On the subject of dating...

[JamesSmith]

To those who say they are unemployed and therefore aren't dating-material - well then, why not become employed for a change?

I've been turning in applications. I've been trying. My options are limited because there are certain jobs I can't work like being a waiter or working behind a register.

I'm not looking for a job so I can have a date. I'm looking for a job so I can have my own place and have money for myself. And the way you said I should be employed "for a change" made it seem like I never work which isn't the case. I've worked at least 10 different jobs in my lifetime. I always try to be working.

 

[Felgen]

Oh, don't misunderstand me everybody. My negative self-view isn't as bad as some of you might think. I merely stated that I don't have 'good boyfriend qualities' (you know those impossible god-like standards some women have for us mortal men).

It's nice that there are those members of the opposing (oops, I mean opposite) gender who don't like dating either. I hate when people try to pressure me into it. I snap at them when they try. It's great. Nobody dare does it to me now.

Besides, I am an introvert (and pretty proud of it). My imagination has always my greatest companion (at and times my worst enemy). It's kept me alive, really.

Women have different standards, depending on taste. Trust me, if a woman who is actually picky shows interest in you, you'll be flattered.

 

[The LostOne]

Even the thought of dating puts my stomach in knots.

 

[Minty]

Even the thought of dating puts my stomach in knots.

Me too lol. So much pressure. Dating is something that even makes non-SA people nervous and feel bad about themselves.

 

[bsebring]

I feel like dating can be the most amazing thing someone can do or the worst. It depends on if you meet the right person for you and what their own views on relationships are. IMO it's best to work on yourself first and if the right guy/girl comes along then that's great, but you can't rely on someone to change you. It has to happen naturally.
With that being said, my plan is to go to college and get an accomplished career before I think about dating. If it doesn't happen, I plan to stick with school and go back to get a masters. However, if I meet the right person then there won't be a need to (commit myself to a masters and more work).
I know it's easier said than done but I think it's a good mindset to keep (for me at least), otherwise the commitment is that much harder to maintain.

 

[bsebring]

You have this idea in your head that you have to be this superstar when in reality all the woman wants is to get to know the real you. Trust me, there are plenty of guys who aren't funny that have g/fs, you don't have to be funny to break the ice.

This holds a lot of truth to it. I'm a girl and I just want a normal relationship with a guy I can relate to and be intimate with. A lot of people have a lot to offer without holding a "superstar" status.

 

[Anti Matter]

To those who say they are unemployed and therefore aren't dating-material - well then, why not become employed for a change?

I'm employed, but I understand how hard it is to be unemployed, especially in this country (UK) now that a certain right wing party has just gotten into power. 250,000 People will be cut from jobs in the upcoming year because of the economic climate we are in, the VAT has increased by an extra 2.5% thus means cost of living is higher for everyone.

So what I'm trying to say, it's f***ing hard to find a job, even in the USA or where ever. The current economic climate we are in is screwing us for every penny because of greedy bankers, investors and building societies.

Just saying "Well become employed" isn't going to help anyone really.

 

[JamesSmith]

I'm employed, but I understand how hard it is to be unemployed, especially in this country (UK) now that a certain right wing party has just gotten into power. 250,000 People will be cut from jobs in the upcoming year because of the economic climate we are in, the VAT has increased by an extra 2.5% thus means cost of living is higher for everyone.

So what I'm trying to say, it's f***ing hard to find a job, even in the USA or where ever. The current economic climate we are in is screwing us for every penny because of greedy bankers, investors and building societies.

Just saying "Well become employed" isn't going to help anyone really.

Very well said.

 

[ZachMusician]

Dating is complicated. I would usually only have relationships with girls that were first my friends. And those usually would crash and burn miserably after a month or so. Sure haven't done it in a while, and I feel like if I did now, they'd just think i'm strange because the OCD has gotten worse lol. "Why were you in the bathroom for twenty minutes?" "Uhhhh... I was washing my hands?..." "Check please." But maybe one day that special "someone" will come along... who knows?

 

[blackgatescross]

I would like to date, however I have two primary having not done so yet in my life.

One, I don't ask women out as I am worried that I will get rejected. Secondly, I honestly cannot be bothered. This is why I have never been on one. It doesn't bother me as much as it used to because when I was younger, I had the foolish belief that if I had a girlfriend, life would be perfect.

Now I know that is crap, and if anything for someone like me, life would be more challenging. I am terrified of being emotionally obligated towards someone else, however I do wish I went on dates and had a girlfriend as I worry what other people would think if I didn't.

Dating seems like such a challenge. I don't understand how people go on blind dates, sitting there and struggling to make conversation, struggling to find something in common. It sounds terrible.

The way I see it is that getting dates is simply a numbers game. The more women that you ask out, the better chance of getting one. However, because of my SA and low self-esteem, I very rarely go out and get the opportunity to meet them.

I think that in order to get to that level I need to get out more. Easier said than done . . .

 

[Kiwong]

I don't think about dating. I haven't for at least ten years. I just want to work on living without fear.

 

[Horatio]

Dating is a game I don't have the opportunity to play. Probably a good thing as I don't know the rules anyway. It gets lonely though when its a Saturday night and all my friends are out playing the dating game while I sit at home listening to Eddie Vedder

 

[HH]

nothing wrong with a bit of eddie....are you a pearl jam fan?
I'm in the same boat as blackgatescross.......I've tried different things like speed dating, internet dating but nothings really come of it. I just need to be more confident and assertive when it comes to approaching females and actually go out and meet people....ah, who am I kidding : )

 

[thewiz]

I've dated a lot in the past including a 2 yr relationship but right now my self-esteem is hovering around negative a thousand and depression is always good company and dwelling more on your SA is even better. But there are periods where none of this is evident and I'm living peacefully -- it sure helps. Actually, every time I date I feel better. Self-worth right there.