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[Sial Axetder]

Interesting thread.

What comes after my hatered for change is gone?
Don't really know what you mean with this-?

Feathers, why Feathers?

Interesting thread? I know, I made it. I am just that interesting. No, I joke.

You had quite a lot to say. I am uncertain how to answer. I will try.

I have not helped others who may be potentially lost, I have not seen them. Eye contact, you see, is not my strong point. Though watching one talking down to me is rather fun to see back off when displaying nothing.

- found it. I can see it. Interesting.

Weddings would just be the expected boring, no, someone must speak to you. I sit, quiet, you sit, quiet. All okay. We must accept what it is and move on.

Collapsed tolerance for noise. The use of that word here, collapsed instead of low. A low tolerance to noice. Well done, descriptive. I strive to use different and unique words to the normal. I think due to undiagnosed schizotypal. Most do not understand - ignored.

The brain, not my understanding. I know I am there, somewhere. Overreact, yes I do.


Exercise/running/energized workout can dissipate the anger.. yup.. Or overnight (sleep) or eating something (ideally 'relax' food with anti-stress minerals) Brain recuperates and restores..? --> Yes.

I don't know what I meant by it either. Seemed right to say then, there it is.

Enjoy.

 

[CosmicNeurotica]

Are you sure you aren't Mordin from Mass Effect 2?
That's a compliment by the way. And also I play too many video games.

 

[Sial Axetder]

Are you sure you aren't Mordin from Mass Effect 2?
That's a compliment by the way. And also I play too many video games.

ME 2, enjoy it. Although ATI or Intel, not sure which, WHEA-Logger (ID 17) logged too many times in EV game will evenutally crash. ME1 and ME2 - Renegade. Fun times.

Mordin, the mad scientist. I like this character. Simple, do what he must.

I don't always write/type like that, (this). When thoughts move too fast, how does one make them clear? That is how I try.

Is it normal? I bloody well hope not. Hate normal. To be normal should be to be different. If you're different, you're normal.

 

[Sial Axetder]

Pondering incesssantly for seemingly a month. What if... Not poetic what if, dreadfully pleasant what if.

Parking lot. Team of vehicles lines the path way, first mistake. Never block pathways, inconsiderate bunch they are. Now walking, now hearing, now fully seeing. One man, can tell, likes centre of attention. His loud voice, cringing, why make everyone care? Next is mind destroying. Laughing. I hear it, stare at it. What if I had a gun? Give me a gun.

No gun, moved on. Evening news could have been.

What should happen here? This doesn't seem to be AvPD. To Anger Management? Meet Buznik and Dr. Rydell? I feel stunning?

 

[Darryl]

Hi Sial Axetder.

I see the Avoidance radar is doing it's job, searching for something to work you up!
A person without avoidance would not care about a loud voice in a crowd.

You have to work on this every day, every minute to break the grip and control avoidance.

Start by standing at a coffee shop, feel avoidance give you every reason why you shouldn't go in, then go in because you want to. (this is what everyday people do)
If something needs to be done.......do it.
As soon as you start making excuses why you won't or shouldn't...Basically the avoidance thoughts will consume you.

When you don't concentrate you will fall into the hand of avoidances

Build up your threshold, things that once annoyed you.... you won't hear. (as much)

Find out who you are behind the mask of avoidance.
Make your own choices and build up the threshold.

Were all here for you, so you've got the support... go strong!!

Regards Darryl

 

[Sial Axetder]

How can this be avoidance? Don't know this person. Do not want to. I am repeating, I think.

You say those without Avoidance would not think this way. Cannot go against, have no proof either way. Believing you are correct.

Here we are, concentration. A tense task to perform let alone grasp. Hardly seems worth the effort, save the head from trains. Understand what you say. Hesitantly accepting. Motivation, Concentration, Progression.

 

[Darryl]

Oh yeah, it's extremely hard no question about that.

We think alike, but never met...... What do we have in common?

I concentrate on the negative pull of why I shouldn't do something.
I tell myself, "I want to, go for coffee, park in this spot whatever.
May sound silly but I know I make the final decision.
All decisions I make I don't go back and re-think the situation.

I like being out there experiencing what I once hid from.

 

[Sial Axetder]

Oh yeah, it's extremely hard no question about that.

We think alike, but never met...... What do we have in common?

I concentrate on the negative pull of why I shouldn't do something.
I tell myself, "I want to, go for coffee, park in this spot whatever.
May sound silly but I know I make the final decision.
All decisions I make I don't go back and re-think the situation.

I like being out there experiencing what I once hid from.

So, you just do. Get there, going there *point finger*, get out and go.

In common. We're commonly misunderstood, truthfully?

Getting there, no problem. Going there, can see it. Get out and go, have done this. Taking all the familiar unease along. Hard to enjoy experience when pondering, sometimes desperately, at the opponent inside. Rather enjoy going to get what is needed or wanted, nod head to acknowledge back, pay, go away.

Planning heading into the woods Friday Saturday (eastern time) with some people. Paintball - want to shoot something. Only task can enjoy with other people, shoot them. Adrenaline is an excellent source of freedom.

 

[Darryl]

Pondering....aaarrhhh, not allow to do this!

Alright, major step you've taken... going and being there (isn't that half the battle?)

Re-thinking, pondering is just firing up the avoidance.

All decisions you make, don't go back and re-think the situation.

This is like learning to walk, you get told to put one foot in front of another, you still struggle, you shift your weight from one leg to the other to evenually you get there.

Stick at it your heading in the right direction.

 

[Darryl]

Break the pondering and you've got yar self a game plan!

Don't look for the bad, don't judge, DON'T ANALYSE.

Just enjoy it for what it is, enjoy the moment.
People are just getting on with there life, just like you.

When the anxiety fires up and it will -your making a positive impact, be calm, be strong-get through it.

Remember the stronger you become the less avoidance will have a impact, so keep at it.

All about being strong, yes you will drop the ball from time to time, but that's also learning how to bounce back.

Your on your way, go places, build up experiences.
And all of a sudden these experiences give you something to say at the next social event.

 

[Sial Axetder]

Break the pondering and you've got yar self a game plan!

Don't look for the bad, don't judge, DON'T ANALYSE.

Just enjoy it for what it is, enjoy the moment.
People are just getting on with there life, just like you.

When the anxiety fires up and it will -your making a positive impact, be calm, be strong-get through it.

Remember the stronger you become the less avoidance will have a impact, so keep at it.

All about being strong, yes you will drop the ball from time to time, but that's also learning how to bounce back.

Your on your way, go places, build up experiences.
And all of a sudden these experiences give you something to say at the next social event.

Ah, forgot, no ponder. Just great. Circles.

Didn't make the trip today. Nothing I could have planned for, so didn't give in to AvPD. Maybe. Just saving my vehicle from destruction. No AC until next week. Had one CO2 tank burst out in my hand. Wow. Just a 30min trip in the heat with no AC did that. 5hr drive, no AC. 32 grand, 10 left to pay. No way.

Maybe somewhere else near by. I don't get the same nervous feeling when going to shoot Paint. Is it usual to have something that is doable? Could even be with people I know nothing about.

Always looking for the bad. Maybe its time to change.

Next social event, I like my tea hot.

 

[Darryl]

Paintballing is you being you, no avoidance influcences!

My Nana used to make the best tea, tea leaves in pot through a strainer.... beautiful!!

 

[Sial Axetder]

Paintballing is you being you, no avoidance influcences!

My Nana used to make the best tea, tea leaves in pot through a strainer.... beautiful!!

How'd it taste? Best after a long day.