parent relationship

[mrb]

how do you get on with your parents ... are you closer to your mother or father ... do you even get on with them , do they know about your problems , or do you just keep it to yourself ?

 

[Brokenx]

My Father is dead, i miss him.
I don't get on with my mother at all, she has other kids and i feel like she has gave up hope on me ever doing something to make her proud now she has focoused all her time on the others.
- My stepfather and i hate eachother, i feel i cannot even speak in the room if he is there, he always likes to make personal attaks.
Also, whenever there is drama going on, my mother always likes to point the finger at me and state it's all my fault, i've caused it when i obviously havn't lol.

/rant over..

 

[Krista]

I haven't lived with my mother since I was seven, my father since I was four. My grandma adopted me out of foster care and raised me since She's a great lady and I tell her everything, although I stay with my Aunt right now for school and job purposes I've told her my SA problems. She tries to understand as best as she can but I know she doesn't fully grasp the situation. She seems to think it's not as bad as I make it out to be, that I'm just not trying hard enough with myself. It's sad but I have other people I can talk to about this stuff(like you all) so I try not to see it as a big deal. Hopefully she'll understand eventually.

 

[philly2bits]

I get along fairly well. Luckily both my parents had problems of there own when they were my age so they have a degree of understanding even though there problems were not quite the same as mine.

 

[KiaraBlue]

how do you get on with your parents ... are you closer to your mother or father ... do you even get on with them , do they know about your problems , or do you just keep it to yourself ?

I get along with them more than good. Of course we have different phases..when we hug each other..we swear each other but that's all love.
Ok..my SA sometimes is the problem and they don't understand even though I talked to them few times about that trying them to explain how I excatly feel.
Maybe they are scared to admit that their "little girl" is having that problem..I don't know. But I'm sure that they would help me if some serious problem ocured. For example..my dad is driving me everywhere when I can't go out by myself..they are going to the store for me..hmm..altough I'm not really sure that they are helping me with that.
Anyway, I'm very happy to have parents like that even though they make me crazy almost every day with some stupid things and reactions.. And maybe I'm a little bit too bound with them..so every now and then I have fears of losing them..
One more thing..I think that they have contribute to developing my SA in some way because they were always keeping me "under a glass bell"..and that had impact on my self esteem a lot..

 

[AimeeSP]

My relationship with them both is confusing. I live with my mum, but we don't get along most the time. She gets angry at me if i can't socialize much, or can't find the strength to come out of bed sometimes when i'm having a really bad day with depression. Despite that though she does collect my medication for me and take me to appointments and to see friends.

My dad ... well my dad has abit of social anxiety too we think. He also has mild depression. I get along better with my Dad (maybe because i don't live with him lol!) but it wasn't always that way. My Dad used to be an alcoholic and beat me regulary. We don't ever talk about it, but it still hurts me emotionally. He still has a drink but not everyday anymore and is alot more of a fun loving drunk instead of an angry drunk these days. But me and my dad have a connection with our anxiety issues and depression, i feel he understands me more than my mum.

 

[Hellhound]

My parents and the rest of my family are scum. I'd rather talk about my problems with a stranger. I must admit that my mother has changed a little, for the better... I still wouldn't trust her though.

 

[leafy]

My parents are just not the good listening type. And at some point I probably just stopped talking about things. We get along well, it's just not too personal. I always feel like they see me as weird, especially my dad. They have problems of they're own every once in a while, so they have enough with each other, I feel like i'm the third wheel.. to my parents :/ Maybe because all my siblings have moved out and have kids (all 5 of them) and I'm over 20. I doubt myself so much.. I just wish they would believe in me or bear things with me.

 

[Pink_Paula]

I get on really well with my mum, she does my head in at times, but i love her to bits and would be lost without her.

My dad is dead and that's good, he was a horrible man, i never liked him!

 

[Lorraine Manca]

my parents know about my problems and use them against me. i was once stupid enough to let my mother have the phonenumbers of my room mates and close friends. she got angry and called these folks and made it out to seem i was hardcore crazy and needed to be watched closely. she's always been really creative at finding ways to hurt me. those people never treated me the same again, i felt like a freak. growing up she always insinuated i was brain damaged.

 

[lurknomore]

I'm pretty close with my mom. I was never really that close with my dad, he died just over a year ago... he wasn't really close with too many people anyway, maybe that's why I am the way I am.

I've mentioned the fact that I've been diagnosed with SP around my family, but no one really seems to be all that interested in exactly what it is or how it affects me. My youngest brother brings it up and drills me every once in a while about it (caught me looking at SPW on my laptop while visiting my mom :, and while I think he cares, he just can't grasp why I just can't do certain things.

 

[Josh5339]

My first parents seriously messed me up, although I've never known them. Being rejected by your parents and sent away hurts a lot. So does knowing your father ran off on your mother when she was pregnant and may have been a criminal. Made me feel worthless and second-hand, lowest of the low which according to my shrink is a LARGE contributor to why I have social anxiety. In my mind rejection equates proving them right for leaving me.

My adoptive parents are alright though, or I'm at least starting to gradually see them as relatively alright. Was hiding who I really was from them for majority of my life (21 years) in fear that they'd want a "take back" (as defined in 'Good will Hunting'). But, as they start to see more of who I really am and not the mask, they're cool with it so far... so, past years were relatively hell, but they're kinda cool now.

 

[Silvox Black]

My mother is authoritarian. My father is dead. My mother is a fool who attempts to care for me yet does not know how. My father, well on one hand I did not know him well, on the other hand, he did marry my mother so I wonder as to his intelligence.

When I was young, I had been oppressed and sheltered for the majority of my life. My mother had, at that point I had believed anyway, emotionally been abusing me. Perhaps I was simply a young child being a fool, perhaps not. I still do not know. Anyhow, I started planning out a suicide. My elementary school found out right before I was to go off to a field trip. They sent me to the school psychologist and called my mother, which I had begged them not to do for fear of what she would do to me. When she walked me to the parking lot to go off to the field trip, the only thing she asked me was, "Are you okay?"
I responded, "Yeah." And that was that. This is not the only instance of her apathy, but it is one of my most poignant ones. If my mother would not even wonder as to why I wanted to die, then obviously she has problems of her own and is unfit to raise a child. Bah, I am merely biased is all. Ignore me.

 

[Krista]

My mother is authoritarian. My father is dead. My mother is a fool who attempts to care for me yet does not know how. My father, well on one hand I did not know him well, on the other hand, he did marry my mother so I wonder as to his intelligence.

When I was young, I had been oppressed and sheltered for the majority of my life. My mother had, at that point I had believed anyway, emotionally been abusing me. Perhaps I was simply a young child being a fool, perhaps not. I still do not know. Anyhow, I started planning out a suicide. My elementary school found out right before I was to go off to a field trip. They sent me to the school psychologist and called my mother, which I had begged them not to do for fear of what she would do to me. When she walked me to the parking lot to go off to the field trip, the only thing she asked me was, "Are you okay?"
I responded, "Yeah." And that was that. This is not the only instance of her apathy, but it is one of my most poignant ones. If my mother would not even wonder as to why I wanted to die, then obviously she has problems of her own and is unfit to raise a child. Bah, I am merely biased is all. Ignore me.

No ignoring, we say that so people won't react like they care. But you aren't the only one..I could tell you a thing or two on sadistic mothers.

 

[Shift]

I don't get along with either of my parents...

My dad knows about my SA because I had my high school interventionist call him and get me into therapy. But he doesn't think that I have a problem and that I don't talk because I'm lazy. But then he also yells at me for not being normal and not talking. And now I don't really talk to him about anything.

I don't tell my mother anything. I don't think she'd understand. Plus, she lives in a different state and I hate talking on the phone and she doesn't know how to use a computer, so we don't communicate a lot and I haven't seen her in a few years.

 

[illuminationSP]

I hate my parents and the ground they walk upon. My heart is still racing from arguing with my "mom" just a second ago. Yeah, I'd rather have some stranger take their place.

I don't know what it means to have a family.

 

[lyricalliaisons]

Me & my mom are closer than me & my dad because I've lived with her my whole life. My dad had to move to another state to take care of his mom when I was around 2 or 3 & I only saw him about four times a year when I was little, for a week or two at a time because he couldn't find anyone to babysit my grandma more often than that. The visits slowly decreased as I got older & by the time I was in my mid-late teens, I only saw him about once a year for about a week. It was because we used to fight all the time because we're completely different people & have completely different views, etc. He's a hard person to get along with & it got so bad when I was 19 that I refused to see him until I was 21. By then, he had married a woman who I love & who saved our relationship & basically keeps us together. She's like aloe & he's like a rash lol. She calms him down & makes him easier for me to deal with. I haven't seen either them in about 2 1/2 years, though because they're old (he was 40 when I was born) & have health problems & it's hard for them to travel & I'm still far too scared to go see them because of my agoraphobia/SA.

My relationship with my mom was great until she got married when I was eight & started paying more attention to her husband. We didn't become close again until I was about 14 & they separated. I've been taking care of her since I was 19 when she had a bad stroke that nearly killed her & left her mentally unable to do a most things she once did. Our relationship is strained because I feel she takes advantage of me & doesn't pull her weight, but she's the closest thing to a friend that I have & the only person in my life. Since I've had SA my whole life, she definitely knows about it, but doesn't understand it. My dad knows to an extent but I've never talked to him about it since he doesn't think of mental illness as being a viable condition.

Well, there's my biography lol. I guess I did more than just answer the question! ::

 

[Elenwen]

I'm not very close to my parents. Once I moved out, I rarely called. Even when I was in the hospital, the staff begged me everyday to call, but I refused for three days, and then I only called because I had to go in for a biopsy and I didn't think it was fair to not let them know about that. Then when I was sick there was a big show of solidarity--I moved back in with my dad and stepmom to get treatment at the best hospital for what I had. My relationship with my stepmom pretty much went downhill, but my relationship with my dad strengthened. I do try to call my dad on holidays and things now, though I still try to avoid talking to my stepmom. And I keep in touch with my biological mom via Myspace.

None of my family knows the full extent of my social phobia, all they think it is is that I'm not good at keeping in touch. My grandma thinks I'm an ungrateful b*tch, since I don't call even after everything everyone did for me during my illness. I don't even bother trying to explain things to most of my family, because they don't really understand mental illness. I did try to explain to my dad about my phone phobia, to explain to him why I don't call him more often than I do. I don't think he really understands it, but he doesn't like talking on the phone much either, so he doesn't badger me too much about it, until it comes to making official phone calls like doctor's appointments and things.

 

[mrb]

I'm pretty close with my mom. I was never really that close with my dad, he died just over a year ago... he wasn't really close with too many people anyway, maybe that's why I am the way I am.

I've mentioned the fact that I've been diagnosed with SP around my family, but no one really seems to be all that interested in exactly what it is or how it affects me. My youngest brother brings it up and drills me every once in a while about it (caught me looking at SPW on my laptop while visiting my mom :, and while I think he cares, he just can't grasp why I just can't do certain things.

yep my mate caught me on the computer at work looking at spw , he came up behind me and said oh what site is that then i was clicking like mad to get rid of it :: how Embarrassing , iv told my mates and my family about my sa just so they understand about my problems with mixing , so i guess they do understand why im anti social .. but im moving to ireland in spite of it i refuse to let it control my life .. but i only have mild sa so its not to bad , with those who have sa really bad it must be a nightmare , and people cant understand why i cant do certain things as well .. no one can understand sa unless they have it ...

 

[Brokenx]

my parents know about my problems and use them against me. i was once stupid enough to let my mother have the phonenumbers of my room mates and close friends. she got angry and called these folks and made it out to seem i was hardcore crazy and needed to be watched closely. she's always been really creative at finding ways to hurt me. those people never treated me the same again, i felt like a freak. growing up she always insinuated i was brain damaged.

WOW, seriously this is like how i am with my mother, she has never rang my friends or anything but she uses my problems against me, she makes me feel worthless and she goes out of her way to hurt me and trys to turn everyone who i have contact with against me.