Online stalking and obsessing

[Iseesky]

Facebook has been a blessing and a curse for my obsessing tendencies. I'm definitely not proud!

I'm 20 and have never been in a relationship. I have have few problems talking to guys, unless that guy is someone I like. And if they are, I avoid them like the plague, but stalk them online.

And it's creepy, but even my 'normal' friends have this in common with me. Even just a simple 5 minute, awkward conversation with a beautiful stranger is enough to get me head over heels. Perhaps it's someone from school...Or perhaps it's someone I've met on vacation (which it usually is......). But, I'll look up their facebook profile. I'll remember their name for the sole purpose of looking them up on facebook to find out more about them. What music they listen to...Who they hang out with...What they like and dislike...I just like to know them. And the more I check their profile, the more interested in them I get. And with facebook, you can go from not knowing them at all, to knowing as much as their best friend would know.

And I feel guilty that I've resorted to stalking them online rather than talking to them more when I had the chance.

Does anyone do this? How does it make you feel?

I think I do this because they're more safe. Not having to talk to a guy in real life gets rid of the anxiety and butterflies and disappointment...

 

[hoddesdon]

This reminds me of the thread by TooShyShy about the person she liked at work with social phobia who kept driving by her house. Keeping in touch vicariously by other means than personal engagement. You could always send a friend request via Facebook.

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

Didnt know females did this. I hope someone beautiful like you stalks me on FB or online lol. =)

I never really did this, well unless I was FB friends with person, well ok lie. But mainly a few times, even recently with girl I do see everyweek talk to her but it's a class/more professional thing and always get nervous logging into FB to check her status. Only real reason log into FB atm. So feel like a stalker doing that a bit.

Which motivates me to actually try and do more in RL. I hope =)

 

[AGR]

Yes there is a moderator on another site I go to,I keep checking her posts, pics,but its just that, besides being way out of my league,I know I dont really know her,you cant really truly know someone just from the net,you are actually creating an image of them that is not necessarily true,also its probably because I dont have much contact with girls in real life right now.

 

[Rose_Red]

I have abit of an obsessive online stalking issue.
I do the same, but I also go onto sites and look at peoples profiles of people I find interesting over and over again..
Sometimes I even save their photos.. I don't know why I do it.
I hate it, but I just do.
With certain people I also go back constantly and look through their comments, posts and such. See if they have anything new to look at.
It's weird knowing all about a person, but not once talking to them.

I really feel awful doing this, but maybe it's the anxiety. Alot of the people, I want to talk to but I'm too scared, others it's simply because I find them interesting or over-protective of for some weird reason.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I think that as long as your curiosity doesn't start to become invasive and doesn't begin to disrupt your life or your love interest's life, there is no harm in looking them up on Facebook. If a person has a FB page which they make accessible to the public (not on private settings) then this could be an invitation for those who are curious, to look them up. Looking up someone's FB profile is a lot different than stalking them. Stalkers don't make a point of questioning their behavior or motives. That's what makes them dangerous.

Often times, people see pictures of good looking people on these social networking sites, look them up and befriend them. That's partly what these sites are for. Recently, I saw a picture of a really gorgeous guy on one of my friend's wall, became curious and I looked him up. I'm not planning on obsessing over the guy, but I was curious to see more pictures and the kinds of things he was interested in.

I would find it flattering if someone took the time to look up my interests rather than simply checking my albums for half-naked pictures of me and my friends. I've had a friend of a friend friend me in order to ask me for nude pictures, but something tells me he never bothered to look up my interests or things I write on my wall.

 

[LonelyWonders]

Ya I do that same thing. I've done it so many times.. in fact recently somebody I use to be friends with before I started to develope my SA and now am to afraid to talk to. Haven't really talked to her in a little over 2 years and the one time I did try I could see she didn't really wanna talk to me at all =\ Shes was the one person in life I cared about, still is. =\

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I would find it flattering if someone took the time to look up my interests rather than simply checking my albums for half-naked pictures of me and my friends. I've had a friend of a friend friend me in order to ask me for nude pictures, but something tells me he never bothered to look up my interests or things I write on my wall.

You really don't have a lot listed under interests or info. Just sayin'. *stalks* ::

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

You really don't have a lot listed under interests or info. Just sayin'. *stalks* ::

Aww! You checked! I'll make sure to list more interests just for you.

 

[schist]

I do/did it heaps. I just feign ignorance when I actually talk to them about their interests/favourite music etc.

 

[Strange_Loner]

HAHAHAHA___YEEEES. I do this too.... Then others think I'm crazy and stop taking to me... Really I'm very much harmless, but they always get the impression that I'm some sort of a serial Killer Stalker...
I save Photos of people I like too, LOL and search about them online. Only cos I Like them and want to know more about them. Then they fear me : (

 

[vj288]

If a person has a FB page which they make accessible to the public (not on private settings) then this could be an invitation for those who are curious, to look them up. Looking up someone's FB profile is a lot different than stalking them. Stalkers don't make a point of questioning their behavior or motives. That's what makes them dangerous.

Yeah I was about to say this. I think the whole reason people put stuff up about themselves on sites like facebook is so that people like you can read it and learn a bit about them.

 

[LonelyWonders]

HAHAHAHA___YEEEES. I do this too.... Then others think I'm crazy and stop taking to me... Really I'm very much harmless, but they always get the impression that I'm some sort of a serial Killer Stalker...
I save Photos of people I like too, LOL and search about them online. Only cos I Like them and want to know more about them. Then they fear me : (

Thats why you don't tell others about it. I do that as well, not a single person knows. Cept now o.o. No more ninja stalking for me then since my secret is discovered

 

[BeauZa]

I don't partake in cyberstalking unfamilars per se, but rather a slight variant; after I've met someone with whom I managed to hit it off - especially in the case of a beautiful female - I will make frequent checkups on their networking pages for any signs of activity, ie. posts... this is basically me just being impatient to have another conversation with them.

I don't intend to impose anything, and I'm saying this to everyone who frequently views the profile of someone they don't know... that person might just be flattered if they found out that you're taking such an interest in them.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

Yeah I was about to say this. I think the whole reason people put stuff up about themselves on sites like facebook is so that people like you can read it and learn a bit about them.

Definitely! I think there's a little vanity in everyone. Some people are more private than others, but I think everyone likes attention, admiration and to feel appreciated to one extent or another.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I am SO paranoid of people stalking me.
I've had 8 stalkers in my life- real life ones- all of them ended up being very scary and physical; not just 'watching/wanting to know about me'


and this is why I HATE facebook. It makes it so easy for people to stalk eachother... whether it's harmless or something more sinister.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

I can't say I do this (I rarely use FB at all) but I don't think you should feel bad that you check people out on FB. It is, after all, a public website so if they didn't want people to be able read about them or see pictures of them then perhaps they shouldn't put the stuff there in the first place.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

I've had a friend of a friend friend me in order to ask me for nude pictures, but something tells me he never bothered to look up my interests or things I write on my wall.

When I looked at your SPW album a while ago, I didn't notice any nude pictures of you.

Should I be checking back more often? ::

 

[coyote]

...It is, after all, a public website so if they didn't want people to be able read about them or see pictures of them then perhaps they shouldn't put the stuff there in the first place.

this should be on the test you should have to take for the license that everyone should be required to obtain before they're allowed on the information superhighway

 

[LonelyWonders]

this should be on the test you should have to take for the license that everyone should be required to obtain before they're allowed on the information superhighway

Is there an age limit to this test of yours?