Is it really better to love and lose?

[Confuseddd]

Great responses!... NOW
Lets throw in the factor of people who commit suicide because of a loss like this? Are they just weak willed? How can you tell them that loving and losing was better then never at all? Would they have killed themselves without love? and how come they were unable to "grow" from the experience as is suggested here? Is this just proof that this argument truely can go either way and no one argument for any side could win?

Also all of this is going on the assumption that true love is real. For all we know true love could be a human made concept. Personally I believe love is like any other emotion; Chemicals in the brain, just much more powerful. And love comes and goes, just as happiness and sadness, and excitement.

 

[Danfalc]

How can you tell them that loving and losing was better then never at all?

If they are dead then you cant tell them anything lol. Still I don't think using people committing suicide is the the best example, who knows if they could of gone on to meet someone else if they had carried on. I'm not saying everyone ends up with a fairy tale ending...sadly we all know that's not true as life can just shaft some people. Also if your trying to factor in things like that you need to be balanced and factor In all the people who did meet their soul mate and grew old together.

This really is one of those things where there is no right,wrong or winning answer, it's all down to personal opinion and what the person feels is right for them.

 

[JamesSmith]

Great responses!... NOW
Lets throw in the factor of people who commit suicide because of a loss like this? Are they just weak willed? How can you tell them that loving and losing was better then never at all? Would they have killed themselves without love?

Most people kill themselves because of anxiety and/or depression. There are far more people that commit suicide because of depression with other aspects of life than losing a significant other for whatever reason.

 

[Fighter86]

I really don't want to be in love unless I am sure that person is a good fit, eg: of good character, share same interests etc. Anything else and I would be contended to just have the person as a good friend. No sense complicating my life, I am sure I wouldn't be able to survive a heartbreak, not with everything else that is going on in my life.

 

[panicsurvivor]

Of course it is better to have loved and then lost. When you are in love you get to feel like every thing is perfect. You get to feel invincible. Then you get to feel the pain, and loss. It's one of the greatest lessons in life that you will get. As far as the people that kill themselves over it. Well..... that's not loves fault. That is the person's fault. The pain from losing love doesn't go away, but it changes. It becomes almost a positive thing. I look back on my broken heart, as a lesson that I learned. You don't stay an anguished ball of misery forever. One mistake that almost all of us make, especially with our first love, is build our entire life around our relationship. Life is based on that other person. We feel that we are no longer two but are now one. This is not the case, you are two people, and you should be living life for you not for them. You shouldn't abandon everything else, and spend ALL of your time with them. Usually in the end this is what causes you to break up. TWO people that are together because they are partners. They live their lives for themselves and they share with eachother. That is what I consider to be a much healthier and happier relationship. If someone kills themselves over losing their love, they had problems before. Killing yourself is not an option. And doing it over a breakup is incredibly selfish and cowardly. Killing yourself over your SA or AVP or Depression or whatever, is still wrong, but much more understandable. They are sicknesses, and can make you feel like you are in hell. Losing your relationship, is incredibly painful, but if you are actually considering killing yourself over it, you have other issues going on. Love is something that everyone should feel, and as many times as possible.

 

[Miami]

where im at right now, im starting to think that it'll be better to just be alone.

 

[Confuseddd]

Of course it is better to have loved and then lost. When you are in love you get to feel like every thing is perfect. You get to feel invincible. Then you get to feel the pain, and loss. It's one of the greatest lessons in life that you will get. As far as the people that kill themselves over it. Well..... that's not loves fault. That is the person's fault. The pain from losing love doesn't go away, but it changes. It becomes almost a positive thing. I look back on my broken heart, as a lesson that I learned. You don't stay an anguished ball of misery forever. One mistake that almost all of us make, especially with our first love, is build our entire life around our relationship. Life is based on that other person. We feel that we are no longer two but are now one. This is not the case, you are two people, and you should be living life for you not for them. You shouldn't abandon everything else, and spend ALL of your time with them. Usually in the end this is what causes you to break up. TWO people that are together because they are partners. They live their lives for themselves and they share with eachother. That is what I consider to be a much healthier and happier relationship. If someone kills themselves over losing their love, they had problems before. Killing yourself is not an option. And doing it over a breakup is incredibly selfish and cowardly. Killing yourself over your SA or AVP or Depression or whatever, is still wrong, but much more understandable. They are sicknesses, and can make you feel like you are in hell. Losing your relationship, is incredibly painful, but if you are actually considering killing yourself over it, you have other issues going on. Love is something that everyone should feel, and as many times as possible.

Hope you dont think I was referring to ME killing myself?

That said I liked your response. I heard this quote in a movie I watched recently.. "The sweet just ain't as sweet without the bitter."

Very true, but all opinions aside its however you look at it.
Its Perspective.. Losing love is relative to who ever lost it, thats the conclusion I have come to. You might think it is one way,I.E your above comment, and someone else might think it is another way, and you cant tell them they are wrong and you are right. Even if your way is perhaps a better alternative. Also losing love causes pain, just as SA does, so to justify one but not the other doesn't make sense. Suicide mostly boils down to depression, which is also relative to the individual.

 

[panicsurvivor]

Hope you dont think I was referring to ME killing myself?

That said I liked your response. I heard this quote in a movie I watched recently.. "The sweet just ain't as sweet without the bitter."

Very true, but all opinions aside its however you look at it.
Its Perspective.. Losing love is relative to who ever lost it, thats the conclusion I have come to. You might think it is one way,I.E your above comment, and someone else might think it is another way, and you cant tell them they are wrong and you are right. Even if your way is perhaps a better alternative. Also losing love causes pain, just as SA does, so to justify one but not the other doesn't make sense. Suicide mostly boils down to depression, which is also relative to the individual.

True enough. I might have been a little black and white about it. I myself entertained the Idea of killing myself after my first relationship. I had been living a very codependent life. Everything was built around my girlfriend. The relationship that I am in now is much more healthy. But I have to admit, I am not in love with my girlfriend now the way I was in love with my first. I am doubtful that I will ever love anyone like that again in my life. I also had a very dear friend blow his head off because he couldn't get his girlfriend back. He was unable to let go, even after a whole year. I still get angry that he did this. But I still stick by my response. I think that being in love is well worth everything else. You can't let the bad things that might happen get in the way of living your life, and going for the things that make you happy. If I did that I would be shut in, again.