people laughing/mocking etc?

[Dave1989]

obviously thinking people are laughing and mocking you are common symptoms of social phobia, but has anyone had experiences where you know people were 100% laughing at you etc? i can think of a couple of incidents this month and obviously this makes changing negative thought patterns a lot harder. also do you think none sp sufferers have similar incidents but unlike us can just brush them off and not give them a second thought?

 

[deleted user 1]

In my opinion, everbody reacts badly to this. I remember when I wasn't a SP sufferer, after a brief period, I just forgot about whatever was said and/or done to me. Whereas now it lingers, there are some things I've never been able to forget years after they've happened. And when people do laugh at or insult me in public, I totally shutdown and often go into a deep and prolonged slump. I used to get very frustrated with how easily non SP sufferers dealt with my counterattacks when I was younger, like trying to stab rhino hide with a blunt stick, lol.

 

[UnOccupied]

I feel like if somebody hates you, or makes fun of you without a justifiable reason, there must be something wrong with them. Thats the way i look at these things now, and it seems to help me out... a lot.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I know people who aren't social phobics and can't brush off being laughed at as easily as we might expect. Derision doesn't sit well with anyone as far as I'm aware.
Try to keep in mind that some people will laugh at the most inane things. The last time I remember being laughed at, I was being laughed at by two young teenage girls.I don't know what they thought was so funny, but I did consider the source. Adults who openly and unabashedly laugh at others are rude and ignorant in my mind. I don't want to waste my time or give them enough credit to consider what they think about me. Refer to UnOccupied's post.

 

[Confuseddd]

I feel like if somebody hates you, or makes fun of you without a justifiable reason, there must be something wrong with them. Thats the way i look at these things now, and it seems to help me out... a lot.

im feeling rather "weak" today... i will try this at work when i go in

 

[Danfalc]

I remember one time I was walking down this road,it was a really busy road and I was having a panic attack.Now I always feel self conscious about how I walk,but it's like my whole body use to go stiff during panic attacks.

There were two girls across the road who pointed and laughed,and start imitating my walk.I gave them my middle finger and just carried on.I tried not to take it to heart as I cant blame teenage girls for laughing at something they didn't understand and well I was probably walking quite stupid ::,but it does hurt when you are laughed at.

What's more incidents like this can make you question what you learn in c.b.t...or therapy,ex like when your told it's just our anxiety making us believe people are laughing at us but in reality they are not.I think when things like that happen though you have to remember it's an isolated incident normally and like other people have said,says more about the maturity of the people laughing.

 

[Dave1989]

Cheers for the imput everyone . I dunno I think everyone at some point gets laughed at more than once in their lives, but I'm not sure wether because of social phobia I interperet so many things as negative so in my head i think it happens a lot more to me than others, and that because I blow non threatening situations way out of proportion it makes it seem that much more common, so on the rare occasion when it does actually happen it backs up my irrational beliefs.

 

[AGR]

its people who have nothing to do but being a clown or they are afraid they will get laughed at and put someone else on the spot,if something funny happens,unless the person is you friend you should try to hide at least for a bit of respect,I used to get really angry,not I can take better,but at some point I still get angry,but what can you do?
its just not worth it.

 

[arsenalwa]

Kinda weird to find this thread today since today I had such an experience for the first time in a long time. But surprisingly enough it didn't affect me as much as it would have had a while back. Think I don't give too much of a damn about people as much as I used to.

So anyway, I was on my way back from college on the subway. And I was like standing until someone left their seat and I was pretty exhausted and the trip takes an hour so thought I'd sit down. It was between an old woman and a girl and just before I sat down I almost lost my balance - just a little bit really - then sat down. There was these 2 guys, apparently college students too, sitting on that other side of the seats and they like started laughing from that point on for like half an hour. And I just knew they were laughing at me. But the thing is, they seemed to like indirectly look at me and find something new about me to laugh about every few minutes and burst in laughter again. And the bad part about such a situation is there is nothing you can do really. Just 2 guys laughing their head off and I can't really say what they're whispering to each other you know. I tried my best to ignore them with the occasional look at them now and then like everybody sitting around did. But the bad part was when a girl came and sat next to them and after a while I looked at her and found her like indirectly looking my way too, listening to what they were saying, and like about to burst in laughter herself which removed any doubt I had as to weather they were laughing at me or about something else. After a while I thought of getting out at any station and taking the next one but then I thought I'd feel a bit better if I didn't pay them much attention and just sat there to my destination which I did and was pretty relaxed during the whole thing, or at least I looked as if I was. The thing is I can't really understand what else they could have been laughing at all that time apart from the losing balance thing but, I mean, half an hour laughing at that? I thought nobody else even noticed. Anyway it was a pretty bad experience I have to say but I think I handled it the best I could.

 

[lunaticbinge]

Kinda weird to find this thread today since today I had such an experience for the first time in a long time. But surprisingly enough it didn't affect me as much as it would have had a while back. Think I don't give too much of a damn about people as much as I used to.

All that stuff you said.

I have to say, unless they are incredibly simple minded (which is a possibility), they probably weren't laughing at you. Could you actually hear anything they were saying? Might just be the paranoia we're all so familiar with.

 

[arsenalwa]

I have to say, unless they are incredibly simple minded (which is a possibility), they probably weren't laughing at you. Could you actually hear anything they were saying? Might just be the paranoia we're all so familiar with.

You'd be surprised to know how many simple minded people are where I am. And they generally looked like ***holes anyway to be honest. And I'm 100% sure cause everytime our eyes met they burst in laughter even more. And the whole girl thing made me totally sure. It was very obvious that the whole thing was about me. Other people probably didn't notice it was about me cause they didn't care (though they kept looking at them what with them laughing like maniacs for half an hour), but I did pay attention and it was just obvious.

 

[coyote]

Something I try to do is to not take myself too seriously.

If I do something awkward or stupid like trip over a gum wrapper, I try to be the first one to laugh at myself, or at least give the eyes I meet a knowing, sheepish grin - "yeah, that was sure dorky of me wasn't it?"

That way, they're laughing with me - not at me.

 

[Kiwong]

Yes, I've had people mimic my anxiety, the big eyes I get when I walk into a shop/sevice station.

I don't handle it very well. Hence the words in my signature.

 

[UnOccupied]

im feeling rather "weak" today... i will try this at work when i go in

I hope it helps you out a little.

Ever since realizing that my anxiety is ENTIRELY based off my irrational thinking, i found out that it only takes me one or two positive, rational thoughts to feel better, and ease the anxiety, and sometimes even make it ALL go away. This little statement i tell myself is one of the many many rational statement i have to fall back on if i can't rationalize a situation myself.

As i get further into CBT, they tend to pop up in my head more and more automatically. It really is a good feeling to feel in control of my anxiety, and not controlled by it.

 

[Dave1989]

I hope it helps you out a little.

Ever since realizing that my anxiety is ENTIRELY based off my irrational thinking, i found out that it only takes me one or two positive, rational thoughts to feel better, and ease the anxiety, and sometimes even make it ALL go away. This little statement i tell myself is one of the many many rational statement i have to fall back on if i can't rationalize a situation myself.

As i get further into CBT, they tend to pop up in my head more and more automatically. It really is a good feeling to feel in control of my anxiety, and not controlled by it.

It's great to hear that cbt is working for you .

Something I have been trying to do is to weigh up things I know for a fact against things that i perceive, for example I have a great girlfriend, good friends and a steady job which I am good at, those are facts. Assuming that people are laughing at me, noticing somebody looking at me and automatically thinking that they think I am a freak etc, those all perceptions I have. Even the incidents mentioned earlier where I was absolutely positive people were laughing at me,I have no idea why they were laughing so I am trying not to dwell on it too much .

 

[UnOccupied]

It's great to hear that cbt is working for you .

Something I have been trying to do is to weigh up things I know for a fact against things that i perceive, for example I have a great girlfriend, good friends and a steady job which I am good at, those are facts. Assuming that people are laughing at me, noticing somebody looking at me and automatically thinking that they think I am a freak etc, those all perceptions I have. Even the incidents mentioned earlier where I was absolutely positive people were laughing at me,I have no idea why they were laughing so I am trying not to dwell on it too much .

I am so happy you have those good things in life, and that is a great way to look at it. Focus on the good things you have, not the bad things you want to get rid of.

My advice would be that when you have those feelings that people are making fun of you, regardless if you are sure of it, or if it is just made up in your mind, say this, calmly to yourself:

"Where is the evidence that anyone is really thinking or saying bad things about me? Where is the proof that this is true?"

And,

"If people are making fun of me, or talking about me badly, without a justifiable reason, there must be something wrong with THEM, not me. Do they really have nothing better to do with their lives than sit around and talk about and judge other people?"

I personally like questioning my negative thoughts, it really helps me. But, we are all individual, so my advice would be to take those, and phrase them however you want to. Then, read them every single day, and in a week, i bet they will start popping into your head without even thinking about it, when you come into those bad situations.

Good luck!

 

[Dave1989]

I am so happy you have those good things in life, and that is a great way to look at it. Focus on the good things you have, not the bad things you want to get rid of.

My advice would be that when you have those feelings that people are making fun of you, regardless if you are sure of it, or if it is just made up in your mind, say this, calmly to yourself:

"Where is the evidence that anyone is really thinking or saying bad things about me? Where is the proof that this is true?"

And,

"If people are making fun of me, or talking about me badly, without a justifiable reason, there must be something wrong with THEM, not me. Do they really have nothing better to do with their lives than sit around and talk about and judge other people?"

I personally like questioning my negative thoughts, it really helps me. But, we are all individual, so my advice would be to take those, and phrase them however you want to. Then, read them every single day, and in a week, i bet they will start popping into your head without even thinking about it, when you come into those bad situations.

Good luck!

Thanks for the advice, that's the beauty of this site getting other peoples experiences and advice and being able to apply it to situations that we all face on a daily basis, it really does help

 

[dandylionrock]

I actually went through this today. It was terrible I'm glad I saw this thread cause I didn't tell anyone what happened and I think I'd feel better if I did.

Oh, and hi, people, I've only been here like twice I think.

But what happened was--well, I'm sure most people here can relate, because of my SA, I've always hated eating in public. Only recently have I become comfortable enough to actually do it. But I still keep myself from eating as much as I want, but I was at least making progress.
So, it was like 3 in the afternoon and I hadn't eaten anything at all today until then, and I went to get Chinese takeout. I had it with me waiting in the back of the car while my two friends that I was with went inside Walmart. I was very hungry, so I starting munching on my food. Even though I was in the back of a car and I was pretty sure no one was looking at me, I was still self-concious about it. I just told myself what everyone's been telling me my whole life: no one cares and I'm thinking about it much more than other people are. Well, apparently that's now a lie.

The windows in the car were cracked because it's really hot outside and their car doesn't have AC. Two girls walked by and one yelled, "It smells like stank ass hot wings!" The other one said "That girl back there's eating hot wings!" And they just started laughing at it...It wasn't even hot wings...Then, they walked to the car that was parked right in front of the one I was in and their dumb friends were in there. The ones who'd just walked by felt the need to tell their friends, "That girl over there's eating hot wings!" And they all started cracking up. Oh, and then she said, "Her honkie ass is eating hot wings." Yeah she called me a honkie about 5 times. I've never been called a honkie by someone who wasn't white. And know what, it ain't ok. Anyway, that's slightly off topic.

So, I pretty much lost my appetite and I was just kinda sitting there. Then they walked behind the car I was in and I guess they were standing there staring at me or something, idk I didn't turn around, cause I heard them say, "What is she staring at?" Then I was about to call my friend and I guess those dumbasses walked away cause right when I got my phone in my hand my friend came up to the car and she didn't say anything about them so I don't think she noticed...

But it just really sucks, because this thing I've been working on and was making such good progress, is now all lost. How can I ever believe everyone's not judging me now, when obviously I'm not the only one judging myself like everyone says I am?

 

[PunkRotten]

Yeah this is typical of scapegoating.