My father bullied me sometimes when I was a child. He would make jokes that humiliated me.
My mother is insecure and never believes in her own abilities, and also doesn't believe in my abilities or talents, and that way she makes me feel incapable of anything.
When I'm with my mother I feel extremely irritated and constantly reminded of our family's dysfunctional patterns. It all brings me down.
It's hard for me to know to what extent I should socialize with my mother (And my father. They're divorced).
I don't want to not be in touch with them, but omg it's hard to feel so bothered by them.
Most of my family - my mother, older sisters and cousins who also happened to be female - would make humiliating jokes at my expense as well. Either about my weight or my face... Forgetting, of course, that I'm a mixed race lad who was frequently bullied throughout my school years.
I never dared say anything back to them after seeing how they tended to flee into a rage and get offended if I make a sarcastic remark aimed at them. The youngest of my 2 older sisters, especially, being prone to violent tantrums if you utter anything that she's likely to take issue with.
My mother was, and still is, a deeply insecure, manipulative and cold woman. She feckin' hateful as well. Always negative, always. Oh, and domineering.
Haven't really conversed with her since I was 18. That's when I realised she never had anything good or nice to say to me, or whenever she did everything negative would overwhelm the compliment. But hey, that's the kinda crap that happens when a young lad spends much of his life being compared to his violent, abusive, absentee father and being told that
"All men are useless - ah don't mean you though, son". :sad:
And my mother never misses a chance to re-enforce the idea that, cuz I have disability I'm unable to look after myself. Though, worse of all that was a few years ago. At the mere mention of me saying I wanted to move out and leave the family home, my Mum told me, straight-up, that if I did that she'd take her own life. Which she would later say was just
"...a joke" :
:
