Ever since a child, i have never been able to connect with people, or make eye contact with others. Its been a very difficult obsticle to deal with. In high school, I was always considered a geek or a nerd or someone who was made fun of by everyone, especially women. Whenever i tried to make an effort and step out of my boundaries to talk to a girl, she would shoot me down, and humiliate me. On top of it all, i have huge anxiety and depression issues on top of that. I have an understanding on why I was never successful with women. But why me though? I want affection just like everyone else, but why is it so difficult for me to make contact or date. Being as now i am 36 and never had a girlfriend, or even know how to interact with women like that because of the past. How does one get over it? Am i a writeoff? I am so socially awkward now that part of me wants to be with someone, but the other half doesn't want anything to do with society especially a relationship. I know its a contradiction, but in all my experiences its been disasters. But i don't want to lose hope either. Any thoughts or suggestions?