As the title says...the girl whom I presumed to be the love of my life cheated on me 4 months ago. We had been each other's first and only. We lived together and had been having some hard times and would argue a lot and stuff but I never wanted to let her go and I never stopped loving her. She used to tell me that she could never imagine being with someone else and would hate the idea of me being with someone else. Long story short she made it clear she wasn't happy and was finally considering if being with me was best. I was slapped with the reality that she might actually leave me and then I changed. I was a new man and treated her great. A week later (after my "enlightenment") we went somewhere very special to her for her birthday and had a great time and had great sex that night and everything was perfect...so i thought. The following day we went home. That night (the day after her birthday) she went to a friend's house and ended up going over to this guy's place who lives next to her friend and had sex with him that night and she was completely sober. I had been texting her because it was late at night and she still wasn't home and typically she was never one to be out late. I was only texting to see if she was ok and when she would be home...she would text me back like nothing was going on even though she was hanging out with another guy whom she was about to have sex with. Anyways we will fast forward to the next morning and she was acting weird for a while until i finally pushed it out of her that she cheated on me. She was crying like crazy and I was in shock. Neither of us had ever been intimate with anyone else so this was a really big blow. Apparently she had hung out with this guy a few times before and NEVER told me about it. She says that she just thought he was a guy friend and didn't tell me because she didn't want me to worry. And also that that one night is the only time they had ever kissed and/or had sex. All that being said, I have been in unfathomable pain/anger/depression/everythingbad for the last 4 months. All the while she has been trying to win me back and blah blah blah. She seemingly took responsibility for cheating, she has been going to counseling, and has mostly seemed genuinely remorseful and has said that she would never again cheat on me or on anyone else (assuming I don't take her back) ever again because of how bad it has made her feel about herself, etc. Since the incident (cheating) happened, we have spent time together here and there. When I am able to suppress the thought of her cheating out of my head, I am still able to enjoy my time with her and love her....but sometimes that makes it that much harder when I remember what she did to me and I go back into a place of extreme depression/sadness/anger/etc. Perhaps the most painful part is that I NEVER thought she was that kind of girl which is one of the things that I loved most about her. It might also be noteworthy to say that this is the only time she has ever done this (allegedly at least).
If you have read this far, thank you. And I am just wanting some outside opinions on the following matters:
-Do you think someone like her can genuinely change (aka never cheat again)?
-Do you think trust can be rebuilt in this type of situation?
-Technically, if she didn't love me at all she could have just cheated and said **** you and left me...but she wants me back...doesn't that count for something?
-It's been 4 months since she cheated and and we've been broken up and she has still not gone looking for another guy besides me.
****Perhaps the most important question: Do you think I should give this relationship another chance?
If you actually read all of this and reply....thank you, you are awesome.
It's quite complicated when it comes to this sort of thing :kickingmyself: its a very tough subject but I was with a girl who I didn't know for sure had had sex with anyone but I had found her on many occasions flirting with men she knew online asking for sex etc.
Every Time I found out she would be crying and would be so obsessed with trying to get me back and to forgive her.
The thing is. I think it's all down to the sort of person you are at that time in your life. It takes a lot to change a person. Some people never change no matter how much they tell you they can.
I noticed with the girl I was with she was just the sort of person who cheats and needs men all over to tell her she's beautiful (probably has a lot of personal issues and past events that maybe make her this way). I know that sometimes it can be because they are maybe insecure themselves.
There's lot's of factors in this, so many grey areas.
Maybe try and get to the routes of why she did it (although i noticed she never wanted to talk about it). I mean the ball is in your court bro. In my experience she did it again and again and again. But if you think you can handle giving her one more shot go for it. Could go well, could also go bad. Its a risk.
All the best to you, im sure you'll make the right choice!
