is the f yous attitude the only way

T

THE-INTROVERT

Well-known member
is the i dont care what people think of me the only way i mean if people are so sad to look down on quiet and anxoius people it means thier the ones with a real problem and must be heartless i hvae never looked down on someone ever in my life i dont understand why people are so nasty in this world my attitude is if people are going to be like that then f them
 
G

guessed

1
No it's not the way. I tried the F U attitude and you just end up being very defensive and bitter. It's not the way to live your life.

Instead, take the time to reconnect with the things that matter to you. Your hopes, dreams, goals and values. Get a clear picture in your mind of what those are. Then seek out others who are like minded and will be supportive.

Trust me, you will find others like you.

The more you get a good foundation of supportive people, the easier it will become to discard the obnoxious and rude comments made by miserable people.
 
CosmicNeurotica

CosmicNeurotica

Banned
"Your hopes, dreams, goals and values. Get a clear picture in your mind of what those are. Then seek out others who are like minded and will be supportive."

Oh, is that all you have to do?
I had no idea.
 
dottie

dottie

Well-known member
ToolShuggah said:
"Your hopes, dreams, goals and values. Get a clear picture in your mind of what those are. Then seek out others who are like minded and will be supportive."

Oh, is that all you have to do?
I had no idea.
Click to expand...

apparently toolshuggah adheres to the f u attitude.
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
I care too much what people think, usually those that are critical of me. That is a big part of my anxiety.
 
Ignace

Ignace

Well-known member
I think the F-you way is the only way. Other people will always look down on u, even if u never did on them. People are bad. I use the I don't care attitude, but it doesn't always work. I still care too much what people think of me, but I'm only making it worse telling people to f off if they can't do anything else then make me feel bad. Or not ..
 
K

Kinetik

Well-known member
I'm willing to try it and tell all of you to eff off, but I don't want to get banned. Maybe I can practice on someone who won't take it personally. Any takers? :D
 
Dronee

Dronee

1
If you've to be that aggressive in denying that others' opinions don't matter, then you're just kidding yourself.
 
Ignace

Ignace

Well-known member
Dronee said:
If you've to be that aggressive in denying that others' opinions don't matter, then you're just kidding yourself.
Click to expand...

Denying other people's opinion makes it sound egoïstic. Don't u think that thinking you're better then some one who is more quiet, .. is egoïstic ? the f you 'technique' is an exception. I rather be 'selfish', if you can call it that, then feel miserable because of other people. People on here, including me, have felt that way too much already. Don't tell me people who say things like: "Wow, are you always that quiet ?" are helping you. They wanna proove they are 'better' then you, THEY are selfish. Kinda confusing post probably, but give me your best shot.::p:
 
G

guessed

1
I've spent a lot of time and energy wondering how to deal with obnoxious people and their nosey, insulting comments.

The key is you don't. Don't play the game at all. Those comments are nothing but their attempt to bait you into a losing insult match. They've played it before, they get their friends involved. They get you all riled up and bounce you around like a hacky sack. Once they're done, they drop you and move onto the next person.

While you're thinking of ways to create an FU attitude or quick comebacks, they're out laughing and having a great time with friends, not thinking about you in the slightest.

Btw, trying to create the FU attitude is just another version of letting them win. Altering your behavior to defend yourself against theirs.

You have to see their game for what it is. Its nothing but a game for their bored, small minds, realize that it is not personal , and recognize that they target you because you are easy to manipulate and they can always count on getting a good emotional response from you.

You can say that I'm making it sound too easy or I don't know what I'm talking about but it's really that simple.
 
CosmicNeurotica

CosmicNeurotica

Banned
Yeah it's true.
We're easy to manipulate, and they take advantage.
Others can always sense our weaknesses just as we can others.
I don't know what to do other than get drunk. So that's what I'm gonna do.
 
Dronee

Dronee

1
Ignace said:
Denying other people's opinion makes it sound egoïstic. Don't u think that thinking you're better then some one who is more quiet, .. is egoïstic ? the f you 'technique' is an exception. I rather be 'selfish', if you can call it that, then feel miserable because of other people. People on here, including me, have felt that way too much already. Don't tell me people who say things like: "Wow, are you always that quiet ?" are helping you. They wanna proove they are 'better' then you, THEY are selfish. Kinda confusing post probably, but give me your best shot.::p:
Click to expand...

I'm not sure how to give you a 'shot' since I agree with you... that's not the point of my post. I meant that if you need to be aggressively indifferent so that other people's insults don't matter, then deep down you're probably still affected by it. If you're truly indifferent, then the insults barely register in your mind.

As for people who say "why you're so quiet?" it depends on the person himself/herself. Some of them may just be curious and some may actually want to help you, just that they don't know how... And of course, a few are just trying to kick you when you're down.

I think the way we phrase things is important. "F U" is a very bad way of putting it. Maybe it's mean or irrelevant, but hmm... the lyrics "You would cry too if it happened to you..." suddenly pops in my mind haha... well maybe that's more sad than funny... :(
 
Dronee

Dronee

1
guessed said:
I've spent a lot of time and energy wondering how to deal with obnoxious people and their nosey, insulting comments.

The key is you don't. Don't play the game at all. Those comments are nothing but their attempt to bait you into a losing insult match. They've played it before, they get their friends involved. They get you all riled up and bounce you around like a hacky sack. Once they're done, they drop you and move onto the next person.

While you're thinking of ways to create an FU attitude or quick comebacks, they're out laughing and having a great time with friends, not thinking about you in the slightest.

Btw, trying to create the FU attitude is just another version of letting them win. Altering your behavior to defend yourself against theirs.

You have to see their game for what it is. Its nothing but a game for their bored, small minds, realize that it is not personal , and recognize that they target you because you are easy to manipulate and they can always count on getting a good emotional response from you.

You can say that I'm making it sound too easy or I don't know what I'm talking about but it's really that simple.
Click to expand...

Very well said. That's what I was trying to say, but I couldn't find the words to say it.
 
Psychedelicious

Psychedelicious

1
Fuсk you!

I think the whole "Fuсk You" attitude sounds like a good idea in theory, but it's too hard to actually work, for me atleast. It's way too hard to actually not care about things, and especially it seems when you're trying not to. Sometimes you have days of it, not caring about anything, and it's great, but that doesn't happen all the time. I think it's more important to not let things bother you, rather than not caring about them at all.
 
D

da_illest101

Well-known member
I tried the F everyone, didn't work for me, i'm too kind of a person, it felt too much like me trying to be something i'm not.
 
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