Obsessed with the past..

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Polly_Princess

Active member
I'm obssessed with the past. I spent hours and hours per week going through my life with a fine-toothed comb. I read old diaries, school reports, academic transcripts, letters e.t.c over and over again. I'm forever thinking about the past and looking back at old photographs. I'm constantly talking about and analysing the past, and I'm sure that this is annoying to my friends and family. I'm losing more and more time just "looking back," doing things like watching videos that I liked when I was in elementary school, reading those teen magazines I read in junior high, e.t.c.

It also means that I harbour A LOT of guilt, because I remember every last mistake I've ever made over the course of 20 years every single day!

Does anyone know techniques to get over this?
 
PunkRotten

PunkRotten

1
Stop living in the past its over. Stop looking at old pictures and videos, you are only making it worse. Forget the guilt, the past can't be changed. Think about today and only worry about today.
 
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Polly_Princess

Active member
I kep my journal on my computer, so I can look at about two years worth of journals at the flick of a switch...and I do this at least three times a week, more if I'm not busy. There are some great memories I want to hold on to and remember, but should I delete them anyway?
 
BlackPuma

BlackPuma

1
The past is as important as the future is. The trick is to let the future affect you as much as the past is now. Learn from your past to help you in the future, instead of letting it consume you.

Keep your video's, pictures and journals if you need to. But keep them for nostalgia, not guidance.
 
Honda

Honda

Well-known member
Man, life is like waay beyond the past you are talking about... I used to be like that and because i was obsessed in the past i ended up missing alot of things in life; if only i dropped that mentality earlier i would have more than what i got for the mean time.. Stop thinking the more you think the more you get a head ache plus life is a mystery nobody understands.. People build a path to make a meaning out of their lives you make your own and take responsibility for it..
 
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Feathers

Well-known member
I keep all of my journals, but I rarely look at them. Maybe put them on a CD or USB key you use rarely? Or rarely accessed shelf or attic storage, maybe in a box? (So that you can't access them so easily..)

About stuff you feel guilty about - how about if you make a list and write what you learnt from those experiences and what you can do better next time (or even now?) because of this?

Having all those problems in the past surely has made us wiser and stronger in a way - we survived it all, didn't we.. And we know we can survive similar things again.. I also looked for info in books on how to deal with certain situations (communication, relationships etc)

Maybe make a list of accomplishments too, if you haven't yet, and add to it daily/weekly?

Also, do you have one thing to look forward to each week? If not, maybe you can work on it?
 
superario

superario

Well-known member
I know what you mean. I have the same problem.

I hate disappointing people, and even the slightest criticism I take it to heart and never let it go. At random times of the day I'll just start thinking about some event, where someone said something, and even though it wasn't so negative or whatever, I just get so anxious and regretful and wonder if they've moved on and forgiven me for it. I don't know. Constantly I'm going back to my conversations and thinking, Oh man, I shouldn't have said that! And am afraid that I've hurt someone and just cannot stop thinking about it. Every little mistake, every little comment about me runs through my head and I hate it.

I'm going to agree with everyone here. The past will stop haunting you when you move forward. I know it's difficult. I struggle with it tremendously. Sometimes I get so worked up about a memory that I'll find my heart is beating fast and have to take a minute to calm myself and remember that this is over with and is a thing of the past. It's hard but you can do.

You just have to have something to look forward to.
 
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