Motivation...

[X-Rated]

I'm in the 11th grade and the university is slowly approaching.Although, this should be a sign that I should study harder I can't do it. I want to study computer science(at least that what i want for now:-??) ) , and for that i need to improve at maths , informatics, and english( if i want to go abroad). So, every time I want to get started I feel terrible and don't have motivation. And when finally I decide to start , I get distracted very easily by TV or PC, thus wasting my time and not learning properly. I don't know why it's happening this, why i lack self - discipline( it's the same when i want to start working out- i do it for 2-3 weeks and then stops citing lack of time as a lame excuse:|).
if this were not enough , i often have mood swings: i'm either chilled and think that everything will be fine or I'm depressed and feel that my life is pointless and I won't even be able to go to uni.
In addition ,at most univ from abroad( esp. UK) extrascholar activities play a role in admission. I went to various contests, competitions when i was in primary school and i dreaded the experience because of my SA. But now, when my SA is much better than then, I don't feel like going because of my laziness(or smth else?!).
If I could just study seriously 2 hrs a day it would be perfect but i'm too undisciplined and get distracted easily. I don't know why but i think that the main reason for this lack of motivation and self-discipline is my lack of friends( i have very few friends, so i'm feeling put off a lot. It would be awesome if i could have someone by my side).
Has everyone experienced this lack of discipline, motivation? If so, how did they manage to get themselves back on track?

Ps. This thing it's killing me. I often sit at the computer long per of time and do useless stuff instead of learning, working out or doing something more useful because I'm too lazy..:|

 

[StupidWiz]

I'm like this too, it's so depressing. The intention is there but the motivation to make it into action is not there. Sometimes I really hate myself because of this.

 

[dragonoth]

When I was doing my A levels a few years ago, I was the same - I searched for anything to distract me instead of doing work. Tbh the only thing that really got me to work at it and get into uni (where I am now) was my fear of failure. At the time I didn't have a clue on what to do with my life or where my life was heading. This uncertainty really put a halt on things, I just had no reason to be motivated because there wasn't something that I really wanted to do. Do you know what you want to do in life?

 

[Feathers]

Oh, I've struggled with inspiration/motivation too..

Deadlines (where you really have to do something for someone by a certain date) are a good one.. (if you're not terribly cross/angry with that person tho...) Also, if you REALLY don't like and don't want the other option, you can do everything you can to maximize good options..

Even if you don't get to go to the Uni, what's the worst that can happen if you improve at maths, informatics, and English? (Maybe you could go to another Uni, or take time off to earn enough money and go study then?) Maybe 'backup plans' could help?

Don't turn on the TV or PC before you do your studying/whatever you want to do. Sometimes this is the only life saver. Trouble is if you have to do stuff on the PC. Then I don't have much advice, except maybe unplug internet? (physically) Use internet as a reward.

minimize computer time, ideally 5 hrs a day max. More causes depression and lack of concentration/memory problems. There was a study. Join a club or volunteer.. get physical contact with people, meet new people..
I know the sa can be bad, do it anyway.. find friendly, sympathetic people in RL (they exist!)

You can find new friends at the University too!! Imagine how much fun it could be! Is there an 'English club' or people with your interests?
You don't have to go to contests if you don't want to, some other non-competitive activities can be fun too!
'Laziness' can sometimes be 'resistence' or masked 'fear'... not sure what it is in your case, you could always 'make yourself go' to events and see what happens? Maybe you'll feel really great & inspired later?

 

[X-Rated]

When I was doing my A levels a few years ago, I was the same - I searched for anything to distract me instead of doing work. Tbh the only thing that really got me to work at it and get into uni (where I am now) was my fear of failure. At the time I didn't have a clue on what to do with my life or where my life was heading. This uncertainty really put a halt on things, I just had no reason to be motivated because there wasn't something that I really wanted to do. Do you know what you want to do in life?

I feel the same atm , that i don't know where my life is heading.....It would much more easier If i knew that i certainly want to be X, and in order to do that i just have to learn Y.....I mean it's not that i have a specific talent, and the reason I chose to go to Compuert Science is because i'm fairly good at maths and informatics and if i wasn't lazy i know i could be much much better....But i don't know.....That's what bothers me....that i couldn't say for sure where or what i'll be 2 years from now..
Oh well, I guess time will tell...

 

[X-Rated]

Oh, I've struggled with inspiration/motivation too..

Deadlines (where you really have to do something for someone by a certain date) are a good one.. (if you're not terribly cross/angry with that person tho...) Also, if you REALLY don't like and don't want the other option, you can do everything you can to maximize good options..

Even if you don't get to go to the Uni, what's the worst that can happen if you improve at maths, informatics, and English? (Maybe you could go to another Uni, or take time off to earn enough money and go study then?) Maybe 'backup plans' could help?

Don't turn on the TV or PC before you do your studying/whatever you want to do. Sometimes this is the only life saver. Trouble is if you have to do stuff on the PC. Then I don't have much advice, except maybe unplug internet? (physically) Use internet as a reward.

minimize computer time, ideally 5 hrs a day max. More causes depression and lack of concentration/memory problems. There was a study. Join a club or volunteer.. get physical contact with people, meet new people..
I know the sa can be bad, do it anyway.. find friendly, sympathetic people in RL (they exist!)

You can find new friends at the University too!! Imagine how much fun it could be! Is there an 'English club' or people with your interests?
You don't have to go to contests if you don't want to, some other non-competitive activities can be fun too!
'Laziness' can sometimes be 'resistence' or masked 'fear'... not sure what it is in your case, you could always 'make yourself go' to events and see what happens? Maybe you'll feel really great & inspired later?

Yes, the deadline is a good idea, thanks for that i`ll try it
As for applying to uni, it's not that i'm worried that i won't go to uni, because i`m sure that if i want to i can be accepted at any uni in my country...
It's that I want to go to uni abroad ( UK comes in my mind) because i'm sick of this country, of its mentality, of its superificiality, of its people and i want to breathe some fresh air , you know what i mean?

 

[Feathers]

Yeah, I know what you mean. I wanted to study abroad too. For me, the real question was the money - cost of studying abroad. Can you afford it or get a scholarship/grant?

I think you will find superficial people everywhere tho.. And if you don't get accepted this time, you can EARN the money and go for a trip/travel for a longer period of time, or get a job there (you're in the EU, right?) or something like that? Check the visa options.. It may not be so easy for Romania as for some other EU countries, check this though.. Or, you could even travel as a student in the holidays?

It's not just 'black' or 'white' - you can go to UK and other countries even if you don't get to study there.. Or you could go for a student exchange Erasmus program or something like that? Is something like that available on universities there? Some friends were in Barcelona or Germany for 6 months or so..
You might even like it better if you just came for a visit and didn't 'live' there.. I know many people who traveled UK for longer or shorter time, or have lived there after studying in the home country.. some also traveled other countries, not just UK.. So, there are lots of options out there, especially for someone so young as you are!!

 

[X-Rated]

@renegade_reloaded
I never said that I don't want to go to college , I just said that the lack of motivation and self - discipline is an impediment to learning.
And as you pointed out, at this age all that matters is how many parties you`ve attended, how many girls you`ve f***ed etc. It's even hard to learn knowing that while u do that others are outside having fun , but i know that in the long time it`s worth it.
But having SA means having no social life(well, almost none), which leads to a liitle bit depression, which leads to a lack of motivation , which leads me here to this site.
@feathers
well , i know that the cost of living in UK much more higher that in my country( esp. the rent). And if i receive the student loan( which covers uni`s fees) and get a part time job I think i`ll be able to scratch a living.
And as for the possibility of not being accepted there, I won't be devastated I just want to go there for a change of scenery and attitude.

 

[worrywort]

I've always found the biggest demotivator is lonliness. I can't be sure, but whenever I feel demotivated it's often coupled with a yearning for some sort of love or companionship. Sometimes I feel like, if I could just find someone to love, who loves me in return, then that would finally fill the hole, and I could move on and get on with my goals. I sometimes feel as though, being demotivated is our souls way of trying to tell us that we have a deeper problem that needs facing first.

My solution is usually to listen to my soul, and take some form of action. Even if it's just to asign a small proportion of my time every week to fixing the problem. But then I put it down and say, ok I've taken action, there's nothing more I can do, and I start trying to be grateful for what I do have, instead of yearning for what I don't have.

then after that , there's a couple of other things that often motivate me. One is possibility. I love to just dream about what's possible, and really try to get a taste for how satisfying it would be if I were to realise some of those possibilities. Another thing that motivates me is to think of all the things that have inspired me the most in my life. All the things that have affected me and changed me the most in my life, and then I try to recreate the same things so that I can pass it onto others. Also just imagining the kind of person I'd like to be and thinking about how sweet it would be to be that kind of person. That motivates me sometimes....I've got tons of other little mind tricks that I use all the time too, but sometimes, even after all that, it's still so difficult to stay motivated. I have problems with motivation all the time. It's one of the biggest daily battles I face, this conflict between the desire to achieve and become a great person, and the desire to just give up and crawl back to bed and cry!

 

[da_illest101]

I wish they would sell motivation at the grocery store. I would probably die from a overdose from it lol ... assuming i have the motivation to go to the grocery store

 

[Kiwong]

Imagine yourself in the future working in a job that you absolutely hate. You're doing the job you hate because you couldn't pull your finger out at university. Is that inspiration enough?

 

[theslowesthand]

I can relate to what worrywort said (good post btw), and continuing along that vein of thought: I think that all distractions (when studying or anywhere) are "our souls way of trying to tell us that we have a deeper problem that needs facing first". But the task of immediate concern is trying to get some useful studying done. When i was at school (high achiever) i was a "chronic fidgeter", not overtly like ADHD/ADD, but i just needed to be constantly doing stuff with my hands at least. Some days were better/worse than others, but generally i seemed to be stuck with it - like it was/is an integral part of whom i am. So i chose to let these diversions/distractions let them have their way with me, but i was able to KEEP STUDYING at the same time!. This meant i was able to every day, put in the hours neded (& then some), and consequently achieve the very high standards that i always set myself.

So you just have to find some things that are study-desk-bound diversions, which only devert a part of your brain (eg motor/sensory part), but which leaves your thinking/analysing part still able to to do the studying required.

Such as:
- Music (preferably which is conducive to studying/homework)
- Simple objects that can be "fiddled" with (spinning top, "magnetic eggs", spinning pen,...)
- Food/snacks (when it's time for)
- Glass of water/sth on desk (can sip regularly)

These things can help you to maintain your focus/concentration (of course having a "healthy" lifestyle would definately help, as does eating "brain food", but one does what one can). As to HOW they do this, possibly one aspect is that these activities continually soothe the mind (as studying is quite stressful on the mind)

 

[Dronee]

I've always found the biggest demotivator is loneliness.

I agree with this. Here's a small suggestion that has sometimes worked for me. Promise yourself that you'll study or work hard for just five minutes and then you'll stop... You know, if someone (salesman eg) asked you to buy something, you'd probably be hesitant. But if he let you try it out for free for a while, chances are, you'll get into it if you like it.

Maybe it's the same with the brain and motivation.

You: Hey check it out, some books!

Brain: What?! More work?! I don't want to work anymore!

You: Come on you... we've been doing nothing all day

Brain: I'm not listening!!! Besides that looks like a heck of a lot of work. Just look at those thick pages and scribbles? Is that even a human language? Ooh look, a new video on youtube!

You: Ok.. how about just five minutes and if it's no good, then we stop yar?

Brain: Well... doesn't sound *too* bad.

(An hour later)

Brain: Yeah yeah.. ok... we'll stop right after this next page. Hah... this thing is actually quite interesting...



Well, maybe not quite like that, but you get the idea. Also, I'd offer another perspective to the whole *party hard* thing mentality. Where I am, it's the exact opposite and fellow students will sometimes be amazed that someone has a life at all beyond studying hard. I personally think a balance is needed...