People not taking me seriously

[Nathália]

My mothers friend is annoying I keep telling him to leave me alone I don't want or need a date. One time he physically grabbed my leg and I couldn't fight him off and everyone was laughing and I'm in pain really trying to kick him off, that hurt my feelings, that everyone was laughing and he is touching me inappropriately and I was really trying to stop him. He was laughing too. It made me feel hopeless, weak like no one will ever take me seriously.

No one takes me seriously because I come off so innocent to people. I don't try to, people make judgments because I'm quite and because I don't talk people think I need their help. I'm fine with people helping me but they should know when to back off because I'm an adult. They think I'm so fragile because of my voice, I can't help how I speak. I have a small frame and look 5 years younger than what I am. I think people forget how old I am.

It's not fair that people try to take advantage of me because I'm so small, they don't know what's inside and how I had to fight. I am humble and giving, people know that, but people doing things to me when I tell them to stop or they think I desperately need them so they become forceful with me.

If I appeared to be someone who looked less humble they wouldn't try BS with me, if only people knew what was inside, stop judging what's inside of me. I wish I could appear more mean, talk deeper because people wouldn't try me or think that I'm some helpless little girl when I'm not. I know what I need and want and I don't need someone telling me that.

I don't find it funny when people touch me, it gives me bad flashbacks. I wish more people would do what I asked them to do, but it seems no one can take me seriously no matter how serious I be. Even children thing that I'm a child and they try to play with me because I'm not very intimidating. I think it's a good and a bad thing because like with my nieces, I have to do more than my mother to get them to do something.

I feel so weak and hopeless. I feel like I'm back in bad moments again. I have PTSD, I hate feeling this way. I'm writing 99.9% of this just to get it off of my chest. Yesterday I was really triggered, so I woke up this morning started crying off and on feeling the emotions that I feel when in a traumatic situation.

I tried PTSD therapy, but it was too much for the therapist because so many things played a role, so she sent me to another type of therapy thinking it would help my PTSD ( I forgot the name of it). My insurance got cut off, now I'm back in CBT.

I'll be okay in the end, I'm just upset and need to find some sane people. I need to cry my insides out, work out, sign up for some boxing classes, swim to across the world, but I can't so I'm going to rant. Ranting makes me want to puke sometimes, but it feels much better than holding it all in. :sad:


Edit: People *are* not taking me seriously.

 

[jaim38]

I can relate. I wish I can appear stronger and more atheletic so that people will stop picking on me. My voice used to be higher pitched but it gives people a weak impression of me so I try to change my voice to lower pitch, but it's risky because I sound like a guy if I go too low-pitched.

Don't worry, I rant too and it makes me feel a lot better afterwards.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Hi Nathalia!

That guy who's grabbing you inappropriately, needs a good a$$ kicking! Sorry you have to go through such abuse. You're an intelligent and strong woman, don't let these jerks pull you down!

A couple songs came to mind after reading your post. When I'm feeling beat down, I love to play angry music. Maybe punch a few inanimate objects and lift weights. Might not be your cup of tea, but these two are my favorite angry songs.
Papa Roach - Last Resort (Squeaky-clean Version) - YouTube

Trapt - Stand Up [Official Video] - YouTube

 

[kelskellian]

Keep ur head and tell urself all day,every day that u are strong,a fighter and a conquerer

 

[SmartyPants]

Hi Nathalia,

Sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like you are screaming and noone close can here you. These people, your mums friend especially is breaking your boundaries. It makes me so angry when I am telling someone something and they choose not to hear it especially if I tell them again and again - if that is someone not in my family it is easier to have nothing further to do with them.

I hope things get better for you

 

[mikebird]

I get the head-in-hands attitude from people within minutes of interview
Just the way they'll look at each other when I speak formally. They mumble at each other

The meek & weak-minded are not capable of understanding me

We're on a different level

I use hand gestures, strong voice. Pin-sharp resilient eye contact.
They are not ready for the real world. They expect an old granny. 'Hello, my dear'

Maybe it's an age difference?
I believe as you mature, you gain experience of all sorts of types. Maybe people want young people they can easily influence and guide, for their own benefit. I lost my career very early. Perhaps I'm the rebellious type who doesn't bow to elders / little. I make my own decisions. I'm no minion

 

[OceanMist]

No offense, but at least the opposite sex views you as a sex object. Most women just see me as the non-alpha male that doesn't talk.

 

[LuckMode]

No offense, but at least the opposite sex views you as a sex object. Most women just see me as the non-alpha male that doesn't talk.

Literally any woman would prefer to be undesirable than a "sex object" inappropriately touched when told to stop :/

It takes a lot to make me mad so people don't always take me seriously either "She's so nice, I'm sure she won't mind this!". Unfortunately when people make pre-judgements like that it's hard to change them; I'd try being more assertive and direct about what's okay and what's not

 

[Nathália]

Hi Nathalia!

Thank you I'm not my illness, you make me feel better and I also thank the rest of you.

 

[JohnDee]

Seems like you need to vent, as an individual you have every right to be heard and understood, I am sorry to hear however this isn't the case.

Maybe, you should try getting a little bit more physical (i.e. Slap) or smash something up when it happens (worked for me during high school - people still talk about it now)
Don't think of being shy or quiet as a weakness but as an advantage that will make others understimate you, that way when you do something it'll be shocking and have a greater impact. (That's why they say beware of the quiet ones)

You are a powerful individual, a winner and the result of millions of years of evolutionary success. Remember, you've only lost when you tell yourself you have.

 

[Lamb]

Maybe, you should try getting a little bit more physical (i.e. Slap) or smash something up when it happens (worked for me during high school - people still talk about it now)
Don't think of being shy or quiet as a weakness but as an advantage that will make others understimate you, that way when you do something it'll be shocking and have a greater impact. (That's why they say beware of the quiet ones)

This. I come across as "vulnerable" and fragile based on my physical appearance and kindness, so people try to take advantage of me for it all the time. Could you try and find a physical outlet for it? I use to box but can no longer afford it. Perhaps jogging, weight lifting, basic exercises at home. There are also some women's self defense techniques you can look up. I'm so sorry you had to endure that man grabbing you. If he ever does it again, a nose or eye strike should teach him a lesson. I bet everyone would've stopped laughing too, the great thing about being underestimated is being able to surprise others.

Feel better

 

[mikebird]

Nathália

You are writing the bible here

My family are a very different outside world to me (disparate) from all other strangers. Family are mostly nieces of my two elder brothers who hold pure social power over me, who are 6 years younger & younger than her (2, 3, 13 and 23 year gaps) 23 is my youngest niece who looked away, refusing to look in my eyes when in intensive care unit. Brothers have 30 year gaps

I've neve been prone to physical contact dilemma at all. Any such minor threat is by word of mouth and psych-like... judgement. I have a very pseudo-bipolar reaction to any surprise, with multiple actions. 50% I am quiet, distant and friendly toward any approach. Possibly eye star accompanied by wink and slight smile. The other 50% is entirely fist or arm wrench or kick