Online Dating vs Old Fashioned Dating

OceanMist

Well-known member
This might be straying off the topic a little bit. I was debated making it a new thread, but I decided to put it in this one instead. Anyway, one thing I am currently having much trouble with in the online scene is knowing how and when to go past the initial 'asking questions' stage. It always turns out we message back and forth a few times asking questions about the other one's profile. I get stuck there, not knowing how to proceed, until one or both of us loses interest. It never fails.

Something I've learned from the online dating, and dating in general because certain rules are the same, is that it's better to be too aggressive as opposed to too passive.

Ideally, you want to find a medium between aggressive and passive.

In your situation that you just posted about, after you've asked about 3 questions, I think you should ask for her number.

If she doesn't want to give her number by then, it's a pretty big red flag. It's up to you if you want to keep talking to her after that.

Most of the time you will get her number after asking a couple of questions, so start texting her until you feel comfortable asking her on a date. This is where opinions vary. All I can tell you is that you don't want to wait too long to ask her out. It's better to get shut down by asking her on a date too early as opposed to too late.

That's usually the game that should be run on there. I have actually talked to a woman about this and she told me that women online: most women are comfortable with talking online dating site, then texting, then calling, then meeting in person.

You sound like a good guy and I think if you start making it happen by asking for her number and then asking her on a date, you will be golden.

Even though I've been on like 13 dates with different women I still sometimes have dead conversations like you talked about, so I totally feel ya there.

It sucks that even though I usually am more shy than the woman I am talking to, I have to lead the conversation, but that's what many women prefer. We have to adapt. It's not easy, haha. But I've had success, so it's possible.

Luckily there are many women out there will carry a conversation very well once you get them warmed up with questions and comments.
 
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OceanMist

Well-known member
Do you have to pay for dating sites or are some just for free. Do you HAVE TO POST A picture of yourself on there just to see what people look like, or is it just your decision to do so? Thank you to commenting on this thread and remember this is just my opinion how I view this.

There are free sites. The ones I use are OKcupid, POF, and datehookup. I am poor so I haven't paid a dime and it's worked out well actually.

You don't have to post a picture, but if you are a guy, I think that'd be a terrible strategy to not post a picture. As guys, my fellow men have to play a numbers game on there and if a guy doesn't even have a picture a lot of women are going to think he's insecure, which ain't gonna help his chances.
 

Xervello

Well-known member
The trouble is, if you haven't actually met them yet, it's too easy to fill in the blanks and imagine them however you want to. That's more like infatuation with some made-up version of them.

That's true. But still, that person is in "love" even if it's with a somewhat-imagined version of the person. The love they feel is real. I speak from personal experience. I've been doing the online chat thing for about ten years now. I've had a handful of dalliances, and one where I developed a significant crush on another. But recently I grew feelings for someone which surpassed that crush tenfold. It was unexpected, not something I sought ought to find or wanted. Being someone who used to think that the physical connection was required in order to be in love, it confused me. I'd never experienced anything so profound before. Is it possible I was simply infatuated? Yes. However, if you knew me, perhaps you'd tend to see where I'm coming from. In any event, people do develop serious feelings online. But the point of this thread was dating. And I agree with everyone that face-to-face, offline dating is the best way to go.
 
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