Loyal's Thoughts

[LoyalXenite]

im panicking bad.

i dont know how to fix this, i should have just kept my *******ed mouth shut!
I cant lose her.

I dont know what to do

i cant afford this place without her. I cant live without her, she is my whole world.

i dont know what to do

 

[coyote]

talk to her - tell her what you told us

don't hold back

 

[LoyalXenite]

i tried to talk to her and i made things worse.
im afraid to screw things up more.

 

[LoyalXenite]

i feel so sick and nauseous. my stomach hurts and i have a migraine.
I dont know how to fix this.
I cant lose her.

 

[coyote]

maybe just give her some space - let her cool down

 

[LoyalXenite]

I dont think she will cool down. She seemed to be certain things were over, the only reason she didnt end it is because she wouldnt do it over the phone.

 

[coyote]

i'm sorry, i hope you have a chance to talk and resolve things

 

[LoyalXenite]

So do i. I mean we're engaged, i really hope she gives me a chance to be better and try and fix things.

God i cant stop shaking.

 

[coyote]

i know how horrible it is to be where you are right now

i wish i could be there to help

do you have any mutual friends you can call that might help you by mediating a conversation with your partner?

 

[LoyalXenite]

i was going to talk to her other sister

 

[coyote]

good idea - sometimes it helps to have someone else there in between

 

[LoyalXenite]

her older sister just called to see if i needed someone to talk to. So i suspect my partner called her and told her of her plans to leave me. Her older sister is coming to get me now, hopefully she can help me fix things

 

[coyote]

good luck, LoyalXenite

like i said, don't hold back - tell her everything, and don't be afraid to apologize

 

[Lamb]

I hope you feel better LoyalXenite after getting some things off your chest. Just wondering, have you ever tried to talk to the sister that dislikes you?

 

[LoyalXenite]

Things have turned out ok.

The older sister wasnt calling for any reason other than genuinely wanting my company, i got to vent to her though and she said my feelings were understandable and not unfair and that she understood, and also told me not to worry that things were going to be fine and that my partner wasnt leaving me over this.
I went to her place which was nice, she kept me distracted from my own thoughts (i am my worst enemy) and helped me get my head together a bit.

I got quite anxious when my partner arrived because i just didnt know what was going to happen. But things are ok, we are both just very stressed and so both had a meltdown, but we are ok and it doesnt appear to be her going to leave me. She also said she loved me! When she said it my heart almost burst with relief.

Her younger sister is a completely different person. She has been nice to me and i havent felt uncomfortable or ostracized or anything. My partner is still sleeping in the other room to support her sister, but im ok about it. Knowing that im not losing her makes it not seem as hurtful.

I got kisses and hugs when her sister was in the bathroom and such and things seem to have worked out ok.

I am very relieved. I think this weekend wont be the hell i was afraid of.

 

[LoyalXenite]

I hope you feel better LoyalXenite after getting some things off your chest. Just wondering, have you ever tried to talk to the sister that dislikes you?

No we have only ever had 2 polite conversations in 2 years, but tonight we were actually chatting, like normal people do i imagine.
I wont bring things up if this is how its going to be, better to let the past lie and move on, no need to bring up trouble if things are going to work out anyway.

 

[LoyalXenite]

good luck, LoyalXenite

like i said, don't hold back - tell her everything, and don't be afraid to apologize

Ha i think i apologized about 35 times. I think things are ok though :thumbup:

 

[coyote]

that's so good to hear

 

[LoyalXenite]

that's so good to hear

Yeah the relief is washing through me over and over. I almost feel like, happy or something

 

[LoyalXenite]

Slightly anxious this morning and im not too sure why. I suspect its just the stress of yesterday (on top of all the other stress), everyone has just woken up and had breakfast, i was hovering trying to be social but it wasnt really a conversation i could join in on (the abusive ex-bf) So i retreated to my room. They are in the kitchen.

Not sure what the polite thing to do is? leave them to talk, hover but dont interrupt much, or join in the conversation?