A method that has a powerful impact on people is to create a + | - sheet and it's so simple to do.
so essentially instead of believing you are a failure or a quitter, you do this..well actually, instead of giving up or quitting easily, you see it through as a reward to yourself. find an award, even if it's a metaphor or something you create to make it more likely for you to fulfill the task.
You basically fill up your positives side with anything no matter how basic, fill in the negative too, but think of anything even basic for the positive. The problem is that people believe that a positive has to be a big deal to be considered worthy, like a degree or you must have an award or you it has to be amazing. Wrong. And again this is why so many people have self esteem issues. Keep adding to your positives and work on the problems in the meantime. Get excited about what you can add to the positive side and at the same time, if you're in debt or you want more friends you can see that it needs attention, you can get excited about fixing those problems, like repairing a car or a bike.
So it's kind of like, you want to drive your car, you like your car but it has issues and needs work, same with people.
Keep updating the list, revise it, make the list dynamic and much like a video game try and fix the problems in the story and enjoy adding to the positives, also, very important, be real, if negatives arise, write i down, don't fool yourself either, if you notice something wrong, write that down and start working on it.
if there is one thing you get out of making a comparitive list it's that when someone asks you what your skills are or what qualities you have, you actually now have a long list instead of saying "i don't know" or "probably not alot". But more importantly, you can look at the list and you now know that you are in fact a normal person who has alot of good qualities, more than you realised. Everytime you think you're a loser just look at the list and then the emotional impact will change your mind. Very powerful.
+ plus.............. | ............. minus -
Degree in "" ........In Debt ------- (creating a budget)
Diploma in "" ........ Few friends ----- (organising some outings and joining a club)
Certificate in "" ........Gives Up Easily ----- (working on this as of now)
Drivers License ........Impatient --------- (slowing events down and making more time to react calmly)
Kind Hearted ........Low confidence
Speaks English ........Not opinionated enough
Knows Maths
Likes Music
Great Listener
Has a budget
Rides a Bike
Good Organisation skills
Good at research
Has Empathy
Fixed a friends bike
Completed a major project in college
Goes for walks
Reads Books (Self Education)
Plays video games (helps with problem solving and strategy)
Cooks meals
Can be Funny
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and so on
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and so on
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and so on
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Suddenly you realise you're actually kinda cool. Don't complicate that. Keep it simple. You are just fine and you can add what you want with effort and energy.
All of this is really simple. And believing you are unworthy can be as simple as you repeatedly telling yourself that "you are unworthy", without even questioning the absurdity of such a comment in your mind, break down such a comment, then understand that it's not even logical. You just repeat the words and give a reason why to not try things, but it has no depth behind it. It's just as simple as copping out to avoid potential uncomfort.
Just remember to slow things down and question things, ask "why" when you feel anxious in a room, then sit down and observe how unnecessary self defeating thoughts are.
Also there is nothing wrong with being quiet. Many people are. You just have to learn to be comfortable in not being a chatterbox. You may very well be a chatter box given the right situation for you.
Please. Just relax and look at things more clearly. Also try and look at being motivated to help other people. Like, playing guitar because it will brighten up someone's day or working on a project or task because it will make another person feel good.
I think a problem can be that people focus alot on what will make themselves happy and sometimes trying to make others happy can actually enlighten you to what you REALLY want for yourself anyway. So helping others can fulfill your own direction. Where as just focussing ONLY on what you need may not unlock your purpose, sort of like chasing your tail but never finding it. So instead you shift your focus.
