Never been able to connect to women

lily

Well-known member
#25
They were able to have relations with women just by improving their confidence and developing emotional intelligence. It's much easier said than done, of course.
you shouldn't develop emotional intelligence. if you're kind then you are, you shouldn't pretend. i would not like a guy to pretend he's kind. Then again, people should develop some sort of emotional intelligence in general.

If you can learn to socialize adequately and make women laugh, they're not going to screen you for job/money/social network first. You have a chance if you can do just those things.
You already made me laugh :bigsmile: it comes natural

i know how it is to feel lonely, i too feel lonely b/c of my conditions. *hugs* to you and lifesnotfair
 
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Kiwong

Well-known member
#26
I think things got better for me when worrying about dating women no longer ruled my every waking moment. Jeezus, it was misery. Now I just to get on with life and am open to any eventuality.

I'd rather be authentic and on my own, than become someone who tries hard to be the opposite sex might like. And wallows in misery when they are not.
 

Bronson99

Well-known member
#27
you shouldn't develop emotional intelligence. if you're kind then you are, you shouldn't pretend. i would not like a guy to pretend he's kind. Then again, people should develop some sort of emotional intelligence in general.
I think I can sound "kind" online, similar to my basic public persona.

I do have some strong core values. I don't agree with insulting others, acting "above" anyone, manipulation, and related things.

At the same time, I also do not like myself. I am not kind to myself, although that has gotten a little better. But I'm still self-loathing and full of angst, rage, all manner of negative emotion. I've become misanthropic for a variety of reasons and not interested in changing that. I don't bother to do much for anyone else because I'm focused on my inflexible routines.

I don't like to reciprocate because it is problematic/painful for me.

All of these qualities together points to very low emotional intelligence and a rather shocking case of immaturity.

Now, how much of this is laziness (could be changed) versus hard-wired (cannot be changed.) That's a hard question to answer.
 

lily

Well-known member
#29
I think I can sound "kind" online, similar to my basic public persona.

I do have some strong core values. I don't agree with insulting others, acting "above" anyone, manipulation, and related things.

At the same time, I also do not like myself. I am not kind to myself, although that has gotten a little better. But I'm still self-loathing and full of angst, rage, all manner of negative emotion. I've become misanthropic for a variety of reasons and not interested in changing that. I don't bother to do much for anyone else because I'm focused on my inflexible routines.

I don't like to reciprocate because it is problematic/painful for me.

All of these qualities together points to very low emotional intelligence and a rather shocking case of immaturity.

Now, how much of this is laziness (could be changed) versus hard-wired (cannot be changed.) That's a hard question to answer.
Not being rude, but if you want a relationship you have to work on it and not just whine, but i understand if you're in that state.
 
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#30
Aside from 2 hookers, a lap dance, & a drunken romp at a wedding after-party, i haven't been able to physically connect with women. :sad:

Normal women are just plain too picky/finicky/flighty. Just ONE tiny little flaw/discrepancy & they run a mile! :sad:
 
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Kiwong

Well-known member
#31
A rugby hooker tried to hit on me once, cauliflower ears, not very attractive.
I was physically connected to a woman at the Orange agricultural college initiation ceremony. They tied one of our legs together and pelted us with eggs and coloured flour.
 
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#33
Once there was an attractive young lady working at a shop of new-age trinkets, and as i walked in she said to her co-worker 'has it just gotten colder in here?'. I was fuming at the insult. So i said to my friend, who also went to that shop regularly, that i'm thinking about flour-bombing her. So next time he was there he told her this, & told me that he'd done so. I was annoyed at him, as now i'd lost the element of surprise. Apparently she was angry at me & scared. Shortly after i found out through my friend that she'd left the job. So i didn't get a chance to follow-through with my idea. :sad:
(weren't 100% sure that i would, but now the opportunity had passed)
 
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