My mothers friend is annoying I keep telling him to leave me alone I don't want or need a date. One time he physically grabbed my leg and I couldn't fight him off and everyone was laughing and I'm in pain really trying to kick him off, that hurt my feelings, that everyone was laughing and he is touching me inappropriately and I was really trying to stop him. He was laughing too. It made me feel hopeless, weak like no one will ever take me seriously.
No one takes me seriously because I come off so innocent to people. I don't try to, people make judgments because I'm quite and because I don't talk people think I need their help. I'm fine with people helping me but they should know when to back off because I'm an adult. They think I'm so fragile because of my voice, I can't help how I speak. I have a small frame and look 5 years younger than what I am. I think people forget how old I am.
It's not fair that people try to take advantage of me because I'm so small, they don't know what's inside and how I had to fight. I am humble and giving, people know that, but people doing things to me when I tell them to stop or they think I desperately need them so they become forceful with me.
If I appeared to be someone who looked less humble they wouldn't try BS with me, if only people knew what was inside, stop judging what's inside of me. I wish I could appear more mean, talk deeper because people wouldn't try me or think that I'm some helpless little girl when I'm not. I know what I need and want and I don't need someone telling me that.
I don't find it funny when people touch me, it gives me bad flashbacks. I wish more people would do what I asked them to do, but it seems no one can take me seriously no matter how serious I be. Even children thing that I'm a child and they try to play with me because I'm not very intimidating. I think it's a good and a bad thing because like with my nieces, I have to do more than my mother to get them to do something.
I feel so weak and hopeless. I feel like I'm back in bad moments again. I have PTSD, I hate feeling this way. I'm writing 99.9% of this just to get it off of my chest. Yesterday I was really triggered, so I woke up this morning started crying off and on feeling the emotions that I feel when in a traumatic situation.
I tried PTSD therapy, but it was too much for the therapist because so many things played a role, so she sent me to another type of therapy thinking it would help my PTSD ( I forgot the name of it). My insurance got cut off, now I'm back in CBT.
I'll be okay in the end, I'm just upset and need to find some sane people. I need to cry my insides out, work out, sign up for some boxing classes, swim to across the world, but I can't so I'm going to rant. Ranting makes me want to puke sometimes, but it feels much better than holding it all in. :sad:
Edit: People *are* not taking me seriously.
No one takes me seriously because I come off so innocent to people. I don't try to, people make judgments because I'm quite and because I don't talk people think I need their help. I'm fine with people helping me but they should know when to back off because I'm an adult. They think I'm so fragile because of my voice, I can't help how I speak. I have a small frame and look 5 years younger than what I am. I think people forget how old I am.
It's not fair that people try to take advantage of me because I'm so small, they don't know what's inside and how I had to fight. I am humble and giving, people know that, but people doing things to me when I tell them to stop or they think I desperately need them so they become forceful with me.
If I appeared to be someone who looked less humble they wouldn't try BS with me, if only people knew what was inside, stop judging what's inside of me. I wish I could appear more mean, talk deeper because people wouldn't try me or think that I'm some helpless little girl when I'm not. I know what I need and want and I don't need someone telling me that.
I don't find it funny when people touch me, it gives me bad flashbacks. I wish more people would do what I asked them to do, but it seems no one can take me seriously no matter how serious I be. Even children thing that I'm a child and they try to play with me because I'm not very intimidating. I think it's a good and a bad thing because like with my nieces, I have to do more than my mother to get them to do something.
I feel so weak and hopeless. I feel like I'm back in bad moments again. I have PTSD, I hate feeling this way. I'm writing 99.9% of this just to get it off of my chest. Yesterday I was really triggered, so I woke up this morning started crying off and on feeling the emotions that I feel when in a traumatic situation.
I tried PTSD therapy, but it was too much for the therapist because so many things played a role, so she sent me to another type of therapy thinking it would help my PTSD ( I forgot the name of it). My insurance got cut off, now I'm back in CBT.
I'll be okay in the end, I'm just upset and need to find some sane people. I need to cry my insides out, work out, sign up for some boxing classes, swim to across the world, but I can't so I'm going to rant. Ranting makes me want to puke sometimes, but it feels much better than holding it all in. :sad:
Edit: People *are* not taking me seriously.
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