No where left to turn
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Hero
Well-known member
Hi, I like your name. It sums up my childhood 
May I ask how old you are?
I have been a pawn at the Jobcentre before. Isn't it demeaning the way the staff look you up and down? You see the chavs there and you think to yourself, "What am i doing here?"
Get out there. Get hobbies. I'm doing jogging and swimming. They keep my mind off things. Also, build a plan of all the things you need to do that will enable you to be happy and live a fulfilled life, and tick things off as you complete them. Once you feel organised and busy, things won't seem so bad, promise.
Good luck.
May I ask how old you are?
I have been a pawn at the Jobcentre before. Isn't it demeaning the way the staff look you up and down? You see the chavs there and you think to yourself, "What am i doing here?"
Get out there. Get hobbies. I'm doing jogging and swimming. They keep my mind off things. Also, build a plan of all the things you need to do that will enable you to be happy and live a fulfilled life, and tick things off as you complete them. Once you feel organised and busy, things won't seem so bad, promise.
Good luck.
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Don't compare yourself to others. It really doesn't matter how much they have achieved. It doesn't mean they're higher up the life ladder or whatever since there is no such thing.
The other thing is that you've noticed it's not a good thing to be alone for a long time. Why not get back in touch with your friends? You must have someone you can confide in. And you can always go back to university if you want. It's also a great way to get to know people without them pre-judging you first because they won't know anyone else there either. A lot of universities also offer counselling/workshops too. But if uni is not what you want, I would recommend seeing a counsellor anyway if you're willing to accept their help.
It's ok to change little by little. Don't be afraid to get out of your comfort zone.
The other thing is that you've noticed it's not a good thing to be alone for a long time. Why not get back in touch with your friends? You must have someone you can confide in. And you can always go back to university if you want. It's also a great way to get to know people without them pre-judging you first because they won't know anyone else there either. A lot of universities also offer counselling/workshops too. But if uni is not what you want, I would recommend seeing a counsellor anyway if you're willing to accept their help.
It's ok to change little by little. Don't be afraid to get out of your comfort zone.
upndwn
Well-known member
This has been the story of my life. I've been on and off different medication for years. Some work some don't. It takes a long time to figure out when it does or not, usually several months of stepping up the dosage to see if it works. Then several months stepping down when they don't. Suddenly a year has passed and I haven't been able to do anything constructive because the constant ups and downs has kept me in a paralytic state.
I've finally found some medication that seems to work, but it has taken me three years to get there. Suddenly I face having to go back into the real world and getting back to school and work. It scares the living crap out of me, but I know once I go there things will light up.
I'm really trying to turn my life around. I've started to exercise and I'm more social than ever. I'm really starting to see some kind of light at the end of the tunnel, but this is me talking in an up period. Just a week ago I had a down period and just wanted to die. Luckily my meds help stabilize my mood swings, but I still have them occasionally.
My advice; Get help immediately. Sitting at home doing nothing only makes things worse. Yes it's risky to start taking medication, but without taking risks you'll get nowhere. Anyway, the alternative is much worse.
I've finally found some medication that seems to work, but it has taken me three years to get there. Suddenly I face having to go back into the real world and getting back to school and work. It scares the living crap out of me, but I know once I go there things will light up.
I'm really trying to turn my life around. I've started to exercise and I'm more social than ever. I'm really starting to see some kind of light at the end of the tunnel, but this is me talking in an up period. Just a week ago I had a down period and just wanted to die. Luckily my meds help stabilize my mood swings, but I still have them occasionally.
My advice; Get help immediately. Sitting at home doing nothing only makes things worse. Yes it's risky to start taking medication, but without taking risks you'll get nowhere. Anyway, the alternative is much worse.
Mickery
Well-known member
I share your situation to a great degree, I just started seeing someone about the problem (among quite a few others!) and will try to pass on what I learn.
I'd be a little wary of not comparing yourself at all. It's not healthy to do in the extreme but as you say, there's a certain cushiness about maintaining your situation. For me, comparing myself to others was one of the factors that made me break it. I eventually became/felt so inferior that I snapped and was almost forced to do something about it. My concern about anti-depressants is that in a perverse way, they'll make me feel better and take away my need to improve.
The motivation of seeing someone regularly about it and having to report back what you're doing helps kick you out of the apathy as well. If you've gotta be there same time next week, you can't easily avoid it in the meantime.
This is the first time I've heard from someone who seems to represent something similar to myself, so I'm all ears for others to share anything that's on their mind.
I'd be a little wary of not comparing yourself at all. It's not healthy to do in the extreme but as you say, there's a certain cushiness about maintaining your situation. For me, comparing myself to others was one of the factors that made me break it. I eventually became/felt so inferior that I snapped and was almost forced to do something about it. My concern about anti-depressants is that in a perverse way, they'll make me feel better and take away my need to improve.
The motivation of seeing someone regularly about it and having to report back what you're doing helps kick you out of the apathy as well. If you've gotta be there same time next week, you can't easily avoid it in the meantime.
This is the first time I've heard from someone who seems to represent something similar to myself, so I'm all ears for others to share anything that's on their mind.
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Pacific_Loner
Pirate from the North Pole
^Wise you are, old man
Nanita
Well-known member
I so understand. I stopped doing greater things yeeeears ago.
I compare myself to people I grew up with or met along the way, they all have interesting fullfilling lives/jobs/hobbies/social life. It makes me feel embarrased and pathetic, like I should just dissapear totally, that´s the best option.
But actually the last couple of years I haven´t compared myself to others as much as I used to. I try to remind myself why I haven´t done things that I would have liked to do. I remind myself that it´s because I´m sensitive and had a difficult childhood, Maybe the way I am as an adult, is a reaction to everything that happened to me as a child.
I am in my comfort zone most of the time, but I also do things that are a little challenging. And this is probably an advice I will give to you; do things that take you out of the comfort zone a little, not too challenging or scary though.
I compare myself to people I grew up with or met along the way, they all have interesting fullfilling lives/jobs/hobbies/social life. It makes me feel embarrased and pathetic, like I should just dissapear totally, that´s the best option.
But actually the last couple of years I haven´t compared myself to others as much as I used to. I try to remind myself why I haven´t done things that I would have liked to do. I remind myself that it´s because I´m sensitive and had a difficult childhood, Maybe the way I am as an adult, is a reaction to everything that happened to me as a child.
I am in my comfort zone most of the time, but I also do things that are a little challenging. And this is probably an advice I will give to you; do things that take you out of the comfort zone a little, not too challenging or scary though.
Conspiracy
Well-known member
Wouldn't it be great to have a perfect world of your own where you can have everything that you want?