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- Thread starter Sial Axetder
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Situation. May be long, sorry.
Wedding, brother's. During the first portion, marriage, fine okay, people quiet and don't speak. The event following it, people toast, what is this event called? Still okay. When people start drinking, dancing, *talking*, too many, too much. Avoidance, exit. I want exit. I don't want to stay. No part of me wants to stay. Exit blocked by smokers, not fun they talk, too. Finally exited, few people outside, talk, I answer something. Night, cool, freedom.
What to do better in that situation?
Wedding, brother's. During the first portion, marriage, fine okay, people quiet and don't speak. The event following it, people toast, what is this event called? Still okay. When people start drinking, dancing, *talking*, too many, too much. Avoidance, exit. I want exit. I don't want to stay. No part of me wants to stay. Exit blocked by smokers, not fun they talk, too. Finally exited, few people outside, talk, I answer something. Night, cool, freedom.
What to do better in that situation?
I think you handled the situation well... you were there for your brother.
Like I've said, over the course of the day, there are things YOU wouldn't mind doing.
Can even be something as simple as ordering a coffee.
Start small build up your confidence.
Darryl
will do. Your advice is good. It is on me now to do what is needed. Anything you may need help with let me know. Although I believe you are well beyond the help I can offer. Keep the good work going.
Tea. It was excellent. Steeped, two sugars.
No, no. I flipped the switch, back of the head.
At least its the best way to describe it. After that, I have been able to do more. The so-called switch is working better.
I have recently spoken with a bell tech and phone tech in one day. Went well. I think.
I unfortunately fell into a familiar emotion. Stronger. You have described it. I have finally felt it full force. Anger and frustration towards another, undeserving. A mystery hate. Keep it in, locked. Next day, fine, same person, no mystery hate. What is that?
That's Mr AvPD trying to get back into your life!
Your threshold to frustration will build up with more things you do for your self.
These days I get frustrated at myself if I give in to Avoidance.
It's all about controlling Avpd....Flicking the switch will allow you to do that.
I found as you will by not holding back and experiencing things, you will have something to talk about.
Kind regards Darryl
Your threshold to frustration will build up with more things you do for your self.
These days I get frustrated at myself if I give in to Avoidance.
It's all about controlling Avpd....Flicking the switch will allow you to do that.
I found as you will by not holding back and experiencing things, you will have something to talk about.
Kind regards Darryl
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It is because I want to shut away, back down the dark pit, I get frustrated for no reason? To possibly push a person or more away? How strange.
Build up your threshold, feel the avoidance and flick the switch.
The frustration comes from the anxeity rush of going outside your usual boundrys.
Give your self cred, you have been able to reconize Avpd and do the opposite.
Isn't that giving you to upper hand?
I never knew what I had to do next, I pushed people away to keep my life simple.
I never had control over my life, I never had direction.
Flicking the switch is the way to get some stability in your life and yes you will sometimes fall and when you do, you won't be starting at the bottom again.
Regards Darryl
The frustration comes from the anxeity rush of going outside your usual boundrys.
Give your self cred, you have been able to reconize Avpd and do the opposite.
Isn't that giving you to upper hand?
I never knew what I had to do next, I pushed people away to keep my life simple.
I never had control over my life, I never had direction.
Flicking the switch is the way to get some stability in your life and yes you will sometimes fall and when you do, you won't be starting at the bottom again.
Regards Darryl
An anxeity rush, eh. Those will cause head to plow into a train. Now. Exedrin helps, x2.
Person just riding stationary bike, why are they annoying me? It needs to go, head feels tense, having to untense. No thoughts just annoyance. I - don't - know - this person.
Feeling there is something else here ... possibly? Maybe? Do not want to say it. I think I know.
Lighter tone: You help me, is there anything I can offer in return?
Person just riding stationary bike, why are they annoying me? It needs to go, head feels tense, having to untense. No thoughts just annoyance. I - don't - know - this person.
Feeling there is something else here ... possibly? Maybe? Do not want to say it. I think I know.
Lighter tone: You help me, is there anything I can offer in return?
Yes it is emotions. Some I understand, some I do not. I admit. Sorry, rather irritated mood as of yet. Calm. What I don't understand, if it is just emotions, why someone using a stationary bike annoys me. I would never do any harm, couldn't. And still is annoying, mystery hate. Nothing about that should be wrong. To me or otherwise.
Is it as simple a fact that somewhere I want to talk with the person but cannot ... will not talk? I need something, for now, to grasp on to. To bring back to reality. To save me from me. When this happens. I think.
Is it as simple a fact that somewhere I want to talk with the person but cannot ... will not talk? I need something, for now, to grasp on to. To bring back to reality. To save me from me. When this happens. I think.
CosmicNeurotica
Banned
Is this about what others say behind your back?
Cause if it is, I have that problem too. I don't think any of us want to know what others say about us when we can't hear.
I think that's a root of my paranoia, and I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but it gets in my head and sticks.
I just still lack the confidence. Guidance. Experience.
Cause if it is, I have that problem too. I don't think any of us want to know what others say about us when we can't hear.
I think that's a root of my paranoia, and I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but it gets in my head and sticks.
I just still lack the confidence. Guidance. Experience.
It's a by product of Avpd.
If that same person on the bike fell and was hurt bad, you would run to his aid.
You would immediately drop the anger (avpd) and take necessary steps.
Worrying about anger won't get you anywhere, no postive steps.
It's too confusing and a waste of time.
Seriously, this is a forward step and things that used to irritate you, won't mean so much.
You coined the phase "flick the switch', and were able to get some you time in.
Regards Darryl
If that same person on the bike fell and was hurt bad, you would run to his aid.
You would immediately drop the anger (avpd) and take necessary steps.
Worrying about anger won't get you anywhere, no postive steps.
It's too confusing and a waste of time.
Seriously, this is a forward step and things that used to irritate you, won't mean so much.
You coined the phase "flick the switch', and were able to get some you time in.
Regards Darryl
Not entirely. Though I do wonder more often than one should. Having Avoidant behavior through my younger years brought this on. Paranoid, no doubt. It is hard not to let it bother. I, too, lack those three -CGE.
Darryl, you are correct, again. Funny little world isn't it. Someone annoys you so much, doing nothing to annoy, yet if harm to come thier way something else leads the way.
Anger for nothing = head hit by train, derailment. Today is better, no mystery hate. Although workout time is not social time, those three kept talking. Thanking iPod.
What comes after my hatered for change is gone?
Interesting thread.
About social situations where one is just one - happened to a friend, she met her boyfriend that way! (He approached her, they talked, she told him her friend didn't show up..) Another girl told me she was 'out' alone and simply told some people she met (females included) that she got lost from her 'crew' or something like that.. Happens all the time anyway.. And she was with these friendly new people then..
I've never dared to go 'out' alone, maybe if I was a guy I would.. A friend went if she knew other people she knew would be there.. Maybe I went to the movies or a daylight event where one could get lost in the crowd... Maybe you can start talking to someone who also looks a little bit lost and friendly?
As for weddings /sigh/ I don't like drinking or smoking either. So if there was a wedding where this wasn't happening, it was nice to talk to some friendly young people who also looked single, or to any friends or relatives.. Or dance, if the music was any good..
Have a bit of wedding phobia too...
About the mystery hate - that's an interesting question. I can get it too, but usually it's sort of overreacting to something that seems really minor.
I get easily distracted too and have hyperacusis (hypersensitivity/collapsed tolerance to noise) So I can react to someone's tone of voice which wouldn't bother someone else (or especially someone who doesn't have good hearing..) Talking or noise in places that would require concentration bother me too.. So maybe you could sort of make a list of trigger situations?
Maybe that person or event/situation reminds you of another too... And amygdala (small part in brain) can jump to conclusions and overreact?
Exercise/running/energized workout can dissipate the anger.. yup.. Or overnight (sleep) or eating something (ideally 'relax' food with anti-stress minerals) Brain recuperates and restores..?
What comes after my hatered for change is gone?
Don't really know what you mean with this-?
About social situations where one is just one - happened to a friend, she met her boyfriend that way! (He approached her, they talked, she told him her friend didn't show up..) Another girl told me she was 'out' alone and simply told some people she met (females included) that she got lost from her 'crew' or something like that.. Happens all the time anyway.. And she was with these friendly new people then..
I've never dared to go 'out' alone, maybe if I was a guy I would.. A friend went if she knew other people she knew would be there.. Maybe I went to the movies or a daylight event where one could get lost in the crowd... Maybe you can start talking to someone who also looks a little bit lost and friendly?
As for weddings /sigh/ I don't like drinking or smoking either. So if there was a wedding where this wasn't happening, it was nice to talk to some friendly young people who also looked single, or to any friends or relatives.. Or dance, if the music was any good..
Have a bit of wedding phobia too...
About the mystery hate - that's an interesting question. I can get it too, but usually it's sort of overreacting to something that seems really minor.
I get easily distracted too and have hyperacusis (hypersensitivity/collapsed tolerance to noise) So I can react to someone's tone of voice which wouldn't bother someone else (or especially someone who doesn't have good hearing..) Talking or noise in places that would require concentration bother me too.. So maybe you could sort of make a list of trigger situations?
Maybe that person or event/situation reminds you of another too... And amygdala (small part in brain) can jump to conclusions and overreact?
Exercise/running/energized workout can dissipate the anger.. yup.. Or overnight (sleep) or eating something (ideally 'relax' food with anti-stress minerals) Brain recuperates and restores..?
What comes after my hatered for change is gone?
Don't really know what you mean with this-?
Carefull Sial Axetder you sound happy!?!
Maybe a few answers to your problems and your in a different frame of mine?
The mystery hatered comes from AVPD... simple.
Make your own decisions, find that your attention is spent on improving you- not wishing the wheel fell off their bike (oops, did I say that out loud?)
Maybe a few answers to your problems and your in a different frame of mine?
The mystery hatered comes from AVPD... simple.
Make your own decisions, find that your attention is spent on improving you- not wishing the wheel fell off their bike (oops, did I say that out loud?)
Do I? Wait, did I? Truthfully I do not recall. I have reread my post. When angered/annoyed, writting does perhaps change. Quicker, less understandable. Feel it best to extract. Than before, keep in, implode.
Different frame of mind. Answers, many years have gone without. Different. No idea on how to react. Personal Statement: Family strength is to show nothing.
Finally. It is said. Decision or I choose Choice. I make my own choice and it is my choice.
How dreadfully wrong it is to think that wheel should fall off. Comical, yes it would be. Then I had have to rush over and see if okay. Blast!