keep messing up at work

LazyHermitCrab

Well-known member
Today I was leaving work and then all the sudden this guy says, "have a good day" when I'm putting trash in the trashcan. I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or the customer. I look at him and don't say anything; just stare, give a half smile, and walk out. I feel really bad now. There's always something I mess up with every shift... With my luck he will run into me again and be mad. I did this again when I was walking to a meeting. This lady says, "how are you" then I go "uhh hi" and keep walking. People just startle me... I think because growing up nobody really cared if I said anything except teachers and now it's ruining adult life. gahh :( anyone else?
 
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MotherWolff

Banned
Oh, yeah. I can definitely relate to this. Its easier to be robotic like everyone else and say "I'm good, " "I'm doing great," or something positive when you are asked "how are you?" If you tell them how you really feel, they will look at you funny or say something that will make you feel like a weirdo or strange. Its really sad, but this is how our social structure seems to work.

Yeah. I remember getting on the bus for the first time to go to dialysis in Florida. A man that also went to dialysis asked a question,"Have you been going to dialysis for a long time?" His question seemed to evaporate in thin air. I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or the guy driving the bus. He didn't even look at me. So I felt very bad and I assumed he'd be angry with me the next time I spoke with him. So, to give myself relief, I got some guts and say "Hi, how are you this morning?" or "Hey, how's it going?" It really helps break the ice. Maybe you should try that out too. Works for me. :)
 

theoutsider

Well-known member
Today I was leaving work and then all the sudden this guy says, "have a good day" when I'm putting trash in the trashcan. I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or the customer. I look at him and don't say anything; just stare, give a half smile, and walk out. I feel really bad now. There's always something I mess up with every shift... With my luck he will run into me again and be mad. I did this again when I was walking to a meeting. This lady says, "how are you" then I go "uhh hi" and keep walking. People just startle me... I think because growing up nobody really cared if I said anything except teachers and now it's ruining adult life. gahh :( anyone else?

Wow, I have the same type of experiences. Today, as I was leaving my co-worker gave me kind of a companionable punch to the shoulder and said, "Have a good weekend, man!" My reaction was kind of startled, then I mumbled "You too, see you next week." Then I kind of stood there thinking I should say something else but finally walked away feeling awkward because this friendly gesture really caught me off guard. I'm always getting startled when my co-workers talk to me. At my job we are allowed to listen to our iPods at our desks, so it's almost as if they have snuck up on me when they show up beside me. Sometimes I visibly jump and it takes me a moment to compose myself. I wouldn't say it's ruining my life but it is an annoyance.
 

Zod

Well-known member
Haha. I have the same when listening to music. Music is just distracting you from your surroundings, so you become more easily startled by things.

OP, don't worry about it. Your co-worker probably won't even remember this. I know how hard it is to let go sometimes though. Some minor embarrassing situations and conversations you just repeat in your head like a broken record and you feel "I should have done this and said that", but it's really pointless to worry about. I try to live as much as possible in the moment, and it has greatly eased out these things that kept me awake before.
 

sahxox

Well-known member
Yeah I have moments exactly like this, every shift :(
I can relate - I often am caught off guard, completely startled when coworkers talk to me. Last shift some girl asked me if i needed help, im like "i need what?" and shes like dw.
Lol i felt so rude and embarassed, especially as the boss and another worker were inbetween us during this exhange. I apologised later saying i didnt hear, which i didnt... It takes me a while to understand others unfortunately... Especially her, as she has one of those drony voices where ur not sure if shes talking to u or not. It sucks cos its like ur on lag and u feel retarded :/
I think the bet advice, as someones mentioned, is that alot of the time, people won notice our 'mistakes' like we do. Eg the same thing happened with anothrt guy, and he ne t time he saw me it was alll smiles and niceness
I reckon those of us with sp are hypersensitive to our social environments, and I try to be aware of this so I dont feel too bad when thingd like this happen..
 

Richey

Well-known member
Today I was leaving work and then all the sudden this guy says, "have a good day" when I'm putting trash in the trashcan. I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or the customer. I look at him and don't say anything; just stare, give a half smile, and walk out. I feel really bad now. There's always something I mess up with every shift... With my luck he will run into me again and be mad. I did this again when I was walking to a meeting. This lady says, "how are you" then I go "uhh hi" and keep walking. People just startle me... I think because growing up nobody really cared if I said anything except teachers and now it's ruining adult life. gahh :( anyone else?

yup, it's definintely got to do with upbringing and your interactions with family and any friends and environments growing up. it's just the luck of draw, also your own personality affects your interactions. But you can always improve with practice and maybe just prepare a few responses on a notepad, think of some simple responses will help.

I find a lot of people aren't that self-conscious. they are locked into their own world and any interactions started by them is self fulfilling to them in a selfish way. not always, but a lot of the time. something about always having ego. which means they probably don't care if you saud "uhh hi" or if you said a long response. Because they do things for one reason, to suit their needs.

In any conversation what happens most of the time? People want to talk about their interests or themselves. "I" is one of the most commonly used words in conversation.

So when you look at the big picture, does any of it really matter? How you respond doesn't really matter, because people usually are locked into their own worlds with tunnel vision. Because they aren't as self-conscious as other people, and they won't be as sensitive at reacting to things like someone with anxiety would be. Most things wash over confident people pretty easily.

Yes, nice people will interact with you. But so many people have rutheless tunnel vision ego that I just wouldn't care, they probably forgot about any incidents a minutes after it was over and moved on.
 
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Nanita

Well-known member
These things happen to me all the time. It feels so awkward. People say something and I don´t hear it or if I hear it I don´t have a quick answer. I´m so awkward that I can´t even embrace people´s friendliness.
 

Zod

Well-known member
So when you look at the big picture, does any of it really matter? How you respond doesn't really matter, because people usually are locked into their own worlds with tunnel vision. Because they aren't as self-conscious as other people, and they won't be as sensitive at reacting to things like someone with anxiety would be. Most things wash over confident people pretty easily.

Yes, nice people will interact with you. But so many people have rutheless tunnel vision ego that I just wouldn't care, they probably forgot about any incidents a minutes after it was over and moved on.

Isn't that the opposite of ego though? I'd say if they were heavy ego's they'd continue to think about it and let it dictate their further actions towards you, or think "What a loser that guy was, I won't interact with him again!". I think if someone sees you being a bit awkward, but accepts you anyway, and does not dwell on it, he/she is not an egotistic person. Of course that person could also be ignorant, or sees you as a means to an end, but that doesn't always have to be the case.
 
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