Not good at thinking of exciting things to do

[recluse]

If i did have a girlfriend i think she would quickly get bored of me as i am not good at thinking of inventive things to do/places to go. I'm also not good at thinking of gifts to buy.

I know that women like to be suprised and i fear that i would not be able to provide this to her.

The same goes if i had friends, i just wouldn't know what/how to arrange things to do with them.

 

[Kinetik]

Having a girlfriend isn't about maintaining some sort of performance level. You don't have to be outgoing, exciting, romantic, and original all the time (or even very often). What you need to do is talk to enough different women so that you can eventually find one who gels with you completely and who is happy and comfortable with you as you are, flaws and all. There's no point in being with someone who is only satisfied with you as long as you're keeping up some tiring charade of bending over backwards to keep her happy.

As far as actual tangible activities go, don't sweat it. You can always decide on something together. And if you're not feeling creative in terms of thinking up a nice outing, say so. Similarly, if you're feeling lazy and don't want to go anywhere, go ahead and lay on the couch. But do it with conviction. You can get away with a lot so long as you are willing to own situations. We do live in a fairly gender-equal world these days, which means it's okay to let her do half the running. Women like a guy who's human and respects her enough to let her think and work a little as well.

 

[IGotSeoul]

Having a girlfriend isn't about maintaining some sort of performance level. You don't have to be outgoing, exciting, romantic, and original all the time (or even very often). What you need to do is talk to enough different women so that you can eventually find one who gels with you completely and who is happy and comfortable with you as you are, flaws and all. There's no point in being with someone who is only satisfied with you as long as you're keeping up some tiring charade of bending over backwards to keep her happy.

As far as actual tangible activities go, don't sweat it. You can always decide on something together. And if you're not feeling creative in terms of thinking up a nice outing, say so. Similarly, if you're feeling lazy and don't want to go anywhere, go ahead and lay on the couch. But do it with conviction. You can get away with a lot so long as you are willing to own situations. We do live in a fairly gender-equal world these days, which means it's okay to let her do half the running. Women like a guy who's human and respects her enough to let her think and work a little as well.

yes yes yes yes.

also, I laughed about 5 straight minutes at your signature

 

[recluse]

Hi, well i've never had a girlfriend so i'm pretty insecure and afraid of the unknown, i have no clue what it feels like to be in a relationship so i'm afraid that if/when i do i'll be clueless. It just seems to me from what i hear that most women are pretty demanding and if the guy doesn't seem to put much effort then they will ditch the guy.

I just feel i am a really boring guy because my life consists of routine and i don't really go out. Maybe i need an outgoing girl to drag me out but i can see a girl quickly getting bored at having to puch me to do things.

 

[Error]

I'm like you, but I think you have to first find a girlfriend and worry later. Sometimes we just worry too much.

 

[Hastings & Main]

It changes when you meet someone!
Having another personality in your life interplays with your own (yes, you do have one) and coaxes ideas out of you. You'll be surprised. You'll suddenly start thinking of places to go, things to show her, experiences you want to share with her. Outside forces prod our imagination. Books, movies, etc. and it's the same with people. They introduce new things into our lives.

As for women being pretty demanding, well, that depends on what your sources of information are. Not all women are 'like' anything: they're just individuals, like men.
You don't have to be a human amusement park to another person. Just be happy, humorous and outgoing. These things work their way out of you when you have the stimulus of another person liking you, trust me. Once you trust them, you relax, and that's when things start flowing.

Think of relationships like you do money.
You can't sit around your house wishing you had money, wondering why someone won't just leave a big bag of cash on your doorstep just to make it easier.
You have to get some skills, go out, and get to work to earn that money.
Same thing with people. Work on people-skills, experience will build.
How to get the skills? Research and practice. You don't answer an ad for an accounting job, hoping that by the time you walk into their offices the ability to balance books just pops into your head!
Take tips from this site, spend a few hours googling and taking notes. It's frustrating having to work on something that comes naturally to most other people, but that's why SPW and sites like it are here.

 

[lurknomore]

I'm the same way. Only forget exciting things, I can't think of anything to do. I guess I shouldn't worry about it too much, because I rarely have people that want to do things with me, no friends or social life. I think what does bother me is that I don't do anything on my own either... maybe that's part of why I don't have any kind of social circle or connections, I don't participate in activities that put me into other people's orbits, and even when I am around other people (like at work), I'm sure I'm just seen as being boring and not worth knowing anyway.

 

[popolala]

It changes when you meet someone!
Having another personality in your life interplays with your own (yes, you do have one) and coaxes ideas out of you. You'll be surprised. You'll suddenly start thinking of places to go, things to show her, experiences you want to share with her. Outside forces prod our imagination. Books, movies, etc. and it's the same with people. They introduce new things into our lives.

I agree

Love can make you do crazy things. If it doesnt, then maybe its not Love.

Its no good being shy in a relationship, best find a girl who you are really comfortable with, because most likely someone who your comfortable with, will bring the best out of you. i believe. because you wont afraid of being a fool.

What would make your life easier, is to not think of girls as girls.. but think of a girl as an individual with a personality that you look for in a woman, and thats your girl. not all girls the same.

I also agree with Kinetik

To be honest, i think girls like guys who critizie them.. because they like guys who are manly and isnt afraid of being in charge.
First they might get mad, and then they will start thinking about you, how much you get on her nervre and the more they think of you, they develop a crush.

 

[recluse]

I'm the same way. Only forget exciting things, I can't think of anything to do. I guess I shouldn't worry about it too much, because I rarely have people that want to do things with me, no friends or social life. I think what does bother me is that I don't do anything on my own either... maybe that's part of why I don't have any kind of social circle or connections, I don't participate in activities that put me into other people's orbits, and even when I am around other people (like at work), I'm sure I'm just seen as being boring and not worth knowing anyway.

I do have hobbies and i go to a gun club and karate class but i still feel somewhat isolated, like i don't really connect with anyone. I listen to others talk about how they went to such and such a place with their friends/partners and i feel jealous. I used to sometimes go to the cinema alone but the nearest god damn cinema is 60 miles away! It's not exactly inspiring having to drive 60 miles to watch a film! I have been on short breaks alone but i end up wishing i had someone to share the experience with.

Hey don't put yourself down! You are not boring and you are deffinately worth knowing.

 

[MollyBeGood]

If i did have a girlfriend i think she would quickly get bored of me as i am not good at thinking of inventive things to do/places to go. I'm also not good at thinking of gifts to buy.

I know that women like to be suprised and i fear that i would not be able to provide this to her.

The same goes if i had friends, i just wouldn't know what/how to arrange things to do with them.

Hi recluse,

as far as things to do I am not sure what's available in your area but going someplace for a nice long walk/talk is free and can be a great way to get to know someone. Then you have some idea of what she likes, say it's cats..buy her a stuffed animal of one. It's a thoughtful gift and she can cuddle with it and think of you, right? Flowers and candy are also very sweet and great surprises.

Friends at least mine like to do stuff outside like fishing and riding horses so that's what I suggest when I want to hang out with people here.