If you hear someone talking negatively/gossiping about you, what would you do?
a) confront that person and ask why he/she is talking about you, b) look at that person and "catch him/her in the act", c) ignore that person
For many years, I've struggled with this problem. On one hand, I wanted to confront those gossipers and ask why they are saying such negative things about me. But on the other hand, they have the right to free speech so they can pretty much say whatever they want.
For instance, a small group of classmates didn't like me and called me stupid and gay. Then they gossiped to other people in class. Soon enough, pretty much everyone in class have a negative opinion of me and didn't want to associate with me. The really annoying part is when people started "testing" me; some people would randomly quiz me about the exam to see if I get the questions right (testing my intelligence level). There was one girl who intentionally came up and spoke to me, then she swung her hips/butt in a provocative manner to see how I would respond (testing my sexual orientation).
Some people who sat behind me thought it was completely ok to look over my tests and homeworks to see what grades I made. If I made a bad grade, it confirms that I'm stupid. But when I made excellent grades, they still will say something like "this test is easy anyway..." and still think I'm stupid. I feel so much pressure to try to act smart but no matter what I do, I will always be stupid to them.
In many cases, I wasn't sure what to do. I just pretended not to notice and tried to distract myself with studying. But the more I ignore those people, the more they spoke about me and the more aggressive they get. Eventually, one of them shouted "Everybody hates you" in class, right at me. And when I glance at someone, they would stomp their feet at me or make really loud beeping noises with their cell phones.
So, all it took was a small group of people to make my school life h*ll. What would you do in my situation?
a) confront that person and ask why he/she is talking about you, b) look at that person and "catch him/her in the act", c) ignore that person
For many years, I've struggled with this problem. On one hand, I wanted to confront those gossipers and ask why they are saying such negative things about me. But on the other hand, they have the right to free speech so they can pretty much say whatever they want.
For instance, a small group of classmates didn't like me and called me stupid and gay. Then they gossiped to other people in class. Soon enough, pretty much everyone in class have a negative opinion of me and didn't want to associate with me. The really annoying part is when people started "testing" me; some people would randomly quiz me about the exam to see if I get the questions right (testing my intelligence level). There was one girl who intentionally came up and spoke to me, then she swung her hips/butt in a provocative manner to see how I would respond (testing my sexual orientation).
Some people who sat behind me thought it was completely ok to look over my tests and homeworks to see what grades I made. If I made a bad grade, it confirms that I'm stupid. But when I made excellent grades, they still will say something like "this test is easy anyway..." and still think I'm stupid. I feel so much pressure to try to act smart but no matter what I do, I will always be stupid to them.
In many cases, I wasn't sure what to do. I just pretended not to notice and tried to distract myself with studying. But the more I ignore those people, the more they spoke about me and the more aggressive they get. Eventually, one of them shouted "Everybody hates you" in class, right at me. And when I glance at someone, they would stomp their feet at me or make really loud beeping noises with their cell phones.
So, all it took was a small group of people to make my school life h*ll. What would you do in my situation?
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