Is anyone out there easily offended?

[RN3]

I GET SO OFFENDED ABOUT LITTLE OR NOTHING. I hate constructive criticism even though I say I don't mind it. When it happens I take it as a personal attack although I can often see thee other persons perspective. I always think I'm right and dare anyone to challege me. If you do I get loud and raise my voice as if that makes my opinion right. I don't like to be corrected (even when it's done in the most diplomatic way) and when I am I feel defeated. I wonder if this goes hand and hand with SA. Any Thoughts

 

[idontknow.]

i thought we all were. everything people say is taken as an offense by me. i twist everything up in my mind and force myself to think the person doesn't like me. when i was sick a couple days ago, my parents came into my bedroom to check up on me a couple times. i just felt like total crap about myself and just harbored this crazy contempt towards them, because i kept thinking they had plotted something before they came in, that they had talked badly about me or something. when they DIDN'T come in, when they were outside doing normal things, i kept thinking they hated me. even a completely innocent transitory glance from a stranger will make me think the person doesn't like me

 

[hoddesdon]

Hypersensitivity to criticism is characteristic of social phobia. I would have thought firewalk's example tends to contradict his conclusion.

 

[NickyNacker]

Yes, definitely. I'm 90 percent sure I have Avoidant Personality Disorder and I have a huge fear of rejection or anything negative being said to me at all. I get really depressed and think everyone hates me. Especially whoever is at the other end of the incident.

 

[superfluouslyme]

I GET SO OFFENDED ABOUT LITTLE OR NOTHING. I hate constructive criticism even though I say I don't mind it. When it happens I take it as a personal attack although I can often see thee other persons perspective. I always think I'm right and dare anyone to challege me. If you do I get loud and raise my voice as if that makes my opinion right. I don't like to be corrected (even when it's done in the most diplomatic way) and when I am I feel defeated. I wonder if this goes hand and hand with SA. Any Thoughts

Oh heavens, yes! I have a hard time swallowing criticism, constructive or otherwise. I remember having one-on-one sit-downs with teachers or my former boss and being terrified, knowing that constructive criticism was coming my way. I know in my head that they are just trying to sort me out and point me in the right direction, but I react as if they are taking cheap shots at my character and self worth and baring all of my flaws for the world. I get really emotional during these kinds of meetings. Half of the time, I am trying to hold back tears and only answer with head nods. The more self confidence I have gained, the easier it has become to accept criticism as pointers and not personal attacks, but the emotional side still breaks through from time to time.

 

[Kiwong]

I am senstive to even the possibility of criticism. I avoid it all costs.

 

[theslowesthand]

I react badly to criticism that's said in the wrong "tone". If somebody criticises me in a honest, straight-foward way (which is rare), then i'm okay with it. But it's when it's mixed-up with other things that causes problems for me - such as they criticize me in a angry outburst, or they use puns/humour/etc. I definately take myself way too seriously, and so even a "gentle ribbing" I often take offense to.

But people are emotional creatures, and it's probably expecting too much to expect the average joe-blogg to "pussyfoot" around my feelings. Which means most criticisms will remain being said with various "emotional undertones", which I unfortunately am very sensitive to, and react emotionally to.

Edit: I think probably what's happening, is that they're words, along with their tone, causes me to interpret it as the "worst-case" possible meaning, and then triggers some of my DEEP DEEP **** that I have had since childhood. That is probably why I react so strongly to certain criticisms from people (I sometimes get enraged/etc).

 

[harlseq]

I don't mind criticism at all as long as it's done in a polite and well-meaning way.

To be honest, I hate it when people refrain from criticism and instead take it out on me in other more passive ways...

In other words, as a victim of SA and AvPD, I can understand and respond to people much easier when they directly tell me what they think, rather than trying to decipher and dwell on what they might be thinking if they beat around the bush.

 

[Phoenixx]

I'm definitely easily offended. I usually hate criticism and even being corrected. I'd rather figure out my own mistakes than have someone else point them out to me. I don't know why, maybe because I feel like a failure if someone does point out that I made a mistake? All I know is that I fear making mistakes in front of people. This leads me into constantly second-guessing myself if I did something right.

 

[EscapeArtist]

That was months ago. Now fast forward to a few days ago, he reveals to me that he doesn't like me and that he has an especially short fuse with me (threatens to kick me out if he hears a peep of music in the halls, etc) and that it was probably because we have very different views on homelessness. I was surprised.

Jesus..

 

[Snowdrop]

I get offended so easily that even at the same time I know it's a joke, it also hurts because some part of me is always thinking it's an insult. It feels like I'm constantly poised, tensing up for someone to say something to me and I'll have to 'defend' myself somehow. No wonder I despise conversation, and no one tries to talk to me :/

 

[Hamelech]

I used to be, until I learnt to laugh at myself.

 

[superfluouslyme]

I used to be, until I learnt to laugh at myself.

Yeah, that has helped me a lot. I even go so far as to make fun of my own mistakes before someone else does so I don't feel so stupid. I'm pretty sure that's a common defense mechanism, though.

 

[Feathers]

Hmm... I'm told I have a sense of humor, but sometimes I just can't seem to find it in my pocket...

It can get confusing for other people too (even my horoscope says so!) one minute I can be laughing and all brave, next minute I can be insulted.. and over something silly or unimportant too... and may mope for a month or so, yikes.. instead of doing constructive changes.. it's like I get angry and can't seem to get into productive mode, motivation/inspiration disappears..

I really want to work on this AvPD and sa/anxiety.. It's like some people have shields, and some have no defense, or no shields.. and I have like shields in places, and not elsewhere.. so it's like 'holes' inbetween shields.. sometimes people can say silly things and I won't get insulted at all and will go 'haha yeah' and other times something that seems more minor can make me sulk.. I'd really like to get rid of this, not sure if it's possible, and to what extent...

 

[RN3]

Now that I have recognized how easily I get offended I try to work on it. When someone makes a comment to me and I start to feel offended (which is very often) I try to tell myself don't take it personal. For some reason it's just can't let things roll of my shoulders.

 

[BleedTheFreak]

Yeah, I have a problem with taking everything too seriously/personally. I don't have a problem being corrected when I'm wrong, even though I feel absolutely embarassed, but whenever someone insults me (playfully or not) I end up over-analyzing their statement and obsessively trying to fix whatever they were talking about. Then (at least for awhile) every time I see or think about this person, their insult is the only thing on my mind. Sometimes months later I'll still remember some petty thing someone said to me and want to confront them about it, even though they'd probably have long-forgotten what they said.

I remember things from years ago that my own family members have said about me that I still think about, so I definitely have a hard time letting things go. I do have a self-depricating attitude though, but when someone else does it I get really...bothered. :/

 

[uncle]

One of my biggest social problems is that I am a "People pleaser". I want everybody to like me. So I go try to be nice and treat people the way I would like to be treated. But as soon as I feel that someone is trying to act like there better than me or dismiss me I get angry. It usually goes no further than that.

 

[EscapeArtist]

Well, I don't know about the general SA population, but I do know that I am VERY easily offended by everybody, except those whose opinions don't mean anything to me. Mainly offended by the mood of the person, negative facial expressions... Even neutral facial expressions offend me if I sense that behind them there is negativity. I'm better at handling straight-forward offending words than something like shouting or a negative tone/expression directed at me

 

[UnOccupied]

I too used to be like this. As my fear, anxiety, and depression have been getting less and less severe, this has decreased. A big part of this is usually not addressing the real problems in your life. Try to be more open and address problems as they come, and you will notice the small stuff won't bother you as much.

Also, try to tell yourself something like, "Life's too short to care what others think." Thats what i use, but i'd recommend changing it around a little to suit yourself better. That little quote has a lot of power and feeling for me.

 

[RN3]

I too used to be like this. As my fear, anxiety, and depression have been getting less and less severe, this has decreased. A big part of this is usually not addressing the real problems in your life. Try to be more open and address problems as they come, and you will notice the small stuff won't bother you as much.

Also, try to tell yourself something like, "Life's too short to care what others think." Thats what i use, but i'd recommend changing it around a little to suit yourself better. That little quote has a lot of power and feeling for me.

Nice reply. So are you saying that if I recognized the real problems in my life and confront them that maybe I won't be so easily offended and that I'll stop taking things so personally.