Srijita52
Well-known member
Thank you, you're a sweetheart.It's not easy at all, but you're a strong-willed girl and I know you can overcome it eventually.
Need for constant approval.
- Thread starter BlueDays
- Start date
Starry
Well-known member
For all those who feel they need the approval of everyone...
Think.. Would you care equally about the opinions of your mother, a bully, a philanthropist, a murderer, a politician and a doctor equally?
Presumably the answer is "no".. In which case, you wouldn't seek the approval of the ones you wouldn't value the opinion of would you?
Therefore, remember that only people who you judge to hold valuable opinions and who you judge to be good and who you look up to actually matter when it comes to approval. Work on being the best person you can be as you, yourself would like, then you'll see that the people who you admire will be more likely to offer you the approval you seek... And knowing that you're being the best you can be in the ways that matter will make you indifferent to the opinions of those who really don't matter.
It's hard, but with work, you'll get there.
Think.. Would you care equally about the opinions of your mother, a bully, a philanthropist, a murderer, a politician and a doctor equally?
Presumably the answer is "no".. In which case, you wouldn't seek the approval of the ones you wouldn't value the opinion of would you?
Therefore, remember that only people who you judge to hold valuable opinions and who you judge to be good and who you look up to actually matter when it comes to approval. Work on being the best person you can be as you, yourself would like, then you'll see that the people who you admire will be more likely to offer you the approval you seek... And knowing that you're being the best you can be in the ways that matter will make you indifferent to the opinions of those who really don't matter.
It's hard, but with work, you'll get there.
Steppen-Wolf
Well-known member
I don't think this has anything to do with being selfless.
It's about having very low selfesteem that makes you too reliant in what others say of you. Someone with a healthy selfesteem has a strong "base" in it's ego that not too disturbed by small failiures or negative feedback.
Sadly, I don't think there's any magic pill to be like this, just time and effort to love yourself.
cosmosis
Well-known member
I have such a struggle with this. I did an experiement once where I focused just on myself (like being more selfish) and stopped thinking about others. In the process I become more confident and happier at the time. But something felt wrong. Very wrong and I eventually stopped. Its funny because thats pretty much all I need to do in order to become outgoing and social. But I can't do it because I can't be selfish. I can't ignore the pain and joy of others. I think there's a balance in life. I'm a horrible when it comes to strangers and new people because I'm always in other peoples heads and trying to connect and please and protect them (while everyone else just does what they want in life). Ulimately I come across as a fool. But on the other side I tend to do really well with people once I get to know them because I'm not disconnected like most people. I can't just walk away from people (strangers or close friends) because its all the same in my head. I've learned that the people who are really good at not caring about what strangers think usually end up hurting the ones close to them. You can't have it both ways.
mikebird
Banned
Copied from job advert
I know it doesn't matter, to the fortunate gleeful, but it is very often that recruiters have no care to make a badly-typed posting, sitting there laughing, with their personality outstanding all others. It's necessary for a weathergirl smile or a TV presenter. Not for a sullen tech expert
The ideal candidate will therefore have;
Brilliant SQL skills - working with a SQL CRM and comofrtable with extracting data and generating reports.
A head for large volumes of data and information.
A strogn personality, personable and most importantly, brilliant interpersonal skills and communication skills. As the BI Project progressess, being able to talk and liaise with the business will become more and more important.
I know it doesn't matter, to the fortunate gleeful, but it is very often that recruiters have no care to make a badly-typed posting, sitting there laughing, with their personality outstanding all others. It's necessary for a weathergirl smile or a TV presenter. Not for a sullen tech expert
The ideal candidate will therefore have;
Brilliant SQL skills - working with a SQL CRM and comofrtable with extracting data and generating reports.
A head for large volumes of data and information.
A strogn personality, personable and most importantly, brilliant interpersonal skills and communication skills. As the BI Project progressess, being able to talk and liaise with the business will become more and more important.