No more negativity on this forum

[lyricalliaisons]

A lot of people come here to get things out of their system. Negative things that they're feeling but can't express in real life. So preventing people from expressing the negative feelings they're feeling on here is only going to cause a lot of people to stop posting.

If someone doesn't like to read negative posts, they don't have to read them. I've written a lot of negative posts on here & if anyone has a problem with them, it's they're fault for reading them because no one said they had to.

 

[Hellhound]

Sorry, but I disagree. This may well be the only outlet some people have for how they are really feeling. Who are we to deny them that?

Exactly.

We already have real life for fake smiles. What's the point of joining a support site if you can't talk about your problems?

And about all these troubled people... Do you think they're negative because they want to? You can't tell a person with a mental issue, or someone who's going through a rough time to just stop being negative and be happy. If it was that easy, this site wouldn't exist. If you want people to feel better, support them, befriend them, make a funny thread to try to cheer them up, but don't tell them to just snap out of it. You are in the same situation as us, you know it's not that easy, right?

I understand what you mean though, that reading negative posts on a daily basis can be too much. But you are around people with problems, you can't expect to find too many happy posts.

 

[coyote]

dont belive a word he says coyotes makin it all up

now that just hurts,....really

 

[Liberty]

I don't want to sound like I'm saying you should "just snap out of it". I know that isn't realistic. But every time you want to come here and release some negativity on the forum because you feel negative about something just pause for a second and think. There are two ways of looking at things, you have a choice. There are positive things too. Seeing everything through a negative lens as if it's your only way to view life is part of the illness. That's why everyone feels negative about everything.

I mean in the midst of so much trouble in the global economy right now we have a guy complaining about doing a great interview and getting an awesome high-paying job. In 99.9% of other forums that would be a moment of triumph and exhilaration but here we are stuck trying to cheer this guy up.

That's proof that we'll see everything as negative no matter what it is. And I also think it's much more important to foster an atmosphere of positivity than to have a place to talk about our negative feelings. Making others who already are struggling with negativity bear that weight is not fair.

I am guilty of it too but it's something I think we should all focus on together.

 

[Pookah]

It is just not realistic. I think you know why. So this is rather useless and unhelpful.

This forum is a revolving door for most members with less regular members than sporadic ones. People aren't going to come to a site about anxiety with happy thoughts, they are going to be about anxiety. Which in and of itself is a negative thing. You might as well change the forum name to "look on the brightside!!" but most of us don't see the bright side and it helps to have others point it out.

You will see a success story every once in a while, but if we were all able to be positive this forum would be a ghost town.

So this pov is moot.

 

[Liberty]

It is just not realistic. I think you know why. So this is rather useless and unhelpful.

This forum is a revolving door for most members with less regular members than sporadic ones. People aren't going to come to a site about anxiety with happy thoughts, they are going to be about anxiety. Which in and of itself is a negative thing. You might as well change the forum name to "look on the brightside!!" but most of us don't see the bright side and it helps to have others point it out.

You will see a success story every once in a while, but if we were all able to be positive this forum would be a ghost town.

So this pov is moot.

I don't think it would necessarily. I've been fighting to be positive for a while now and I still have anxiety and feel fear when I see people. It's still there and I still have the problem. But coming to this site and reading down the list of threads is pretty shocking and painful.

Just imagine the effect we'd have if all the long-time sufferers here fought to stay positive and keep this forum positive. It would be a great clash between the overwhelming negativity that new members will bring and the positivity that we fight to maintain. And it would actually help people.

Coming here to complain to each other about how much everything in all our lives sucks certainly doesn't seem to be helping.

 

[Pookah]

This is human nature. It is rather basic. I think you are still failing to recognize the site for what it is. Go forth and post these so called positive threads. Remember, though, that this is the internet.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

I don't think it would necessarily. I've been fighting to be positive for a while now and I still have anxiety and feel fear when I see people. It's still there and I still have the problem. But coming to this site and reading down the list of threads is pretty shocking and painful.

Just imagine the effect we'd have if all the long-time sufferers here fought to stay positive and keep this forum positive. It would be a great clash between the overwhelming negativity that new members will bring and the positivity that we fight to maintain. And it would actually help people.

Coming here to complain to each other about how much everything in all our lives sucks certainly doesn't seem to be helping.

I'm not so sure this is true.

Giving new members the impression that everyone else is having wonderful positive experiences of life may actually make them feel worse. Reading the negative experiences, thoughts and feelings of others and realising that you're not the only one who feels that way can in itself be helpful.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Seriously guys. We need to stop this. No more...

-I hate life
-I need to vent
-I'm so scared
-What do I do I just got a great high-paying job in a global recession, should I freak out?!
-Will anyone ever love me?
-I failed again
-Women hate me
-I have no friends and I never will
-etc. etc. etc.

Who wants to read this crap all day? Negativity is part of the illness. We are just proving that we can't control it by posting all this depressing crap. And the people here are obviously all struggling with negativity about their own lives and it's probably extremely draining to try to be uplifting to other people. Seriously, no more negative crap on this forum. It does no one any good. Say something positive or nice or don't say anything. It goes for me as well.

# Of times a poster has started a thread in a forum addressing the population at large and declaring that everyone is doing it wrong and needs to change:

A lot.

# Of times said poster has succeeded in affecting such a change, in any forum, ever, in the history of the internet:

0.

Making a royal decree must be fun though, because people do keep doing it.

 

[Liberty]

I'm not so sure this is true.

Giving new members the impression that everyone else is having wonderful positive experiences of life may actually make them feel worse. Reading the negative experiences, thoughts and feelings of others and realising that you're not the only one who feels that way can in itself be helpful.

Yeah maybe. I mean being able to relate to others and realizing you aren't alone is important. I agree. But it is seriously in overdrive on this forum. There's no room for a positive outlook at all.

I mean how about threads like this:

-I've been struggling very hard for a long time but today I achieved a goal I had set out to do even though it was hard and I didn't think I could do it

-I had a setback today and I feel bad about it but there will be new opportunities tomorrow

-I'm very sad right now because my gf/bf broke up with me and said some mean things about me but I realize now that this person was not good for my life anyway. Even though I'm going to feel bad for a while I will get over it and I know it's for the best

 

[KiaKaha]

Well I share many of the sentiments outlined in this thread. People NEED to vent, even if its online, I cant think of any other place where strangers can meet and talk openly about how they feel. I am sure that if any of us started talking about how frustrated/anxious or lonely we are to people in the real world, others would only misunderstand or show a degree of indifference. Here we can be ourselves...and that is invaluable to our healing.

 

[Wishmaster]

One of the things I love about this forum is we can all relate with each other on similar issues. There are no barriers on here. Venting is good. Everybody is free to express their selves without being judged for the most part. Sure, we need to be positive and uplifting to each other. I see that though in the "depressing" threads that you don't like. How are we supposed to ever get better if we bottle all of our feelings up inside of us? Everybody needs someone to listen to their issues. For most of us there aren't many other places to talk about our social phobia other than here.

 

[BlackPuma]

I don't think that would work out very well. This is a support site, if we were to stop posting negative threads, we would stop reaching out for support. Essentially this site would be turned into a general social forum.

Complaining can be therapeutic and releaving at times. People need to feel free to tell and post anything they like/need without feeling that they're being judged for it. I'd like to suggest that you simply skip the negative threads/posts if you're not up for it at that time. I do. :3

Many here go through a long phase of complaining before they decide to make their life's better. Let them complain, scream, cry and share if they need to. Inner strength comes from a source, give them time to find that source. Because without this source, they will not be motivated to change. And without motivation, we're nowhere.

Encouraging them case-by-case to do and see things differently is better then telling them what not-to-do. ;3

 

[guessed]

Liberty,

It's clear you have good intentions but your way of going about it is misguided.

Pointing out the negativity of others is just feeding into it yourself. Give others the freedom to deal with their own issues the way they need to.

The best way you can be positive is to be an example for others. They will see how good you feel and be inspired to change.

 

[Pookah]

Yeah maybe. I mean being able to relate to others and realizing you aren't alone is important. I agree. But it is seriously in overdrive on this forum. There's no room for a positive outlook at all.

I mean how about threads like this:

-I've been struggling very hard for a long time but today I achieved a goal I had set out to do even though it was hard and I didn't think I could do it

-I had a setback today and I feel bad about it but there will be new opportunities tomorrow

-I'm very sad right now because my gf/bf broke up with me and said some mean things about me but I realize now that this person was not good for my life anyway. Even though I'm going to feel bad for a while I will get over it and I know it's for the best

You are basically just asking for people to post negative things and think of a positive spin. If we look at your last example, most people will not be at the stage where they will look at the bright side of ending a relationship. How can you seriously be asking someone going through pain like that to cheer up and try to find the silver lining? I don't believe for one second you are like that. You may bottle up the feelings, but that is vastly more unhealthy than venting them.

 

[Hellhound]

Yeah maybe. I mean being able to relate to others and realizing you aren't alone is important. I agree. But it is seriously in overdrive on this forum. There's no room for a positive outlook at all.

I mean how about threads like this:

-I've been struggling very hard for a long time but today I achieved a goal I had set out to do even though it was hard and I didn't think I could do it

-I had a setback today and I feel bad about it but there will be new opportunities tomorrow

-I'm very sad right now because my gf/bf broke up with me and said some mean things about me but I realize now that this person was not good for my life anyway. Even though I'm going to feel bad for a while I will get over it and I know it's for the best

I know what you mean... but for some people it's not easy to do that, especially when you're dealing with mental issues (and when these things get pretty severe, it's almost impossible to see a positive side, so you have to consider the severity of their problems too). And remember that some of them are dealing with this alone, because they don't have supportive, understanding families or friends outside the internet, that makes the situation much worse. What it would be good is that, if you see a negative thread, try to help the person in question. Talk to them. Be their friend maybe? That could be a big help, you know?.

And I must add... some things are too painful to just cheer up and see the bright side. For example, a break up is not something you can just get over with. Try to keep that in mind, please.

 

[Ritta]

I've read most of the replies and have to agree with a few things and disagree with another ones.

Liberty, I've noticed that there's been a lot of depressive threads lately and I understand those can make anyone feel really depressed themselves. Then again you have the choice to read or not read them. I'm sure you can tell from the titles what they're about. People who are hurting, feel the need to vent and that's a good thing. Keeping it all inside is bad.

There are plenty of good threads that are funny and uplifting. I'd suggest you scroll down a bit and check out the "Off Topic" threads every day. I specially like the one Mrb started about puppies

There's another a gamers thread and Pookah's food pictures. See, not all are sad threads. The happy ones may not be that easy to find, but they're there.

Here, I'll post a link to the puppies one. I hope it'll make you and everyone else smile

http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/who-loves-puppies-27385/

 

[sevenroses]

I guess some can't really help it because its just the pain talking. I think it's important to vent out especially to someone who cares and vice versa. You get a great feeling after doing that.

 

[coyote]

"My life sucks, and I'm a loser. What can I do?"

"I know how you feel. I've felt that way, too. Maybe you are depressed and not seeing things clearly. Try to look at the positive things you have going for you. Maybe it'll help."

"YEAH, BUT.... you don't get it! MY life really sucks! I really AM a loser! Your advice won't work! Screw you!"

*sigh*

It's not the negativity I see here here that frustrates me....

It's all the "YEAH BUTs."

 

[Liberty]

Ok maybe the relationship break-up one was a bad example.

I mean look at the front page now. "What a pointless life". That doesn't bother anyone else reading that? You get up and go to work, THAT IS GOOD. You have a job, that is a great thing. Now stop complaining and dragging everyone else down.