Normal Facial expression

[GettyAngel]

Hey guys im new to the forums so glad I'm not going through the anxiety alone

All my life family members and strangers have commented on my normal facial expression, it's been described as serious, angry, lost (I really don't get that), a frown and not cheerful. The sad thing is only up until last year when I realised I had social anxiety did I notice that people where right after seeing myself in mirrors and window reflections just that the whole time I was in denial and thought I looked content not all the things they said. Now I'm trying to make an effort not to look so serious or unhappy but it's not natural for me to walk around with a grin on my face for no reason, I've tried practicing in the mirror which worked for a while when friends noticed I was smiling a lot but then I always seem to go back to my normal expression.

Has any one else been told they need to smile more? Or had comments made about their normal facial expression especially in public?

 

[Phoenixx]

Welcome to the site, Getty!

Yeah I often get told I need to smile more too. Sure, I like to smile, but smiling all the time really isn't me at all. I'm told that most of the time my facial expression is either serious, angry, or I look like I'm bored. It sometimes gets to me when people tell me about my facial expression, but I try not to even worry about it. I'm getting to the point where I've heard it enough and I don't really care.

 

[Paahi]

Hi Getty!
People say i look sad. But I am not happy enough to go around smiling all the time.
The few times I have tried to smile a little, I get comments how I go around with this weird smile on my face.
I dont bother anymore.

 

[Panther]

hey yh i think sometimes people mistake me for being rude, i must look miserable but it seems weird to jus smile for no reason.

 

[Panther]

oh yh apparently i have a creepy chucky smile lol

 

[coyote]

Hi, and welcome to the forum.

things are just the opposite for me

i'm one of those people who smiles or laughs when they're nervous - which is alot

so some people mistakenly believe I'm not capable of taking anything seriously

 

[sucettes]

One of my dads friends had once asked him;

"Why does your daughter never smile?"

And then my dad came up to me and told me that I needed to smile more... So basically he wanted me to fake it and pretend everything was good? This happened when I had a very deep depression and I certainly had nothing to smile about. This really pissed me off.

 

[alspacka]

Hi Getty, and welcome to spw.

People sometimes asked me if I was on drugs... I guess I must have looked/behaved very apathetic.

It's a lot better now that my depression has cleared, although I do somewhat have the same problem coyote has, I start smiling in awkward situations.

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

Hello there Getty, welcome to the forums

I can relate to your situation very well. My face is always tense in public because of my anxiety and it makes me look pissed off or serious all the time, even if I feel that I have on a normal expression, or at least what I consider to be my "normal" expression.

The moment I became aware of this the most was during last year's trip to Vegas. We were walking towards Treasure Island and there was a man dressed up like Jack Sparrow just to be funny and I was walking past him, minding my own business and he said "Hello" to me and I said it back to him in a tone I believed to be friendly but I guess it didn't seem that way to him and he said "You know, it's not against the law to smile in Vegas." That really left me stumped because I felt like I had a normal expression on my face but I guess that I was so tense with anxiety at the time that I looked serious even with a seemingly normal expression.

It's really frustrating...

 

[Starchild]

I haven't gotten any comments about it, but I have realized on quite a few occasions that I might plan on being nice and smiling when speaking with someone, for example if I'm at the store and someone starts to small talk with me, I end up not smiling at all... And I must look really grumpy and cold, when in fact I really wish I'd actually remember to smile and look friendly. It's just that when I'm actually talking to people I'm too focused on looking ok and not saying something too stupid I just completely forget about my body language.

It's like:
"Ok, if someone starts to talk with me now, I'll smile and be nice. Remember!"
- Wow, it's really rainy today, huh?
- Yup. -.-
- Heh, hope I won't need a boat!
- Yeah, hopefully not... -.-
- Here we go! Have a nice day.
- Bye, you too. -.-
"... CRAP."

 

[ridicule]

Facial expressions are all about control. Literally by their definition, it's how people around you immediately interpret your state of mind and I'm always cognitive of that fact. In general, the angry, glum, serious, sad expression usually conveys a "go away", so that's why I wear it all the time. Is it the same for the rest of you?

 

[<ladybug>]

I cant even count how many times that this has been said to me...i cant control how my face looks when it's relaxed. I've even been told this at work from a few people....even human resources. Sorry i'm just not a giddy person. I make sure i am always polite though.

 

[fitftw]

people always tell me I look like someone shot my dog. I just have this look of loss and hopelessness on me.

 

[Falkor]

People tell me 'I have a lot of anger and sadness in my eyes'
People also notice, I'm anxious, because of my facial expression.

I was sitting at the beach, and someone said 'Why you look so pissed'
I said, I am not! I am just feeling well and enjoy it here.
So, I guess I just have a stupid expression on my face, I don't know how to change it (However, I felt extremely self hatred by that comment, because I don't know how to fake a smile) I notice, I always look very serious, so-be my normal facial expression.

I'm always afraid I don't look happy,friendly or that i'm interesting.
I just look so weird and odd, my face is especially triggering my anxiety because my facial expression is so tensed around people, that I get crazy by thoughts and feel like I mess it up, only when it comes to not ' looking good in gestures and facial movements ' I'm so darn obsessed about being self concious, I am too self focussed in situations because I cannot help worrying about how I 'should not be anxious' So I don't know what the heck is wrong with me.
Anyways, this topic described one of my main issues. Also, Eye contact.

 

[Seri]

When I was in high school I used to get told that I looked like I was in a bad mood if say someone saw me walking home. To me this was just my normal expression, though I would often be looking down because of the sun which just emphasized the impression others seemed to have.

Since then I decided to try and relax my face a little more, I find a smile comes naturally even if I don't mean or feel it (kinda like a defense mechanism). I make sure my eyebrows are raised slightly and always try to keep a small smile or upturn to my lips, so even though it doesn't look like I'm smiling it doesn't look like a negative emotion either.

One thing with smiles is they're very good for putting people at ease, and if people are less likely to react in a hostile or negative manner to you then it can certainly help your anxiety a bit too. It also means people won't bug you constantly about not being happy.