Online Dating vs Old Fashioned Dating

FriendlyShadow

Well-known member
#1
I want to know what you guys think? Do you prefer online dating or the "real world dating." Personally, I'm going to use the online dating website(not now) but when I'm eighteen or older. I don't want to get tied down again and rejected by other people from the outside world. Too much stress and the person could always be lying of who they are either way, though to me if I get a chance when I'm older enough to meet those people on the online dating sites at least i can get a sense of their personalities and not just based on looks. I understand that their might be some creeps on the internet and I have to be careful but that can happen anywhere like I was saying. Do you have to pay for dating sites or are some just for free. Do you HAVE TO POST A picture of yourself on there just to see what people look like, or is it just your decision to do so? Thank you to commenting on this thread and remember this is just my opinion how I view this.
 

thor01

Well-known member
#2
In my experience, people online can ignore in the same way that people in real life can "regect". But if that doesn't put you off fo ahead. And I guess maybe not all are ignored.
Anyway after trying it for a few years I'm still gonna keep my profiles but have decided its a watse of energy to put alot of time into that and that if I wanna get anywhere in that way I'll probabaly need to improve on approaching random people in real life, somehow.
 
#3
There are many free dating sites, but I've heard the better ones are (of course) the ones you pay for. OKCupid is free, but you can upgrade and pay a certain amount for more features. I used the free version of OKCupid and I thought it was pretty good. I also tried PlentyofFish, which is terrible.

On OKCupid I received some interesting, intelligent-sounding messages, but a significant percentage of them were things like "hey bby ur hot" or "sup cutie", which I never bothered responding to. That seems to be standard on most, if not all, dating websites (for females anyway). Some people are just lazy or want one-night stands. I dated someone from OKCupid for a few months, and overall it went well.

On the whole, though, I think I prefer meeting someone in person before we arrange a date, and not through a website. There are many reasons I feel this way, but one of the major ones is that I don't like the fear that I will disappoint when all I have are some photographs of myself. If you meet someone in the real world, they already know what you look like from head to toe (clothed, anyway), so if they ask you out it clearly means they like what they see. This is coming from a woman, of course.

I say this because I went on a date with a guy from OKCupid (before I started dating another one regularly), and one of the comments he made was about an aspect of my anatomy that I am rather insecure about. It was completely out of the blue and it left me feeling horrible about myself, and even triggered my latest episode of depression.

Take my two cents for what they're worth :p
 
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twiggle

Well-known member
#4
I think old-fashioned dating is better.

Dating sites have always seemed to me to be like the McDonalds of the dating world - a quick convenience that's probably not healthy but can be enjoyable.

That said... I know many couples very happy after meeting on dating websites, and I'm currently dating somebody too who I met on one.

I think it just depends... I think if you try online dating, then be prepared that many people are going to message you wanting just sex. I think, if you're prepared to be patient and really try and get to know somebody, then online dating can work.
 

FriendlyShadow

Well-known member
#5
I respect your opinion of not dating online. It's just preference really though, but I'm just going to see what online dating is just to see what it's like, but i appreciate you have given me your honest opinion about it.
 
#7
I respect your opinion of not dating online. It's just preference really though, but I'm just going to see what online dating is just to see what it's like, but i appreciate you have given me your honest opinion about it.
Oh definitely try it, I think it's worth giving it a try to see if it's for you. I found it wasn't for me, but I don't regret trying it. I had always been curious.

The worst that can happen is... well, I can't really think of anything besides rejection, which happens in real life anyway. So you may as well see for yourself :)
 
#9
I gave it a go and it worked out pretty well for me, people are people, online or in person, just be careful. I didn't post any pics because I didn't want to attract the weirdos or the perverts. And personality really is what attracts me to someone (also eliminated myself from most peoples searches though as most people only search for profiles with photos)...but I didn't want to hear from weirdos and I wasn't in any hurry to meet anyone, just wanted to see what all the fuss was about. I only got one weirdo email me( without pics they dont bother you) . I just contacted the people who I found interesting but in the meantime my now boyfriend contacted me after he read my profile. And we talked a couple weeks before meeting up and we're very happy. :)
 
#11
I'll give it a shot and give my 2cents. As has already been said by some here, give it a shot. The worst that can happen is being ignored which happens when you go try to meet people in the real world. I've had mixed luck in real life and when it comes to online, I seem to attract some strange ducks. That said, I met one girl I was with for almost a year while playing an online game while I was going through one of my major depression phases. I've been meaning to try online dating again, but it will have to wait for now since my best friend wants to set me up with someone, which I think might get a little weird. It could be a good way to fight off this current depression phase and could help with my social anxiety. Guess we'll see what happens.
Anyway, give the online thing a shot. What can you lose?
 

coyote

Well-known member
#12
meeting someone online for the purpose of arranging an actual "date" with them is different than meeting and interacting with someone exclusively online

it's not really "dating" without the ability to touch one another and the potential for exchanging bodily fluids

maybe i'm just old fashioned
 
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awkwardamanda

Well-known member
#13
it's not really "dating" without the ability to touch one another and the potential for exchanging bodily fluids
...Which is why I don't understand how some people can have these long-distance relationships with people they've met online, who live in other cities or countries even. It's ok to meet people online, but you can't really know how you feel about someone until you've actually spent some time with them. I had a friend in high school who married a guy she met playing an online game after they had only met in person a few times. It didn't work out.

I think I'd like to avoid online dating. There are a lot of desperate people on those sites. And a lot of superficial people just looking for somebody with a hot profile pic. That's not to say it's true of everybody. I'm sure there are plenty of decent people too, just using it as another way of meeting people. But it makes me weary. I don't like the thought of somebody choosing to contact me based on what I've said in a profile, or worse, what my picture looks like. When I join any website, I put limited info in my profile and never post a picture of myself. Plus, I think it would be very discouraging, just sifting through profiles and likely getting nowhere. I also don't like the idea of letting a computer program find people it thinks would be a good match for me. Seems like a very disconnected sort of way to meet people. I wouldn't wanna get too attached to the way I'm imagining somebody before actually meeting them.

I've taken a very laid-back approach to dating. I'm not trying to meet anybody. I'd like to let things happen on their own, and if nothing happens, then so be it. I'm well aware that not having a social life makes it very unlikely I'll meet anybody. Oh well.

Now that all being said, I don't think I should rule it out entirely. I may decide at some point to give it a try. The thing is, the kinds of guys I'd be interested in probably aren't the kind of guys out socializing too much. I need a quiet, geeky type guy. It's pretty hard for people like that to just meet by chance when neither like to actually get out and do things that would lead to meeting people. That's likely to result in perpetual solitude.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
#14
I once online-dated a girl who turned out to be a potato. :sad:

All jokes aside, I think there's merits in both situations. I wouldn't rule either of them out.
 

Flanscho

Well-known member
#15
Got both its ups and downs. If you meet an interesting person online though, you shouldn't wait too long to meet him/her in real life too, according to my experiences.
 

Raichel

Well-known member
#16
The thing I dislike about online dating is that you cannot possibly capture your personality in a few sentences. People judge you according to what they read on your profile, but the thing is, they never get the whole picture of who you are. In real life I find it easier to determine whether I like someone or not.
 
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laure15

Well-known member
#17
I've taken a very laid-back approach to dating. I'm not trying to meet anybody. I'd like to let things happen on their own, and if nothing happens, then so be it. I'm well aware that not having a social life makes it very unlikely I'll meet anybody. Oh well.

Now that all being said, I don't think I should rule it out entirely. I may decide at some point to give it a try. The thing is, the kinds of guys I'd be interested in probably aren't the kind of guys out socializing too much. I need a quiet, geeky type guy. It's pretty hard for people like that to just meet by chance when neither like to actually get out and do things that would lead to meeting people. That's likely to result in perpetual solitude.

Same here. I also take the laid-back approach to dating. Whether I meet someone or not, it doesn't really matter to me.
 
#19
I've always had a laid back approach to things, and that was my attitude towards dating when I left my ex husband almost seven years ago. The problem is, not only am I laid back, but I'm apparently unapproachable, and nothing happens the old fashioned way for me, even making friends. Even though I think the old fashioned way would be better, I have no idea how to meet people, or even so make myself approachable. However, I have yet to work up the gumption to try an online dating site, I'm just too nervous, and don't think I have the patience to put up with those that are only looking for sex, and part of me is afraid that I'll be just as ignored online as I am in real life, and I'm not sure I need another thing to be depressed about right now.
 

1BlackSheep

Well-known member
#20
^^ Haha, Lurknomore - I agree! After reading here about some people having success with online dating, I decided to give it a try. I've gotten some "interesting" responses like "your soooo beautiful, but you must hear that all the time" (even though I have no pic posted), and a younger guy who made sure to let me know that he has a "big, fat one"! It's both discouraging and amusing! :eek: :bigsmile: I'm not expecting to find "the one", but if I met a nice friend to hang out with, I'd be ok with that.
 
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