My gripe about being uncomfortable even with close friends

[UnOccupied]

This is bothering me. I am home from school for the weekend, and i have a great group of friends at home, who love hanging out with me, and want to be around me and talk to me. I know, most people on here would dream of this(i was the same way a few years ago). But, last night we were all hanging out, just like 8 of us. We all had some drinks and were just talking, playing games, typical night. All the people were very comfortable people who enjoy my company, no one is aggressive or mean, ALL nice people.

So, even with knowing i can say anything to these people, and they like me for who i am, i STILL have so much social anxiety. And, every conversation i have just felt SO unnatural. Like, every time someone asks me a simple questions, i get so scared to say anything back. Like, these are my friends, i have no reason to be embarrassed or scared to talk to them.

It is just so frustrating to me how social anxiety makes it so difficult for me to carry on normal conversations with even people like this, my friends who like me, and are not judging me at all.




On a good note though, my CBT did help me a little. It probably would have been even worse without my CBT. At least now i can realize why i have the social anxiety. It is easier now for me to slow down, and devalue the lying negative thoughts and beliefs about myself.


I just wanted to vent a little here. Feel free to chime in if you would like. Any gripes you have in a similar situation would be nice Have a great day everyone. By the way, how about this weather!? At least on the east of the U.S., it is absolutely beautiful out. ::

 

[Emma03]

That happens to me, mainly because my self esteem is pretty low. I always feel like I have to think before I say anything. I have a really close friend that I actually feel very comfortable with...but that's probably because I have known her so long.

Enjoy the weather - it is so nice!

 

[Sial Axetder]

This is bothering me. I am home from school for the weekend, and i have a great group of friends at home, who love hanging out with me, and want to be around me and talk to me. I know, most people on here would dream of this(i was the same way a few years ago). But, last night we were all hanging out, just like 8 of us. We all had some drinks and were just talking, playing games, typical night. All the people were very comfortable people who enjoy my company, no one is aggressive or mean, ALL nice people.

So, even with knowing i can say anything to these people, and they like me for who i am, i STILL have so much social anxiety. And, every conversation i have just felt SO unnatural. Like, every time someone asks me a simple questions, i get so scared to say anything back. Like, these are my friends, i have no reason to be embarrassed or scared to talk to them.

It is just so frustrating to me how social anxiety makes it so difficult for me to carry on normal conversations with even people like this, my friends who like me, and are not judging me at all.




On a good note though, my CBT did help me a little. It probably would have been even worse without my CBT. At least now i can realize why i have the social anxiety. It is easier now for me to slow down, and devalue the lying negative thoughts and beliefs about myself.


I just wanted to vent a little here. Feel free to chime in if you would like. Any gripes you have in a similar situation would be nice Have a great day everyone. By the way, how about this weather!? At least on the east of the U.S., it is absolutely beautiful out. ::

CBT. Spoke to doctor briefly about SA. Mentioned this. Not sure where to look. How to start. Costs expensive?

Very tense in anything social. Cannot just sit back and enjoy. My answers to questions sometimes get laughs, not understanding why. Serious answer.

Keep mind that is only in Socialworld, here okay.

 

[Falkor]

I feel really unnatural too if I hold conversation with my friends, Because I feel anxious, and not comfortable all the time. I even think people judge me on the fact that I don´t seem natural interacting with people. For example If i hang out with a friend, I always think afterwards, didn´t I make a fool out of myself? 'But I know my friends are really trustworthy and I'm glad I can count on them. I'm most afraid of seeing ''new people''. For example if I'm about to meet someone I know from the web, i'm soooo nervous, but I did that some times, and it result me a great friendship =), so maybe it doesn't feel like we feel alright, but the other person does care for you, even if you don't feel well, for that case, I think it's very important to tell our friends about our social anxiety deal, because they can understand your situation, and they can listen to you if you need to talk. Because they sure talk about their things, so we should not hide our own facts, probs and lifestyle.
Social anxiety is a hard thing, but also i think people with social anxiety are really nice people, because they are not judging, they know how that feels. and they are also very inspiring smart people

X Flowergirlie

 

[Predacon]

It happens, I can conversations with my family that feel unnatural and I see them all the time.

 

[awkwardamanda]

Yeah, I gotta say, I'm not completely comfortable around my friends either. Sometimes I just don't know what to talk about. Sometimes I'll want to talk about something, but I won't know how to bring it up. Sometimes I think my friends are getting bored with me. I haven't met the right friends. Not that I'd want to lose the friends I have, but there's something lacking. I haven't met a friend I've really clicked with. Not sure I ever will.

 

[EscapeArtist]

Yepppp it's good to vent. It's sure a pain isn't it? "How are you" -MIND GOES INTO PANIC MODE- me: "Uhhhmm i'mmm okkkk, ya know... you?" -BEATS SELF UP, why didn't you just say you're good?!" ETC.

I am envious of your position, 8 nice friends! I have 1 but we don't really get along on the same level.

 

[Richey]

i have found this as well but mostly its when i am trying to make new friends where we are all sitting around a table talking. there is usually 1-2 people that will dominate the banter and the rest of us will chip in here and there, what i notice is that i feel a bit lame compared to some of the other people who can find a segway into an interesting topic or a tv show, topic but they do it so well, so there are many times where i dont know how to react except to laugh or ask a question. i feel like a bit of a lair capsule or a passenger especially around girls who can just talk and talk not stop. sometimes i feel i did well other times i feel un-cool and a bit dull in comparison. maybe it depends on the people. i find it hard to make a joke at the right times and i really dont know how to describe it, but some people seem effortlessly smooth and cool, the way they use their facial expression and knowing what to say....

most of these gripes come down to my own insecurities, its not really the other people, its me and my self consciousness reflecting back at me. its actually a huge problem.

 

[Obstacle 1]

That happens to me, mainly because my self esteem is pretty low. I always feel like I have to think before I say anything. I have a really close friend that I actually feel very comfortable with...but that's probably because I have known her so long.

Enjoy the weather - it is so nice!

Aye me too, I tend to make it a chore for people that try to do the quck 1-2 small talk "how are you?", by the time I pass my "filter" and end up saying something (which is basically nothing because I wouldn't reveal anything) they have lost interest in taking it any further ::

I think the fact I dont catch up with people often enough actually worsens the situation because we basically have to do the "catch up" talk each time.. I like it when you can just rock up say "hi" and just go straight into a topic that doesn't involve talking about yourself.