Vampayah88
Well-known member
Editweirjwoier
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Oozing negativity
- Thread starter Vampayah88
- Start date
B
Beatrice
Guest
Yes! People have told me things like that.
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
Yes I relate but I'm really unsure how to go about it... If you think of anything feel free to brainstorm with me please.
People are always asking 'if i'm okay'. Lately my teacher told me that I always look depressed. (It was to help me improve to gain employment). One thing that she did mention is proper dress and hygiene. Apparently messy hair makes one look depressed. I can kind of understand that one.
Body language, try not to slouch, sit straight and with your shoulders back. Try to even just skim information on things that you may be able to contribute to general conversation with... Or spend less time on technology and live through real actions that you can share in conversation. For me I don't have much experience with many things so I can't add to conversation, when I stay out of conversation for long periods of time people think that I am depressed. Try to keep eye contact and don't look down (physically with your eyes) instead of making eye contact. Show interest on your face when you're in conversation, and even when you're just overhearing a conversation... uhhhm. Do you have a low energy level? Sometimes that can transfer to a depression 'vibe', perhaps exercise daily or before going out.
I think the most helpful thing you can do is adopt a positive attitude. It takes a while to get that down pat, and you'll know when you really have it down because most likely your SA will fade as you do (only this 'I can't or I suck or I'm not enough' thinking holds us back.)
People are always asking 'if i'm okay'. Lately my teacher told me that I always look depressed. (It was to help me improve to gain employment). One thing that she did mention is proper dress and hygiene. Apparently messy hair makes one look depressed. I can kind of understand that one.
Body language, try not to slouch, sit straight and with your shoulders back. Try to even just skim information on things that you may be able to contribute to general conversation with... Or spend less time on technology and live through real actions that you can share in conversation. For me I don't have much experience with many things so I can't add to conversation, when I stay out of conversation for long periods of time people think that I am depressed. Try to keep eye contact and don't look down (physically with your eyes) instead of making eye contact. Show interest on your face when you're in conversation, and even when you're just overhearing a conversation... uhhhm. Do you have a low energy level? Sometimes that can transfer to a depression 'vibe', perhaps exercise daily or before going out.
I think the most helpful thing you can do is adopt a positive attitude. It takes a while to get that down pat, and you'll know when you really have it down because most likely your SA will fade as you do (only this 'I can't or I suck or I'm not enough' thinking holds us back.)
Phoenixx
Well-known member
I've definitely gotten this plenty of times. I've always been a serious person and a deep thinker. I guess when I'm lost in thought or something, I seem angry. I've had people ask me, especially my mom, "What's your problem?" or "Are you angry?" Not only do these questions actually make me mad, but I get kinda upset about them too. I mean, I'm not a horrible person.. and that's how I take it as when they ask, almost like an insult. I'm not the most outgoing or extroverted person at all, but I want to look approachable. I'm just totally unsure on how to do that exactly.
nic1357
New member
i dont have many friends, and out of those there is only 1 that i feel understands why i do some of the things that i do. she says i am going into my "cave" and she just sits with me for a while. other friends i have known for years and years and they still ask me wtf am i doing to which i have no reply. i dont really have a solution for it. well actually i do, i just avoid people, but thats part of the problem isnt it.
Hastings & Main
Well-known member
Oh yes. My face in repose is naturally sad looking. I've slowly been 'teaching' my face to have either a slight smile or a neutral expression.
Unfortunately, I have a "sinister"-type face, so a slight smile makes people think I'm always up to something!
Unfortunately, I have a "sinister"-type face, so a slight smile makes people think I'm always up to something!
Vampayah88
Well-known member
I have a naturally sad face too. Just now I smiled very slighty and looked in the mirror and my face just looks serious..omg..altho my eyes seem to smile just a little..and like you, it makes me look like im up to smth lol
same problem.
I used to walk around with a smile all the time, so I wouldn't look mad, and then people asked me why I was always smiling.
Can't win.
I used to walk around with a smile all the time, so I wouldn't look mad, and then people asked me why I was always smiling.
Can't win.
Not too long ago I had a session with my therapist where he went over some readily observable aspects of me. The bottom line is that I put a wall up to keep people away. He said I dress too dark, I wear my prescription shades too often (never indoors/at night though, haha) and that even my car screams f- off, apparently. I told him that I'm a big dude and that I would look strange dressed in bright colors and driving a cutesy bubble car. The other thing is that I don't enjoy being around people so I sort of figure why would I want to change it? It's so hard to alter these things when you feel they're an integral part of who you are. I do always keep good posture when I'm out and about though, and I smile at people quite often, so that helps. Still, I feel I'm not very approachable in general and I do notice that people never accost me on the street or ask me for anything. I'm sort of divided on whether that's a good thing or not. On the one hand, it's a fairly lonely setup, but at least nobody gives me a hard time.
In any case, I do find that I'm very stable mood-wise and that I'm not really negative. In fact, I would say I'm fairly ongoingly cheerful and content in my own way. I just seem to want to keep the public at a safe distance for some reason.
In any case, I do find that I'm very stable mood-wise and that I'm not really negative. In fact, I would say I'm fairly ongoingly cheerful and content in my own way. I just seem to want to keep the public at a safe distance for some reason.
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Nanita
Well-known member
Yep... So many people have said or thought that I am arrogant, unpleasant, difficult, a snob, and so on. Lost the will to even try to please people because even when I really try to be easy, friendly, outgoing, people think I´m weird and arrogant. I´m tired of all that, so so so tired....
someone at the gym told me something similar about sensing someone aura but of course i don't believe any of that
he also said something about me looking as though i would commit some terrible acts, causing everyone else there to laugh as though it was funny
personally im not forcing a smile for anyone
he also said something about me looking as though i would commit some terrible acts, causing everyone else there to laugh as though it was funny
personally im not forcing a smile for anyone