Is he just shy or not interested?

SM1010

Well-known member
So, allow me to ask a question to all of the shy men around here. Is there any chance after 3 casual dates, that you would still be too nervous to kiss your date in a public place?

Yes. And not just in public places, anywhere.

Being afraid to make sexual advances of any type (kissing or more) has led to countless women losing interest in me.

I've been drunk in bed with very attractive women (on more than one occasion!) and still been too afraid to kiss them. It's pretty sad.

These days I realize that If I don't make a move within a couple of dates they'll lose interest, so I try to force myself to do it. It's still terrifying for me though. I think it's mainly the lack of experience that causes the fear. A really bad or awkward first kiss can and will turn a lot of women off too.
 
Last edited:

Durke8

New member
Sounds like he is not attracted to you. Majority of men that are attracted to women can't WAIT to get affection and SOME. Dump him as anything romantic, you are wasting your time. The feeling has to be mutual. :)
 

Durke8

New member
Just ask to kiss her, hesitate then gently do it, NOT on the cheek. Its easy, once you feel it, it gets more comfortable and you want more and more.......::p:
 

A86

Well-known member
So, allow me to ask a question to all of the shy men around here. Is there any chance after 3 casual dates, that you would still be too nervous to kiss your date in a public place?


high chance if it was me.
inability to express my emotions and desires, I would end up being difficult to read intention wise as I battle my internal demons.

but that's just me, not him. just saying it is possible to be completely attracted to someone and not obey social expectations.

if he is like me, you wouldn't believe how appreciative I would be for you to stick it out for a little bit longer to allow me some time to get myself together and feel more comfortable expressing my feelings. communicating your position and opening up first would definitely make me feel more comfortable or at least try to explain myself.
 

InvisaLady

Well-known member
Well, we made it to date #4 and he told me about how he was very recently burned by what he thought was a "nice girl" over something completely stupid. He has already accepted my offer to go out this weekend, so I am having a hard time reading the mixed signals. We both have a really great time and laugh a lot. Not once has he turned down an offer to go out with me. I am really hoping he just does not want to rush into something and get his heart broken again.
 

1BlackSheep

Well-known member
Glad you're giving it some more time, InvisaLady! I really don't think he'd keep going out with you if there was zero interest. Hope you continue to enjoy each other's company and that it evolves into a great relationship! :)
 

InvisaLady

Well-known member
Interesting new developments for anyone who is following this.
During our last "date" I mentioned that I was thinking about changing my profile status. He got a bit pink in the face and giggled a bit, but said that he was okay with that. He also told me that I was the nicest, most honest woman he's been out with. The next day he asked me out for the next Saturday.
During the date he also seemed to be checking if I would like to see a movie with him.
A day after or so, he pulled most of his info off of his profile.

Ah, the plot thickens!
 

truffleshuffle

Well-known member
Interesting new developments for anyone who is following this.
During our last "date" I mentioned that I was thinking about changing my profile status. He got a bit pink in the face and giggled a bit, but said that he was okay with that. He also told me that I was the nicest, most honest woman he's been out with. The next day he asked me out for the next Saturday.
During the date he also seemed to be checking if I would like to see a movie with him.
A day after or so, he pulled most of his info off of his profile.

Ah, the plot thickens!
SO is pulling the info off his profile good or bad? I mean it sounds like your dates are going well though.
 

truffleshuffle

Well-known member
At this point, I would think good. If I am interpreting this correctly, I think it means he does not want to be contacted by any new women.
That sounds like a positive sign. You have to be doing something right you guys keep going on on dates and he hasn't run away screaming lol. I hope it keeps going like its going for you.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
A day after or so, he pulled most of his info off of his profile.
Yes, this is a fantastic sign. He likes you and wants no other contact.

This is such a great development, InvisaLady. I remember you saying that you could never find a man and here you are having a date with a guy who seems to be really great for you. I'm happy (and also a little jealous!) that it's turned around for you.
 

InvisaLady

Well-known member
Update.
I just got back from our 7nth date. We went to see a movie and we both enjoyed ourselves. When he dropped me off at home, I decided it was now or never. We ended up having an awkward hug in his car and I kissed him on the cheek. Not much but it's a start. Directly after that we made plans to go out for dinner next week. I think he is very fond of me but just really, really shy.
 

SM1010

Well-known member
He's very lucky you're patient/understanding. Most women are turned off and delegate you to the friend zone if you wait forever to make a move.

I have plenty experience with that.
 

surewhynot

Well-known member
Update.
I just got back from our 7nth date. We went to see a movie and we both enjoyed ourselves. When he dropped me off at home, I decided it was now or never. We ended up having an awkward hug in his car and I kissed him on the cheek. Not much but it's a start. Directly after that we made plans to go out for dinner next week. I think he is very fond of me but just really, really shy.

Yay :applause:
 

InvisaLady

Well-known member
Finally to all of those who said that I had no chance. I will tell you, it took about 12 dates but he finally kissed me, and not just a little one either.
 

1BlackSheep

Well-known member
Awwww, now aren't you glad you gave him a chance! :inlove: Glad to hear that things are progressing nicely!
 
Top