Let's tell a story!

[Rembrandt Broam]

...that when they'd asked him to stay for dinner, they really did want him to stay for dinner. He did think it was a little odd when one of the villagers sprinkled herbs in his hair, claiming it was a local welcoming custom, but when one of them started to wrap strips of bacon around him, he knew it was time to get out of there. Spotting an opportunity while they were huddled together discussing what kind of wine would best bring out his flavour, he made a run for the door. He'd nearly made it when...

 

[Kato]

..and slipped right into the large iron cauldron. All the while, the villagers were roasting their marshmallows and telling the story of the first Blair they captured and how he too might taste as sweet. Then suddenly, Blair rose up out of the cauldron exclaiming “raising up a child in such a village is nasty. You illiterate freaks! You must help build them up not boil me up!”

So of course your first impression of Blair might be...

 

[vj288]

...He takes personal attacks when put into cannibalistic situations. The villagers then asked him what he was doing in there hot Coco water. Blaire, confused said "

 

[arsenalwa]

"Uhh, well... you viddy, lewdies... I like hot Coco water you know. It's real horrorshow, like, you viddy? But I really love you, droogs." And he hoped that the teenagers' Nadsat from the last book he read, A Clockwork Orange, will confuse them or something. But...

 

[vj288]

they did not hear half the stuff he said because they were too busy laughing. "Haha, he's all wet." Blaire did not like this, not one bit...

 

[Kato]

not one bit does it bother you that my feet are burning from the fire down below? Would you really care if I were to go away? When will I learn? But while he was thinking this, his feet were getting very hot from the fire below the cauldron. So he shouted out...

 

[vj288]

'It's getting hot in herre, so hot in herre." The village start to jump and bump to the sound of

YouTube - Nelly - Hot In Herre

 

[vj288]

An Australian had gotten lost on his way home from...

 

[Anti Matter]

Untill Keyboard cat came along and exploded...

YouTube - Keyboard Cat...EXPLODING!!!!

 

[vj288]

this traumatized the Aussie. He had never seen such horrors before. He couldn't...

 

[groovy]

..."You go Glen Coco!".

 

[vj288]

Unfortunately, a meeting of MAMGM (Mothers against Mean Girls Movies) was taking place nearby. He had to start running away because...

 

[vj288]

his muscles burned and his veins pumped battery acid. Then he ran some more. While running,he came across a shady character, who went by the name of...

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

...bourbon biscuit, which the Aussie gratefully accepted.

"I have some information which may be of interest you," whispered Shady conspiratorially, "but first you must answer me a riddle..."

 

[vj288]

"...that goes like this 'What crime do you get away with if you commit it, but punished for if you are caught?'" Turns out he is a master criminal, and wanted to know. The confused Aussie replied...

 

[FountainandFairfax]

The shady merchant looked surprised, and as if polishing a murky stone that proved itself to be more precious and bright than it was upon first inspection, seemed to appraise the traveller anew. “A very good answer” the merchant croaked “I think it deserves a reward!” With this, he reached into his breast-pocket and pulled out a...

 

[vj288]

a gun! This is because...

 

[Feathers]

he wanted to sell Pookah a manicure!! And hand lotion!!

 

[vj288]

But Pookah held her ground. Unfortunately, touchy feely aggressive kiosk guy didn't like her resilience...

 

[coyote]

...or her squeaky breasts, which...