Just waiting to die

[Waybuloo]

What gives me the will to live when I feel like you are feeling now, are the healthy choices.. Going out for a run instead of beating myself up. Eating well (SO IMPORTANT... Sometimes the worst feelings are due to brain inflammation from diet, which messes up production of neurotransmitters, and has nothing to do with your emotional self. Only sometimes). Taking care of yourself, despite the fact that you feel like you don't want to. Little choices, like choosing to get dressed and prepared in the morning instead of staying in bed. Those are the things that remind me why I'm alive. The healthy choice seems less appealing but you will feel better for it.

What causes brain inflammation? I know fried food is probably not good for this. Spicy stuff? I can't not eat something like a biscuit, icecream or fruit in any given day, I like a sweet fix. What foods to avoid to prevent brain inflammation?

 

[Eristelle]

Life has no meaning in my opinion.

 

[SilentBird]

I could die any moment and I wouldn't be bothered about it and I would be relieved. If that really happened, would I feel that way? I keep living, for no reason, yet I do, just for the inexplicable force of wanting to live.

 

[Kiwong]

Happiness has rudely jumped up and slapped me on the face. I want more of it.

 

[Gaucho]

Happiness has rudely jumped up and slapped me on the face. I want more of it.

hehe, i like your words.

 

[SilentBird]

Kiwong, I am impressed by what you have overcome, truly courageous.

 

[SilentBird]

Oh to cease to exist, or to never have existed, no one would ever know me or care. To be in that place where I never was, I am aware of this place, but when I am there, I am not aware, is so enticing.

Yet I trudge along in this desert, barely nourished. Life is such a struggle, just to even survive, let alone feel alive.

What can I do to feel alive, motivated, enthusiatic? Now, being with my hurt, fear and emptiness is all I have. What can I make of it? If only I could fully express it, be creative and make something beautiful of it.

 

[knowlife]

waiting to die is exactly how my life feels. it seems like everyone gets to have these exciting, full lives and all i get is another night on the computer looking up self help stuff. normally on friday i talk myself in to sidesui but by the end of my shift at work i chicken out. the biggest mistake ive ever made was being born.

 

[Kiwong]

Kiwong, I am impressed by what you have overcome, truly courageous.

Thanks SilentBird, appreciate it. I missed your comment first time around.

 

[kilojoule]

I wouldnt explore death as an option until I had truly exhausted every single oppertunity available. Thats virtually impossible to do. You always have a choice. You just decide what you want and then you try absolutely everything to get it. Nobody forces you to live the life you do. You just need to think outside the box.

If I decided that I was going to die then that would open new doors of its own. Eg. Well Ive nothing to lose so I might aswell go to that bbq. Ill do that bunjee jump, go skydiving,base jumping. Ill take out a massive loan and travel the world.

 

[kilojoule]

I wouldnt explore death as an option until I had truly exhausted every single oppertunity available. Thats virtually impossible to do. You always have a choice. You just decide what you want and then you try absolutely everything to get it. Nobody forces you to live the life you do. You just need to think outside the box.

If I decided that I was going to die then that would open new doors of its own. Eg. Well Ive nothing to lose so I might aswell go to that bbq. Ill do that bunjee jump, go skydiving,base jumping. Ill take out a massive loan and travel the world.