Making small talk
- Thread starter melsmood
- Start date
philly2bits
Well-known member
I'm bad at it too. I can force it, but it feels very awkward for me. I used to have to do it all the time when I worked with customers. After awhile is I think i got pretty good at acting like I was interested in what they were saying. It almost became like autopilot where I would do small talk without thinking about it. I've since lost that skill.
BlueDays
1
Me too. I ended up just having the same sentances to do with the different parts of the weather and just repeat the relevant one to the customer. I became like a robot!
philly2bits
Well-known member
Not really. I guess I'm just the type of person who doesn't need to fill silence with mindless banter. I think people make small talk just because silence makes them uncomfortable. They feel ask though something needs to be said at all times. And then other people just love to talk about anything and everything. For the most part I'm neither.
Richey
Well-known member
The reason this seems to happen depends on the person. if you are better at multi tasking then at work you'll be more likely to think of more creative sentences. if someone is focussing on a task then they'll lean towards more cliched banter. it happens everywhere and if they ask you about the weather then you sort of have to answer nicely back. i never mention the weather because i have control over what i say. some people just like to conform to the norm. its like why do so many people watch CSI miami, alot of people do it because their friends do, so its a very sheepish style of behaviour.
I think another part of it is social "stroking" so people can get into a comfort zone and start getting conversational with each other.
Darker Than Black
Well-known member
I have hard time making small talk during high stress times..like right now...EXAM T_T
Lost Girl
Well-known member
I find small talk with strangers (like at a bustop or something) VERY awkward!! Especially when its with old people because they talk to you like you're related or something and go on and on and on and all I can do is smile nervously and nod and be like "oh ok..", "oh thats nice", while they tell me about their grand shopping adventure or cat or something and all I can think is "OMG YOU OLD PERSON STOP TALKING TO ME!" D:
I find small talk very difficult too.
I'm not too bad at answering questions from somebody, e.g. "How are you?" - "Fine, thanks", but I find it next to impossible to go on to respond with a question to them which is - as far as I know - what normal humans do
Because of this I'd imagine I come across as quite rude and uninterested to others.
I'm not too bad at answering questions from somebody, e.g. "How are you?" - "Fine, thanks", but I find it next to impossible to go on to respond with a question to them which is - as far as I know - what normal humans do
Because of this I'd imagine I come across as quite rude and uninterested to others.
emmasma
Well-known member
I find small talk very difficult too.
I'm not too bad at answering questions from somebody, e.g. "How are you?" - "Fine, thanks", but I find it next to impossible to go on to respond with a question to them which is - as far as I know - what normal humans do
Because of this I'd imagine I come across as quite rude and uninterested to others.
I have learned to say fine thanks. And you?
then they say "fine" and I say "good" and then we are done and out of talking distance.
They ask because it is polite and if they did not I would think they did not like me. I ask them back for the same reason and really neither one of us wanted to talk anyway.
It does not make me feel dead or like a robot to be polite to people. My issues come when they want to carry on the conversation farther.
This is something that I have been trying to work on a lot lately, pretty much everywhere i go, I try to make small talk. I actually had the courage to tell a joke to a cute girl that I work with the other day. She said that she was having kind of a crappy day, so I told it to her and she smiled and laughed and said that she liked it. That made my day.
mrb
Well-known member
The thing I have learned about talking to people is to follow stuff up with an open ended question. How's it going is kind of tough...
Of course, that's if you want to talk to them in the first place.
A little joke, or remark about something can lead into a conversation at times.
Girl came down and sat next to me shivering. I felt like being a smartass and asked her if she was cold.
We went on to have a conversation about a bunch of random stuff for around an hour until her friend showed up.
The weather is boring to talk about. Everyone talks about the weather. I know it's raining. Yes it sucks.
I do find that the conversation dies rather quickly when I'm the one that is doing the conversing. Ask a person if they are from around here, if not how long they've been here, etc. can only last so long.
I usually just end up asking where some good food is... Sometimes that will start a bit more conversation.
Of course, that's if you want to talk to them in the first place.
A little joke, or remark about something can lead into a conversation at times.
Girl came down and sat next to me shivering. I felt like being a smartass and asked her if she was cold.
We went on to have a conversation about a bunch of random stuff for around an hour until her friend showed up.
The weather is boring to talk about. Everyone talks about the weather. I know it's raining. Yes it sucks.
I do find that the conversation dies rather quickly when I'm the one that is doing the conversing. Ask a person if they are from around here, if not how long they've been here, etc. can only last so long.
I usually just end up asking where some good food is... Sometimes that will start a bit more conversation.
scarletlee
Well-known member
I'm All or Nothing. I either go really quiet and can't find a thing to say or i get this nervous babble that jumps all over the place and sounds really panicky. I can only find the balance around people that i've known for a long time and can relax around