lost in life

[isolation]

.

..........

 

[kihira]

22 year old male.

I used to post here years ago. I've overcome anxiety a lot since those days but life hasn't moved on very much.

I think too much time alone has made me disconnected and I can't seem to move forward in life because of it. I don't really know what I enjoy or what I want to do, and it's preventing me from doing something like going to study at university or anything else. I've seen too many years pass by.

My day to day consists of going to work and coming home alone. I want to finally have some happiness in my life like any normal young person.

I travelled to see a friend last year and I felt 'alive' for the first time in so long. I would give anything to feel that again. Is socialising literally the only way out of this mindset?

22 years old = not too many years have passed by. Get out and try lots of new things when you're not working. Find points of focus other than work. You have travelled once and felt alive, plan another holiday

 

[Pacific_Loner]

I think you should follow Phocas advice.....
Also, I know it is hard but being in peace with yourself will really help you to enjoy yourself with or in spite of others.
By being in peace with yourself I guess I mean being satisfied with who you are.
Which will help you to do whatever you want to do (like travelling again) without being stopped by useless worries.
Not sure if it helps. Probably not.

 

[JamesSmith]

22 year old male.

I used to post here years ago. I've overcome anxiety a lot since those days but life hasn't moved on very much.

I think too much time alone has made me disconnected and I can't seem to move forward in life because of it. I don't really know what I enjoy or what I want to do, and it's preventing me from doing something like going to study at university or anything else. I've seen too many years pass by.

My day to day consists of going to work and coming home alone. I want to finally have some happiness in my life like any normal young person.

I travelled to see a friend last year and I felt 'alive' for the first time in so long. I would give anything to feel that again. Is socialising literally the only way out of this mindset?

I hope you don't take my post the wrong way, but if you are alone all the time when you aren't at work, you have not overcome anxiety. I'm in the same situation as you are, except I'm unemployed, so it's even worse. Humans are designed to need other humans. When we don't have other humans to socialize for extensive periods of time, we become depressed, which I imagine has happened to you. Don't feel bad, if you put the most outgoing person and made that person do what you have done for a long time-span they too would be depressed. I hate that we need people, but unfortunately we do. It explains my depression i have from time to time.

 

[3lefts]

Is socialising literally the only way out of this mindset?

I think maybe it is.

 

[IamThisOne]

I know exactly how OP feels. I seriously think when I graduate from college in a few months and enter "the real world" that I will just eventually kill myself.

But.....I don't care.

 

[Feathers]

OP - isolation - great to hear you are working and living on your own! (if I understand you right) - that is quite an accomplishment!!
Some people don't manage to do that even if they/we went to university!

What you need is hobbies! Explore and try new things.. If you enjoyed things in the past (like any sports or crafty/artsy efforts etc) see if you might like them again? Maybe sign up on a course to learn a new skill or language? Or any adult ed evening classes?

If you like travelling and trips, and hanging out with friends - yup, set plans to travel and see other friends.. Or plans to make new friends...
What about music/concerts/festivals/events? Could you enjoy some of that too? They can be low-key like open museum lectures, or cafe poetry readings/book presentations etc.

'Socialising' doesn't have to be a dirty word, you know!! It can be FUN and meaningful, like volunteering, helping with a charity or eco organisation, and you can meet interesting and nice people and new friends this way too!!

IamThisOne, transition from college to 'real world' can be scary - it's survivable though!!
Some people find work better than studying!! (Just ask Black Puma)
Some like studying better than work - it depends on the work and what you study and who with! You can just explore some things and take it as 'learning experience'?

ITO, please get your doctor to adjust or change meds, and get some CBT/counselling or such?! We do care about you, even if you don't!

 

[Hastings & Main]

Thank you for the replies, i'm taking on board what everyone has said.

I just want to share that I had the strangest experience this morning. For a few wonderful minutes I felt 'alive' for the first time in as long as I can remember. It was as if a mist had cleared. All I did was sit quietly in the toilets at work for a little while. A few moments later though it felt like the moment never existed and I went back to being unplugged.

Maybe you got the alive-vibe back from rejoining the site? Well, it was temporary, but we gotta grab what we can.
And, traveling often wakes us up from our daily-grind-persona: doing the same crap everyday (job, school) molds us against our will into somebody we naturally aren't. It isn't natural to be scared awake by an alarm clock every day, for example. Breaking out of that frees us up and lets the real person out from the constraints, endorphins are set free, and there you go.

Getting kicked back to reality is always a downer. That's why having a hobby or something creative to look forward to is important - something to focus on to get through the work/school day that you do after.
Most people I know just go home and sit in front of the TV, eat, go to bed, and go to work again. That just isn't living right.

 

[JamesSmith]

I think you felt alive again because you were away from work for a few minutes. 95% of jobs are boring, grueling, torture chambers that you spend your whole life grinding through if you work full-time. It was relieving being in silence and away from hell. Work is that much worse for someone with Social Anxiety Disorder. I'm unemployed right now and don't feel great about it, but I do know that jobs are overrated.

 

[missjesss]

I am in the exact same situation I've overcome my social anxiety but have realised I am lacking assertive skills and I feel when I'm with my friends that I cannot assert myself and speak up sometimes I wonder if this is a long term affect from s.a kind of like a learnt behaviour so I'm going to do a public speaking/assertive class

also yes humans ate meant to be amoungst other humans but we are generally more introverted then your average person I know I'm a halfy I like both

I am feeling the exact same way I go to work and I come home and I'm alone I almost feel as tho I see life and people differently now because I have come over to the other side of a mental illness it's weird

I need to figure out what I want to do in life etc I am currently seeing someone that I rlly adore bit he works 2 weeks in the mines and comes home for 1 week it's hard but I know it is good for me kind of like a sign that I need to use those 2 weeks to find myself and take up hobbies etc