My "whatever" journal.

[Insanewoman389]

You're female, so a female nurse had to be present? That doesn't make much sense. Anyway, sounds like the whole ordeal was horrible, but at least you got some results from it.

Haha no it doesn't it. Although I tend to prefer female doctors I only wanted one in the room regardless if they were male or femals.

Yea I guess

 

[Insanewoman389]

December 14 2011, 1:27 Pm:

Just got back from a follow up appointment at the doctors and they prescribed me zoloft so hopefully that and Clonazepam should really help and maybe I can start getting better or at least have a better chance lol :]

On another good not I got a lot of makeup stuff last night at target which was fun and I got a new shampoo and conditioner that I'm looking forward to trying out

 

[w*n*c*a*m]

December 14 2011, 1:27 Pm:

Just got back from a follow up appointment at the doctors and they prescribed me zoloft so hopefully that and Clonazepam should really help and maybe I can start getting better or at least have a better chance lol :]

On another good not I got a lot of makeup stuff last night at target which was fun and I got a new shampoo and conditioner that I'm looking forward to trying out

It's nice that you've having treatment now. I always have this great curiosity about taking these type of drugs. Wondering if it could really help me ease my anxiety or make me feel a bit confident. But I'm scared at the same time because I might get dependent on it. So guess I'll just look forward to your progress and see how it goes. Happy for you.

 

[Insanewoman389]

It's nice that you've having treatment now. I always have this great curiosity about taking these type of drugs. Wondering if it could really help me ease my anxiety or make me feel a bit confident. But I'm scared at the same time because I might get dependent on it. So guess I'll just look forward to your progress and see how it goes. Happy for you.

Thanks, I'm hopeful about the treatment.

Hearing that you can be dependent on it makes me scared too so I'll definitely keep you up to date with that, at least as much as I can lol

 

[Insanewoman389]

December 15 2011 8:55 Am:

Well I'm outta of my room like the doctor suggested so at least I'm doing that although I miss my room lol
She also wanted me to go to sleep without the tv on which I'm gonna at least try later tonight, but I don't know if that's gonna work for me. Cause I normally can't sleep without the tv on cause with out it it's too quiet and too dark, but I'll at least try *sigh* Wish me luck! :]

 

[Insanewoman389]

December 15 2011 8:30 Pm:

Well I started my day off by doing what my doctor said by going out to the front room, then I went to the doctors with my friend and sister and then I went and hung out with my sister and I had a GOOD day! I laughed and went to the store just looking around which was fun so at least I had a good day let's hope I have a good night lol :]

 

[Insanewoman389]

December 17 2011 10:37:

Yesterday was another awful day I ended up being alone in the house and I pretty much freaked and had a panic attack but I called my friend and she came over and we hung out so that helped but when I got home I got upset again and pretty much had a really bad panic attack to the point that my chest started to burn it was awful and now I can't seem to calm down its so bad I've been having really suicidal thoughts but I'm too afraid to do that :/

 

[MikeyC]

It's really awful that you're having all these panic attacks. You seem to get them when you're alone and that's not good at all. Having good people around is great but you have to handle alone-time, too.

You'd better not go through with any of those thoughts! ::

 

[Insanewoman389]

It's really awful that you're having all these panic attacks. You seem to get them when you're alone and that's not good at all. Having good people around is great but you have to handle alone-time, too.

You'd better not go through with any of those thoughts! ::

I know its just hard especially when I run out of things to do I mean I used to be ok with that but lately it just scares me :/

I'm probably not gonna its just I feel like I'm never gonna get better and I don't know if I could live like this :'(

 

[MikeyC]

I know its just hard especially when I run out of things to do I mean I used to be ok with that but lately it just scares me :/

I'm probably not gonna its just I feel like I'm never gonna get better and I don't know if I could live like this :'(

If there's anything that interests you, I do recommend following them and putting a bunch of your time into it. That way you can be entertained and you will have fun doing it, too.

You will get better, I assure you. As a teenager, your hormones are going crazy and you will feel rather terrible about anything, but I guarantee you that it does calm down somewhat. You will be okay.

I know I've said this before, but I wish I could help you more.

 

[Insanewoman389]

If there's anything that interests you, I do recommend following them and putting a bunch of your time into it. That way you can be entertained and you will have fun doing it, too.

You will get better, I assure you. As a teenager, your hormones are going crazy and you will feel rather terrible about anything, but I guarantee you that it does calm down somewhat. You will be okay.

I know I've said this before, but I wish I could help you more.

I try but its hard to concentrate :/

I hope so but these panic attacks make it hard and it just feels like I'm going to be like this forever and that's what I can't handle. :'( ::

I know and thank-you!

 

[Insanewoman389]

December 20 2011 9:07:

Well just a brief update, I've been looking into a place that could help and it looks pretty good and I'd be able to just go during the day and at least I'd be out of the house. But today I'm going to my scheduled appointment with the therapist cause I wanna see how that goes first so fingers crossed! Good news though I haven't had a panic attack just mild anxiety one's and I've been going out more and that's made me feel better so for now I'm doing good

 

[MikeyC]

That is great news. I hope your therapist appointment goes well. Very glad you're taking the right steps, my good friend.

 

[satstrn]

Make sure you know exactly what you are doing by taking those drugs. They are extremely powerful and addictive substances that create physical dependencies and horrible withdrawal if you try to wean off of them. The companies that produce both of those drugs have been sued numerous times for ruining lives. Keep in mind that helping you with your anxiety is only a secondary motivation for drug companies (the main motivation is to MAKE MONEY). Just make sure that you do your research and understand the long term risks involved. I'd try to look into more natural remedies and lifestyle changes before turning to drugs, including CBT therapy, nutrition and exercise, breathing exercises, etc. I agree with Mikey, ultimately you want to develop your interests and gain confidence in certain things...be it music, cooking, yoga, fishkeeping, anything. That gives you a way to calm down and release. I'm not saying that drugs can't help anyone, but those are very dangerous drugs at such a young age. I wish you the best.

 

[Insanewoman389]

That is great news. I hope your therapist appointment goes well. Very glad you're taking the right steps, my good friend.

Thanks! It went well she's pretty nice, just gonna take some time getting comfortable with her. Yea but I'm still scared :/

 

[Insanewoman389]

Make sure you know exactly what you are doing by taking those drugs. They are extremely powerful and addictive substances that create physical dependencies and horrible withdrawal if you try to wean off of them. The companies that produce both of those drugs have been sued numerous times for ruining lives. Keep in mind that helping you with your anxiety is only a secondary motivation for drug companies (the main motivation is to MAKE MONEY). Just make sure that you do your research and understand the long term risks involved. I'd try to look into more natural remedies and lifestyle changes before turning to drugs, including CBT therapy, nutrition and exercise, breathing exercises, etc. I agree with Mikey, ultimately you want to develop your interests and gain confidence in certain things...be it music, cooking, yoga, fishkeeping, anything. That gives you a way to calm down and release. I'm not saying that drugs can't help anyone, but those are very dangerous drugs at such a young age. I wish you the best.

Thanks for the concern but right now I feel I need more than just therapy and trying to do things to keep me busy. I was very close to going over the edge and if it wasn't for the pills, I believe, that I probably would've killed myself. I am taking the pills as directed by my doctor(s) and I trust them, that and they are the lowest dose possible and I'm pretty cautious with pills I always ask before I take them if its ok. I really do appreciate the concern but right now I need something to help and something to at least get me going.

 

[Insanewoman389]

December 20 2011, 7:50:

The appointment went pretty well, the lady was nice. She set me some homework though lol I have to at least get out of the house twice a week which is fine cause I had planned on getting out more anyways. She also wants me to rate how my anxiety is throughout the day which is gonna be kinda hard but I'll try I got a little upset when I got home, overwhelmed by getting better I guess but I'm doing better now and I suppose its just the whole "Gets worse before it gets better" thing so I'm gonna keep at it lol.

 

[Insanewoman389]

December 22 2011 10:03,

I did A LOT today! At least it feels like it lol I got up kinda early (8:00) pretty much chilled out till 10 I think? Went for a walk around then came home played some monopoly then I got ready to pick up my mom and then we went grocery shopping for like an hour or two lol Came home hung out with a friend who just left and now I'm on here so for me that's a lot haha It was a good day but still had spikes in anxiety but I'm trying to stay positive And only 3 more days till Christmas!!! Woo! :]

 

[MikeyC]

Fantastic, insanewoman! I'm glad you had a productive day. Spikes in anxiety are normal but at least you overcame them.

Monopoly is a cool game. I haven't played that in aaaaaages.

 

[Insanewoman389]

Thanks me too! :] Yea but I just hate getting the panic attacks where I feel like dying you know? *sigh*

lol Me either but I did amazing!! I ended up with 7,000 dollars! ;]