Flax
Active member
I was wondering, is there anyone in here that has lost all passion for everything? Over the last six years slowly I've lost interest in nearly everything I used to enjoy. I used to paint, draw and make things and I was quite obsessed with it. I used to play video games and be totally engrossed in the experience until I finished the games. I at one point was obsessed with exercise and got into great physical shape and felt invincible. Although I've never been a big reader, whenever I used to start a book I'd not be able to put it down. Now I have a shelf of books that I bought and was interested in reading them, but only read a chapter or two and put them away. I also have many video games I haven't finished and even some that I barely played at all. I bought some canvases and gesso boards to paint on and I have started paintings only to get furious and rip the canvas apart. I can't think of anything to paint and when I do force myself to paint something I usually paint part of it and decide it looks like shit and I destroy it. Same with drawing, I'll start a drawing and only do the head of a person or the body and I'll lose interest in finishing it and I'll crumble it up and toss it in the garbage.
Art is what I'm talented at and I can't even force myself to do it anymore. When I tell people I don't know what career I want to do in life they are baffled because they think I'm an incredible artistic talent.
There have even been times where I've rented a movie and while renting it I'll be totally interested in watching it and I'll get home and let it sit around until it's due back to the store and sometimes I've even brought them back a week late without even watching them. That's about 8 bucks for something I never even watched. I bought a digital camera for 250 bucks and I never even use it. I have a $1600 computer that's geared towards playing the best pc games out there, but I use it to browse boring websites that I don't enjoy.
I know losing interest is a symptom of depression, but can it seriously last this long? Will I spend the rest of my life doing things I don't enjoy just to pass time? Will I spend the rest of my life in some job I got only because it would support me financially?
Well, I am seeing a psychiatrist this Friday in hopes that he'll give me some medication and CBT so I can get back the passion I had six years ago. Sometimes I blame buying a computer and browsing the net as why I became this way, but other people browse the web all the time, but still seem to have a zest for life.
If this has happened to anyone else feel free to explain your situation.
Art is what I'm talented at and I can't even force myself to do it anymore. When I tell people I don't know what career I want to do in life they are baffled because they think I'm an incredible artistic talent.
There have even been times where I've rented a movie and while renting it I'll be totally interested in watching it and I'll get home and let it sit around until it's due back to the store and sometimes I've even brought them back a week late without even watching them. That's about 8 bucks for something I never even watched. I bought a digital camera for 250 bucks and I never even use it. I have a $1600 computer that's geared towards playing the best pc games out there, but I use it to browse boring websites that I don't enjoy.
I know losing interest is a symptom of depression, but can it seriously last this long? Will I spend the rest of my life doing things I don't enjoy just to pass time? Will I spend the rest of my life in some job I got only because it would support me financially?
Well, I am seeing a psychiatrist this Friday in hopes that he'll give me some medication and CBT so I can get back the passion I had six years ago. Sometimes I blame buying a computer and browsing the net as why I became this way, but other people browse the web all the time, but still seem to have a zest for life.
If this has happened to anyone else feel free to explain your situation.