i read somebodys post on sa uk about "just be yourself" and hearing people say this as advice and the person on there replying by saying i would if i knew what myself was. I kind of feel like this too, in a way, which is so annoying because i am a quiet, shy guy (at home) so am just being myself in the shop iguess but still my mind comes up with these problems.
"just be yourself" but i am (sigh)
- Thread starter waine
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Lonelykitsune
Well-known member
Yeah that advice doesn't seem to work.
I wonder if I'd even have a self if it wasn't for the SA.
I wonder if I'd even have a self if it wasn't for the SA.
Dark_Angel
Well-known member
i think that being our selves sometimes works and other maybe dont work that much , but i rather be always my self because thats who am with my assets ( almost nothing ) and lacks ( millions ) . sometimes maybe the others or the situation push u to be not urself but i think that we always have to be ourselves even if many times u aren't payed back for that
B
Beatrice
Guest
Well, for me, being myself constitutes saying what is on my mind - which of course, doesn't always add up to nice-nice. Sometimes I feel that I don't agree with what someone is saying and I want to say so. But of course, my SA often severely limits my ability to do so, so I often just nod or say nothing. The biggest issue I have with this disorder is being able to speak my mind, and most of all, confrontations. Attending a boarding school and living with a house full of girls all about the same age as me was..... just short of hell. There were many times I needed to speak up and of course didn't, and then suffered inwardly because of it. The few times I DID, well, I payed in other ways, with more torment from the girl I spoke up to. It always resulted in anxiety, guilt, depression, etc. So, yeah, being myself would be speaking my mind and being assertive. Which feels impossible with SA. Therefore, I can't be myself until I beat it.
It's not "just be yourself and you'll beat it," no - it's beat it and you'll be yourself.
It's not "just be yourself and you'll beat it," no - it's beat it and you'll be yourself.
The problem isn't so much who or what your 'self' is as the way you interact with others. Think of it as changing an adapter for a USB cable instead of replacing the motherboard.
I am not following what that has to do with people telling you to 'just be yourself'.
Deus_Ex_Lemur
Well-known member
Some witch trials in Salem may disagree with that, but... not to get into anything I kind of understand what you're saying I think...
The sentiment of being yourself is yeah, true, but - there's steps before that to BE yourself. To freely be yourself around others.
First you must know yourself, then understand yourself, then believe in yourself, and love yourself. Or like. Its not so simple to "just be you" and everything's honky dory or ppl wouldnt have SA/other disorders. Just being yourself isnt the solution it's the goal/the end. Something to work towards being and acting. Imo. The root of much of the problem is NOT being able to just be yourself, being comfortable or even knowing yourself too. A lot of ppl dont like themselves sadly. It's a vague thing to "just be yourself". A lot goes into that.
He's dead serious. Being an eggplant isn't as easy as it looks. :
:I think this kind of advice is easy to give,easy to say,in practice is a whole another story,I have seen a lot of people say that we shouldnt stereotype some people,give a second chance,but in practice they dont act like that,they only act like that to persons they want something from,I even saw this on this site.
Advices like you dont have to depend on others for happiness,right cut ALL contact with people tell me how anyone who is sane could be happy,they could pretend,but we all need someone to be happy.
Me, myself strugle with this,I try to forgive people who really made my life a hell,but sometimes its really hard and I have my weak times,but holding this
"grudge" isnt good,so sometimes what someone says isnt that important but what they do,in practice is a whole other ball game.
Advices like you dont have to depend on others for happiness,right
cut ALL contact with people tell me how anyone who is sane could be happy,they could pretend,but we all need someone to be happy.Me, myself strugle with this,I try to forgive people who really made my life a hell,but sometimes its really hard and I have my weak times,but holding this
"grudge" isnt good,so sometimes what someone says isnt that important but what they do,in practice is a whole other ball game.
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GloomySunday
Well-known member
Human are, by nature, complex creatures and are mercurial.
At times I am low, high, indifferent, engaged, hard working, lazy, dark, light, funny, hateful, wise, stupid, amazing and crass.
'Being yourself' can be any or all of these things - it's a strange one, it really is!
At times I am low, high, indifferent, engaged, hard working, lazy, dark, light, funny, hateful, wise, stupid, amazing and crass.
'Being yourself' can be any or all of these things - it's a strange one, it really is!
BlueDays
1
The problem with "being myself" is that I WAS being myself as a young child when I was bullied/made fun of/teased at school.
So I was made to think there must be many things WRONG with "myself" because why else would "myself" have attracted all that bullying?
Ever since then I have just been afraid to be "myself", therefore avoiding being bullied/teased again.
So I was made to think there must be many things WRONG with "myself" because why else would "myself" have attracted all that bullying?
Ever since then I have just been afraid to be "myself", therefore avoiding being bullied/teased again.