lack of initiation

[NormanBates]

I know what you mean, Dottie.

Waiting for the other person to talk = awareness of being in middle of interaction / politeness of not cancelling the interaction / interjecting audible silence to show that ball is in their court.

When I'm on the receiving end of this situation and still have nothing, I usually run away.

Recently read a news article, about cartoon watching and how autistic spectrum kids pay more attention to the sound effects and periphery effects while neurotypicals pay more attention to the actual expressions and dialogue.
Did anyone else hear about this? I think they did this studying eye movements.

 

[Errordotocx]

Lack of initiation I find is one of my biggest problems. Once I get over the massive wall of initiation I find things to usually go better than I think. It's just that first initiation that I have troubles with.

 

[dottie]

I know what you mean, Dottie.

Waiting for the other person to talk = awareness of being in middle of interaction / politeness of not cancelling the interaction / interjecting audible silence to show that ball is in their court.

When I'm on the receiving end of this situation and still have nothing, I usually run away.

Recently read a news article, about cartoon watching and how autistic spectrum kids pay more attention to the sound effects and periphery effects while neurotypicals pay more attention to the actual expressions and dialogue.
Did anyone else hear about this? I think they did this studying eye movements.

that is really interesting. if you have a link to that article i would like to see it.

 

[Psychedelicious]

Initiation Complication

Ha. I don't thinK I have like ever initiated anything. NEVER. It's something I don't do. I have no sense of initiation what-so-ever. I don't think I've ever ever once asked anyone to do anything in my life. I've only ever done things because people have asked me, at that like never happens. No wonder why.... For me it's something that doesn't even exist.

I don't iniate anything. I never call anyone, I never message anyone, I never talk to anyone, etc etc. So In return none of this comes back to me. I have never even like started a conversation on msn. Now I think everyone on there thinks I hate them because I never talk to them, oops! I know someone has to start something in the first place, and I guess I feel like I don't want it to be me. I just want an opportunity, but I can't just wait for that to happen when obviously it's not, especially since no one knows I exist. I don't even know how to iniate though, and don't expect that I will learn anytime soon. Oh well, it's my own damn fault!

 

[chickenmaryjane]

I'm just too lazy to initiate anything.

 

[Joolin]

I hate it when people offer to buy me things because I'm also nervous that they will think I'm just using them or that I'm a freeloader. Or inside they will be thinking "What kind of loser won't buy themselves dinner, I guess I will have to do it!" or something like that.

You basically just summed up my entire way of thinking - constant, crushing guilt. That really is most of my social anxiety right there - I can't call friends because I have nothing to offer, so I would inevitably have to invite myself over, which would make me feel so guilty that I couldn't even enjoy myself if they said yes.

 

[princess_haru]

I hate it when people offer to buy me things because I'm also nervous that they will think I'm just using them or that I'm a freeloader.

Yeah that's exactly what I start thinking, and then I panic and can't think how to respond without giving the wrong impression ::

 

[princess_haru]

Another thing on initiation. Yesterday I was in this store and I asked a salesman where to find the office I was looking for. I was full of panic but I just walked towards him and straight up asked. I didn't even notice the customer he was already talking too until I got a puzzled answer from him. All flustered, instead of apologising to the customer, I just turned for the door and got the hell out of there.

I hate it, I don't even know what's going on around me or even what I'm saying, and I end up making a complete dick of myself.

Happens to me too - seems like I don't notice things sometimes which are obvious to other people. I had a really tiring day today (too many people) and was feeling like my batteries had run flat; I went to enter a coffee shop so I could use the toilet and couldn't tell where the entrance was for a moment because there was a big glass window at a right angle to the glass door - I nearly tried to push open the window! Would have gotten some strange looks from the people sat behind it, haha. It was like I was so tired that my ability to analyse visual information was knocked out... strange feeling!

 

[Predacon]

It really depends on the situation. Sometimes I don't have a problem iniating something, other times I go over and over in my head first to see if its really worth doing. With conversations I figure if the other person wants to talk, they'll say something to me otherwise unless there's something I want to see I'll just leave it.