil who was an angel who was sent to hell, just proves even in religion change can happen. Just do what you can wherever you go and you're not alone

Thanks for the advice, its very helpful!!

 

[Insanewoman389]

Interesting topic.

Do you think the idea of 'eternity' scares you cause it sounds so... 'unchangeable'?
I am not afraid of eternity, but I have had some troubles with 'committment' or such (it sounded like a prison sentence lol) usually guys are supposed to think like that I guess?

In my opinion 'eternity' can be interesting and creative and changeable too...

I've read some books and articles about death/near- or after-death experiences too... It was interesting.

If it bothers you, maybe you can talk with a therapist or I don't know, maybe a priest or such? Or research what different philosophers/beliefs/religions/books might have to say about the topic?

There are very many different beliefs out there... It comforts me in a way, that we don't really KNOW... it could be a 'next adventure', or a series of 'next adventures', or just 'peace and calm' and 'nothing' - we don't really know...
I liked Lionheart Brothers by Astrid Lindgren though it's a children's book
And a play by a German author says 'Heaven is a library' or something like that - just the idea of that sounds FASCINATING LOL!! (Can you imagine, tons of books and possibly 'virtual reality experiences', to read & explore...? )

If it's just about Life... well, THAT doesn't last an 'Eternity' (though it may feel like that sometimes) usually 120 years old or such is at the 'upper limit' and imagine what grand adventures you could have (or read about! ) till then!

Eh.... more the fact that it'd really just be more living and right now I have a hard time connecting with anyone and my emotions are all over the place lately too so the idea of this for eternity is not an appealing idea although I realize I'm not always gonna be unhappy but still...

lol I love the way you think about it, its very upbeat and happy! And yea I talked to her about it and she was pretty much the same, she said maybe if I start thinking about it being peaceful and happy and not just a whole mass of nothing and depression. I'm glad you found this to an interesting topic by the way.

I'm might look up stuff about after life and people's "experience" with it, it sounds interesting and it might help.

 

[Insanewoman389]

I would think God would make Heaven a place where our weaknesses on Earth get eliminated so we don't have issues such as boredom and anxiety.

It seems if we join God in Heaven He would know what our problems are and fix those problems. It is Heaven after all, right? Of course, Hell would be a different story.....

Mmmm never thought of it like that!! Sounds nice actually lol Thanks for responding

 

[da_illest101]

when you talk about eternity, do you mean like going to heaven or hell when you die?

I'm the opposite I wish I could live for all eternity

 

[Insanewoman389]

when you talk about eternity, do you mean like going to heaven or hell when you die?

I'm the opposite I wish I could live for all eternity

Not even just Heaven or Hell just.... Existing, having thought process just doesn't seem appealing to me *shrugs*

Really? Why?! :]