normal people dont take SA seriously

[Clown]

I just heard some proffesional talking about
social phobia on the radio....
and saw something about anxiety disorder on tv few months ago..
And its just makes me sick how they talk about it...
there is no seriousness about disorder..
like when somebody lost a leg then evertone: woh its must be though for you
great you making the best of it etc. etc. and feel for the person.
but when it comes to mental conditions like social phobia its just
a normal conversation with another label.. there is even no
will to try take it seriously
its not which words they choose but how they say it.

I suffer immense pain and many others and its got just make fun of it by the general people and not taken seriously by proffesionals ( some say its just extreme shyness...crap) someone has do something, it makes me sick all those caring people for sick people ( although its a good thing) and im on the edge of mental breakdown and made fun of as crazy and not taken seriously.

 

[9407]

People who never experienced it don't know what it feels like. When I was 12-13 years old and more immature than I am now, I used to make jokes about people that had mental illnesses. But now that I'm a sufferer now, I can sympathize with others who have it and understand why they might not want to do certain things. (going to crowded places, taking public transit, etc)

 

[Diend]

I wouldn't just wait for professionals to show compassion for SA sufferers. Some people disrespect SA because it's basically being cowardly. FMPOV, I think I have been a coward as an SA sufferer...when I couldnt make myself ask a fellow student for help. I would just sit there and wait it out. It was like being trapped in a box. The alternative I've tried is being utterly obnoxious in the classroom setting...as if social rules didn't apply to me. Then I could do what I needed to get help in class.

 

[Illusions]

That's how it is. A condescending doctor I brought it up to years back suggested that it was only shyness. Oh, and I mentioned SA in general to someone I was seeing whom I thought would understand but said person didn't even try to understand just how bad it was for some people (man, if I were to angrily rant about this dumbass I'd go on forever).

So I've given up trying to talk to anyone about it. It's unfortunate but there's really nothing much we can do. Humans are social animals after all. And it's always hard for people to relate when they haven't gone through it. You'd think more people would, with so many people calling themselves 'awkward' these days...

 

[MikeyC]

I've tried talking to my friends about my anxiety and they brush it off like it doesn't exist, too. Maybe it doesn't and it's all in my head, but that doesn't make it any better for me.

 

[recluse]

I've heard it all before by ignorant people;

''You're just shy!''

''You just need to go out and meet people''

''You need condfidence''

DUH!

 

[SelfHater]

These posts make me laugh. Not because I am cruel. Because I can relate.

I am in a good mood so for now I can laugh at these things.

No a "normal" can not understand SA. I can't understand why when the phone rings I have this sense of fear. I know this is irrational, but the same thing over again the next time that phone rings.

I can not take myself seriously, so why would somebody else that never experienced this take it seriously. Other than "hey that's messed up."

Oh well, back to hiding it the best I can.

 

[this_portrait]

While I find those who can't relate to be very ignorant, I can at least understand their perspectives, because they have never gone through what I go through. With those people, I try to act as "normal" as I can around them and not talk to them about my problems.

What I find sickening are those people who claim to relate to me (either because they have gone through SA or some other mental illness), yet they turn around and act completely unsympathetic to you if they make more improvement than you do. I've met a few people like that, who have told me things like, "You're not putting yourself out there enough." You would think that they would be more understanding of you if they can relate so much, but it's like they get a stick up their @$$ once they make improvements and act all condescending towards those who haven't improved as much as them.

 

[Invisibleman]

yes I agree and it pisses me off. Ive tried to explain it to a few people and they just say oh you're shy and you need to get out more. One of them was this guy whos incredibly intelligent and knows alot about phychology and whatnot. Thinking he would understand I was shocked when he told me "thats just a label,you're completely normal" "talk to people.problem solved" he said this in very arrogant tone like he didnt care.

 

[deleted #89]

I wish that for one day those " normal " people experience all the emotional and physical hurt that comes with SA.

 

[BrokenBird02]

I think it's because people don't understand that mental health is just as important as any other type of health. I meet a lot of people who have never been in my shoes but they talk about the anxiety as if it's nothing.

 

[cowboyup]

Oh, how I can relate to all the posts. My sister in law, who is a school counselor, asked why I feel this way because there really is no reason for me to feel "shy" "sad" "depressed" .... and she even poo poo'd the fact that my doctor said I was peri-menopausal and adrenal fatigue. "oh those doctors will say anything" -- or "they don't know anything"

Everyone seems to think that if I get out and get some fresh air or breathe and try to relax, or get out around people, or just shake it off, I'll be all better <said sarcastic>

No, nobody knows what this is like unless they walk in one's shoes. Just like heart disease, cancer, etc, I would NEVER wish this on anyone.

I was accused of hiding and a hermit just yesterday as a matter of fact.

 

[Nathália]

Well. I was just watching a video on youtube about Social Anxiety and someone left this comment.

"There is no such thing as Social anxiety, it is term created to sell pills. Social anxiety it is nothing than extreme shyness, is just shyness but extreme. Shyness has been proven to be genetic which is the main reason why all of you cannot get rid of your fake social anxiety, even if using pills. Can u improve extreme shyness? yes, can u get rid of it? Never, is genetic, ur predetermined to have it even before being born, you have to accept yourself for who you are even if u are shy"

What I said.

-_- wow. Social anxiety is not just extreem shyness first of all. Just because you have social anxiety that does not mean you are a shy person! A very popular and vibrant person can have Social anxiety. It is the OCD or Obsession of recurring thoughts from trauma that really hits home with SAD. Many people have SAD because they have other mental disorders also. I have ADHD and OCD and it plays a major role. Others have it because they feel unreal etc.

 

[MikeyC]

Good answer, Beleza. That guy obviously has no idea what he's talking about.

 

[gustavofring]

I think the problem is that SA is not something tangible, like not being able to walk, or some physical disease that really shows. Nor is it as extreme as for example schizophrenism. People without SA or shyness are generally more practically, visually, and result based. What they see in a direct way is what they interprete, and they can't seem to place yourself in your position because they've never experienced it. They also can't look into your brain. They only see your behavior, and there's a lot of misinterpretation of behavior.

However, I think that we shouldn't make it an "us-them" thing too much either. A lot of non SA people can be shy, or introverted too at times, or not looking forward to a social gathering. A lot more then we think. They just don't show it, and they've found good ways to cope with it or not care as much. Everyone has their own hurts.

I feel sometimes that there's too much antagonizing and blind labelling going on in these boards that will only further increase the social gap between SA-people and "normal" people.
Also don't forget that sometimes people who really want to help you, can say things that will hurt you, but atleast they're honest. They're simply trying to motivate you to do something about it. I've been called a non-achiever and a hermit too by someone in my family, but you know what, she's right. It is true that I need to change and if I was a person who knew 'me' and saw my situation I'd try and get myself to get out there and live too. However, we don't like being told what to do from others. That catharsis must come from within, and maybe has a lot to do with self-worth and self apreciation.

 

[theslowesthand]

yes I agree and it pisses me off. Ive tried to explain it to a few people and they just say oh you're shy and you need to get out more. One of them was this guy whos incredibly intelligent and knows alot about phychology and whatnot. Thinking he would understand I was shocked when he told me "thats just a label,you're completely normal" "talk to people.problem solved" he said this in very arrogant tone like he didnt care

But he's not a "rocket-scientist" though is he? (ie he's not a REAL expert in all things-SA, only WE are)

The following is an excerpt from a PM i sent recently to a member...
no. its not very practical advice (it "appears" as practical, but in practice for us, its not - but they dont know that) i guess they do their best with the very limited know-how they have about us). but its kinda like sby giving a concerned astronaut advice on how to get to the moon: 'its SIMPLE - you just do this: get a rocket, light it, and GO there!' (well-meaning, but VERY ignorant about the details/facts, & not thought-out hardly at all; ie its "feel-good" advice (or "rocket-ship" advice; or "self-serving advice"), not useful advice - it makes them feel good that they believe they are actually helping you .. but thats about all it does)

Another good excerpt...
Posted by (member)>>>people have always said 'just be yourself' but at the same time that i need to 'get out more'..the problem is, my natural self is quite boring and reclusive..and 'getting out more' is so against my nature that it feels strange and not enjoyable..so, are we doing a good thing by forcing us out more or are we just trying to change our natural, hermit like ways?..
My reply: ah yeah, those ol "gems". i think they dont realise that IT IS POSSIBLE to have a natural-self that is NOT "sociable", but they're thnking that we're just being "an egg". and even if they're aware that we ARE unsociable types, they STILL want us to be sociable/etc, and the reason being of course so THEY feel better, not us (ie its all shallow-thinking & me-me-me with those dummies). i think those phrases were invented so that people wouldnt have to think about what to say to people like us .. they can just mindlessly blurt it out, and hey presto - problem solved

"There is no such thing as Social anxiety, it is term created to sell pills. Social anxiety it is nothing than extreme shyness, is just shyness but extreme. Shyness has been proven to be genetic which is the main reason why all of you cannot get rid of your fake social anxiety, even if using pills. Can u improve extreme shyness? yes, can u get rid of it? Never, is genetic, ur predetermined to have it even before being born, you have to accept yourself for who you are even if u are shy"

The only thing that has some truth to it, is "Shyness has been proven to be genetic". And i think (could be wrong) that in most cases of SA, it is "built" on a base of associated genetic traits (worrying, anxious, shy, nervous, ..). But as said, it can also appear "out the blue", when said person (who hasn't got these base traits, experiences some major trauma)

 

[MollyBeGood]

I think it's because people don't understand that mental health is just as important as any other type of health. I meet a lot of people who have never been in my shoes but they talk about the anxiety as if it's nothing.

i agree. ignorance is bliss for a lot of humans as far as acknowledging people with adjustment disorders.