Moving far away to start life all over?

[Social_Monstrosity]

Have any of you attempted this?

How did it affect your SA? I've really been considering this since I hate my town and I have far too much baggage here. Starting with a clean slate might help with my anxiety...

 

[kihira]

I would love to do this. I can imagine it being an instant mood enhancer.

 

[Kinetik]

I tried it. I'm from Europe but studied in the US for years (that's why my location has changed a lot since I've been a member here). I have to say, it didn't work all that well. I generally isolated myself as much as possible and made very few connections. I did the bare minimum of things I had to in order to get through the days in terms of errands and such, and I only very sporadically reached out to people in a social setting. It's a shame, because the few times I did make an effort, I was generally rewarded - people were friendly to me, and I even had some luck with women. Those years did teach me some survival skills and valuable life lessons though, so I don't think it was a total waste of time.

 

[BlackPuma]

I've recently spoken with someone here over chat who had traveled to Africa at the age of 19-20. He explained it to be a special experience, but that even though the people there were very gentle and nice, it was still very hard for him because of his social phobia.

I love the thought of moving away, but I am very aware that I'd merely be trying to run away from my problems. The only thing I want to get rid of is the toxic people I have to deal with on a daily bases. I doubt that physically moving would do you much good. Though, you might end up in a place where you feel more at ease (we all have our personal preferences), and that that will in terms help you cope with social phobia better.

I don't think it would be a recovery head-start.. It would only make it slightly easier.

I'm sorry for being so negative. :C

 

[EscapeArtist]

Yeah.. i'm going to have to agree with Puma. I think this is a form of escape, rather than healing. And if it does work, if you happen to start feeling the same way you do now in your town in this new town, you're going to just up and move again. It could become addictive. I used to fantasize about living as a nomad for this purpose.

 

[Feathers]

Well, I think it can work both ways: it can be good, widen your comfort zone, or a way of escape.. (or a scary experience) or both/all of that lol!

Someone on this forum said that travelling was a really good experience, meeting friendly people etc. He lives in Brasil with love of his life I think?

I also have a friend who traveled and moved a lot, married a guy in the US (he's American) and then they both came back into her home town, so hm? (She just went for a vacation with relatives first, then stayed at a hostel and met him there..)
Another friend met her man on a summer vacation too..

I wish I traveled more when I was younger, but I saw it as a way of escape then too.. (It's cheaper to travel when you're younger )
You can also meet interesting new people..

I think it's best to read some books on communication and/or take some courses in that, and then go with a friend somewhere not too far away and see if you like travelling.. (It's easier for me to go with a friend or two, even if we split up then there...) And how to go through an airport etc. if you haven't gone already (I'd probably be scared to go alone the 1st time lol)

See what destinations are cheaper to go to (both travel and living costs) and you can do interesting things there for free or cheap... (I loved London cause almost all the museums and galleries were free, with free tours too.. and you can meet and talk to people there.. not sure if it's still the same, double-check any destination before you go.. staying in London can be quite expensive though, so you might wanna check cheaper destinations.. and then see what you can do there too..)

a 'dip in the water' may be best, before you decide something big like that... (like a short vacation) to see if you even really like it there, maybe meet some people..
Then you could try to look for work or study there... or at least ask around how to go about this...

I really liked going to the capitol and studying there, it mostly did feel like 'a clean slate'... So I recommend something like this - you can do it in your own country or elsewhere, depending on your funds $$$ and other resources..
Some of my friends from Uni/dorm stayed in the capitol (it's also easier to get a good job there), some also studied abroad... Mostly they had good experiences and 'widened their horizons'...

 

[Falkor]

That has always been a dream for me. Living in another place, totally new,
new people around me, new chances, new oppurtinities..
Sounds awesome for me. But still I deal with SA, so it would be hard.
Being realistic is a very important thing, I should first learn to deal with sa.
And start studying again and have a ''real'' job.

But once my friend told me about camp holiday in the u.s, and that sounded freaking cool, but really expensive.. But that is one of my dreams too

You know what would be freaking awesome? A social anxiety CAMP!
Ya, that would be so cool

Maybe I should organize that in the future, it's one of my dreams so. But I hope I could find a chance to make the dream true !!!

xx

 

[groovy]

I've fantasized about it. lol. Probably wouldn't have the guts to go through with it though.

And I agree that SA would still be a BIG problem.. (i think that in most of my fantasies SA magically disappears : maybe even more so, because I'll know no one to begin with, and it might stay that way hah.

PLUS what would my lovely family do without good old groovy.

 

[AGR]

Well I had to move countries,I changed countries which are like the total opposite of the other,my experience is that some things change while others get worse,there is no perfect place,,most of the problem is yourself,but still I would like to try other countries,I might have to go back to my home country next year,I could stay in Japan alone,I would make more money and could buy the latest stuff,this is possible here,but my opinion is that is easy to isolate yourself in Japan,so could be a bit risky with no family in this state,on the other hand I would have to go to a country where its easy to make friends,but much more agressive and unforgiving,dont know what I will do.

 

[theblank]

I've moved around a lot and attempted to start over many times. In some ways it's good because you get a fresh start in a new place with new people, but in some ways it's bad because you bring all your baggage with you and if you can't let go of it nothing really changes...you just have to move again.

 

[EscapeArtist]

That has always been a dream for me. Living in another place, totally new,
new people around me, new chances, new oppurtinities..
Sounds awesome for me. But still I deal with SA, so it would be hard.
Being realistic is a very important thing, I should first learn to deal with sa.
And start studying again and have a ''real'' job.

But once my friend told me about camp holiday in the u.s, and that sounded freaking cool, but really expensive.. But that is one of my dreams too

You know what would be freaking awesome? A social anxiety CAMP!
Ya, that would be so cool

Maybe I should organize that in the future, it's one of my dreams so. But I hope I could find a chance to make the dream true !!!

xx

Omg, I'd go to that camp!

 

[SilentStranger]

I moved once interstate (not counting moving countries as a child). For me at least it was good in a sense that I was too dependent on my parents and this forced me to move out. So if its a situation like that I probably would think it might be OK. I suspect this is not the case for you.

I also had fantasies about me socialising and going out more once i moved. This never happened. Like others have said, I bought all my personality and anxiety traits with me.

I suspect it might be good under certain circumstances like mine re dependancy or even moving from a small town to a large one where there is more chance that you will find people like you. But think carefully to see if you are trying to act out you instinct to 'run away'.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

I agree with TheBlank, it depends what you're trying to escape from.
People are basically the same everywhere. But yes there is places where life is better. As long as you know it's a lot of work and energy to get to know new people and make new friends, wherever you are. You won't become another person.