Is this curable?

Confuseddd

Well-known member
I feel like i build myself up, just so i can get knocked down again. I thought i was making great progress with myself, but almost like its out of my control i get put down afew pegs. I simply cant control how i feel anymore, and i never know when its gonna happen. Today i woke up and it seemed like i was falling back into old habits. I immediately went to the bathroom to the look in the mirror after i got out of bed , i am paranoid about whatever my brother says. Him and his girlfriend were looking at eachother and laughing and i couldnt help but start to feel horrible anxiety. I was doing good, i thought i was working upwards, but apparently i cant control when i am gonna be knocked right back down again. Is this something that can be cured? Is it worth fighting with? I have spent so long fighting with myself and my anxiety, and it seems like im fighting a losing battle. Im extremely frustrated..
 

Feathers

Well-known member
Hey Confusedd!

Maybe read the book The Happiness Trap -? It's nicely explained that sometimes you just need to accept yourself, accept having a bad day...

If you live with your brother and his girlfriend, that can be quite frustrating if you're (still or again) single..

Some couples can also 'exclude' others and have 'in jokes'.. okay some friends can also have 'in jokes'.. outsiders don't understand, and even if it was explained it maybe wouldn't be funny at all..

They can be laughing at their private little jokes and it may have nothing to do with you, believe me!!

(Or even if it did, so what?? Laughter and happiness prolong life, your brother can be thankful to you for making him laugh, next time tell him to give you $50 for prescription laughter!! :))
 
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I suggest reading a book called The Happiness Trap. I suggest looking up scapegoating too and see if that is what is happening to you with your brother and his GF and others.
 

punklove

Well-known member
Don't worry I know how you feel.
Sometimes it's really tempting to give up but...
Just remember "That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
No matter what you may think you do have the ability to overcome whatever challenges in your life that you want to.
I believe in you :) even if you don't believe in yourself. ^^
 

Confuseddd

Well-known member
Thank you everyone i appreciate all the words and will look into some of your suggestions. I am better now i had a good day, but i was scared for alittle while there.



Hey Confuseddd!
Maybe read the book The Happiness Trap -? It's nicely explained that sometimes you just need to accept yourself, accept having a bad day...

If you live with your brother and his girlfriend, that can be quite frustrating if you're (still or again) single..

Some couples can also 'exclude' others and have 'in jokes'.. okay some friends can also have 'in jokes'.. outsiders don't understand, and even if it was explained it maybe wouldn't be funny at all..

They can be laughing at their private little jokes and it may have nothing to do with you, believe me!!

(Or even if it did, so what?? Laughter and happiness prolong life, your brother can be thankful to you for making him laugh, next time tell him to give you $50 for prescription laughter!! :))



i admire you...

You have some of the most caring and kind words. and i just have a gut feeling that you truely care.. So thank you, really you are something else
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
Hey confusedd, it sure is worth figthing.

I'm not sure this is curable, but controllable. Shyness anxiety at some level is there for a reason.

My analogy is that it is worth keeping on throwing yourself at the walls the world puts in our way even if it hard, because sometimes you will crash through and live brilliant days.

It is possible.
 

Confuseddd

Well-known member
Hey confusedd, it sure is worth figthing.

I'm not sure this is curable, but controllable. Shyness anxiety at some level is there for a reason.

My analogy is that it is worth keeping on throwing yourself at the walls the world puts in our way even if it hard, because sometimes you will crash through and live brilliant days.

It is possible.

thank you man, i was so nervous today because of how i started out but it turned out to be one of my better days (thanks to my bestfriend)

Hehh took him an hour to get me to leave the house and go to the gym. lol
 

hoddesdon

Well-known member
Any sort of development process involves backward steps at times. If a backward step brings you to a point still above the last one, then you are progressing.
 

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
I'm really glad that your day turned around :) And I second that! Habits can be changed but you have to believe they can be. Especially if they have your focus

And yes keep throwing yourself at the walls! Great analogy Kiwong!

I'm not sure if this is how it is for you, but I've began to try and take control also of my SA and this last month I have been a 'step back' as well, feeling pretty bad and expecting too much. Maybe a part of this, is just reintroduction to reality without fantasy/escapism? Facing reality again after having all of our defenses up is enough to shake us up a bit!
 

Confuseddd

Well-known member
I'm really glad that your day turned around :) And I second that! Habits can be changed but you have to believe they can be. Especially if they have your focus

And yes keep throwing yourself at the walls! Great analogy Kiwong!

I'm not sure if this is how it is for you, but I've began to try and take control also of my SA and this last month I have been a 'step back' as well, feeling pretty bad and expecting too much. Maybe a part of this, is just reintroduction to reality without fantasy/escapism? Facing reality again after having all of our defenses up is enough to shake us up a bit!

yeah true that, i know its been rough for me. its just i was doing so good , and so random.... i wake up and without even thinking i am feeling self concious and anxious and blehhh. i was SO scared because i felt like i had lost control completely. X-( glad i found my way , thanks for the post :)
 
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