People comment on your quietness

[ForeverBlue2]

I know people have probably mentioned this before but I just have to vent badly
I have just come home from work and was slightly humiliated. I just can't believe the rudeness of people. Do I go around making comments to people like, Why are you so loud and abnoxious?
I was sitting minding my own business in a relatively new position. I am with the same company but in a different area and there is a lot to learn so I was busy reading all our guidelines. One of the staff joked about me keeping one of our customers company and he said I don't say much. Then the staff member said something about me being their quiet achiever which I didn't mind too much. But then the boss had to add that it takes a lot to get a conversation out of me!!!! I was calm at the time and was just thinking I am over this crap but wasn't letting it bother me. But after leaving the more I thought about it the more I got annoyed. It was embarrassing because there were two customers there and everyone was in on the conversation (except me ). I just laughed it off and went back to what I was doing. When will this type of shit end? Just leave me alone. How often does this happen to people?

 

[Satine]

Well, I guess it'll happen from time to time. They don't mean anything by it.

 

[SalemEdgerton1]

I doubt they were trying to be malicious with it. Some people use "jokes" like that to get shy people into the conversation and more comfortable. I'd talk to your boss and tell him that the teasing makes you uncomfortable (you could leave him a note if you feel uncomfortable with approaching him about it in person). It's not like you were just sitting there off into space either. You could tell him that the teasing really hurts your ability to work and I"m sure he'd back off. It happens to me a lot. People (for reasons I may never understand) assume that I'm an asshole because I don't talk much, but most of the people at work don't say much when we're working anyways so I'm not really tease much there as I am at school.

 

[DavidJonas]

I'm very easily provoked by people's comments, because I tend to interpret things said about me about in a negative way. I guess the best thing to do in this situation is let them know you're being annoyed by it, and if they won't apologize or stop doing it they're just inconsiderate.
There must have been hundreds of these situations in my life, and sometimes when you let them know you're angry with them it just turns them on and makes them laugh harder. It's a bullyish attitude. It's really horrible if everyone's in on it or not saying anything to protest and you're the only one to stand up for yourself, but you must at least do that. It's better to argue than to keep calm in a situation where you're being ridiculed.
I wonder if people with good self-esteem really see these things as innocent jokes, that they don't take it personal. Maybe if they don't see there quietness as a problem they can appreciate the joke, but if you do see it as a problem and you want to defend it, you should be able to, without being ridiculed further.

 

[Satine]

Well, I tend to be quiet and most people just leave me to it, but occasionally someone assumes that I'm timid and that they can take liberties. I've been bullied on several occasions, but have developed a system now that, when someone starts on me, I go a bit quiet. Usually the bullying type will try to get away with more, and then I let the boss know about them. But hey, if they want to string themselves up, why stop them?

 

[Havocan]

I've been told so by two individuals lately, it's really frustrating. If you don't have anything to say, then why bother opening your mouth at all?

 

[recluse]

People will always comment on how quiet people are..I get the impression that people judge that quiet people have something to hide and that we are creepy o'r something. It reminds me of two of many occasions when i felt humuliated by comments about my quietness.

When i was in school i was invited by my friend for dinner after school. At that time they were living temporarily in a trailer while their house was being renovated. The trailer being so small i could obviously hear everything and while i was using the bathroom i heard his sister commenting ''He's quiet isn't he!'' i felt humuliated and i had to pretend for the rest of the evening that i hadn't heard anything.

When i was in college i was teased a lot, and one day i asked a girl in a half joke kind of way ''Why do i always get picked on!?''...And she answered ''Because your quiet aren't you!''.......What? So she was implying that because i'm quiet it justified the right to tease me!? If i was black and she would have said ''Because your black!'' then that would be being racist wouldn't it, so how can picking on someone for being quiet be ok?

 

[enmascarado]

[[Delete]]

 

[SalemEdgerton1]

I think people have a tendency to be critical of others on little things like shyness when they themselves feel really uncomfortable and/or insecure about the situation. The people that are worth your time are the ones who couldn't give a damn as long as you're a good friend.

 

[Argamemnon]

Besides being told I'm quiet, I'm also told that my voice is too low. Not always, but especially on days when I'm stressed or feel down. Just yesterday I was at the temp agency looking for a job. The girl who was helping me suddenly said that she could hardly understand me, and that my voice was far too low. Then she asked me if I was aware of it or not.

She also told me that I had to speak louder at job interviews. I didn't like what she said, especially if I was aware of it or not. Of course I'm not aware of it when I'm anxous and depressed and my mind is blank. But I can't blame her, how could she know. For her and lucky people like her it's apparently natural to be able to talk and remain calm in every social situation. They have no idea how it is for other people.

 

[Satine]

Ah, yes. See, I worked with someone for a while who talked so quietly I could scarcely make out a word she said. It wasn't her fault and she was a lovely girl, but it ended up being a real effort to talk to her because I couldn't hear her reply.

I wouldn't want to be told I speak too quietly, but I think I can see the issue from the other side as well. I guess it might be a problem regarding communication in the workplace.

 

[Psychedelicious]

Dry Wall

People comment to me on this all the time. I don't care though. I don't know why people think it's insulting, it's like the only attention and social contact I ever get so I have to find some way to appreciate at it. It's usually not meant to be insulting, they are probably just wondering. I think a lot of people care too much... I kind of like the attention I guess.

 

[xtina_fan81]

I feel your pain. Ive promised myself if i ever get around to writing a book about my experiences and an eyeopener about social anxiety, I will call it "Why are you so loud?"

 

[lurknomore]

I've had plenty of people comment about how quiet I am- when I do talk, people usually say things like "Wow, she can actually talk." I usually just laugh and shrug these comments off, but I do wish that I were more comfortable talking to people- especially in groups. One on one I'm usually okay, but more than 2 or 3 other people and I clam up.

 

[Argamemnon]

I was on holiday once in a cafe by the beach and within seconds of being at the counter the women (never seen her before) looked at me and went "Awww, you're shy!". I don't think i'd have known what to say even if I wasn't shy.

As if it's a crime to be shy. I wonder why it doesn't occur to them that people are different. Why is it so important for them if another person is shy or quiet. I really don't understand, can't they mind their own business?!

 

[Satine]

A regular customer at a bar I used to work at called me timid once. I was absolutely livid... even though it was mostly true at the time. I didn't want to be shy even at the time, but it annoyed me to hell!

 

[PrettyBoy]

"stop shouting"
"You're as quiet as a mouse"
"You?? Arguing?? Ha!"
"You're about as enthusiastic as a door frame"

Just a few I've had in the past lol. All of which I found offensive and planned there deaths secretly in my mind

 

[Nocer]

im quiet because just talking to someone else about trivialities is a waste of time, of course they mean well but when they try to include me in a conversation with that kind of approach i already feel outcasted and therefore dubbed irrelevent anyway, dealing with people is quite a confusing concept for me since im so used to being alone and live up in my mind.

 

[blue-roses]

Happens all the time. I know people are just trying to make me feel more comfortable, so in that respect I don't mind it, but the problem is trying to come up with something (polite!) to say back to them! "Uh...yeah...I guess I am...yeah..."

The worst thing is people being surprised to hear that I'm eighteen because I act about twelve and literally hide behind my mum most of the time when I go out.

 

[Harleyq]

I don't get why some people think "Why are you so quiet?" is a way to comfort us and get us to open up. WTF? It doesn't make sense and it's like we're a completely different species.

My friend did this to a quiet girl one time and I kind of snapped at him for it and he goes "What? I was just trying to get her to open up and talk?"...yeah, how is that going to make people want to talk to you?

I think the worst I received was when someone obnoxiously went "Are you a mute or something!?" and then proceeded to talk about me in 3rd person as if I wasn't in the room - "She hasn't said one word all freakin night...."