I get what you mean, because I do something similar. I have one super close friend and I let her do the talking, because I'm too shy to speak up for fear of being disliked. I care deeply about how others perceive me, so it weighs constantly on my mind and makes me wonder if people actually like me, or worry that if I talk to them they might not like me because I don't appear open and bubbly. I lack the confidence to do anything about it so I just keep letting my friend talk over me which gives off an aura of me being quiet and boring. I can be friendly, but I'm not the type to just spark up a conversation with anyone, I've never been able to. Those who know me very well (which are very few people, but I have some close friends who do) know that I can be funny, friendly and eccentric, but I can also be sensible and serious and my friends often come to me for advice and such. But none of this shows when I meet people. I just come across as being cold and have been told so by lots of people. Heck, when I first met some of my closer friends, they said I came across as devoid of emotion and serious and it made them dislike me at first.
My shyness is like a wall and it needs someone special to want to break it down when it comes to me, because I can try and break it down from my side, but I usually fail. I guess the only good thing that comes from it is that, when someone does get past it, I know they're a good friend and in for the long haul, because it's not easy for me to take my barriers down and I wish at times that I could tell people why I am the way that I am, what happened and how I ended up being a weird shadow of myself that's hidden beneath layers of coldness and being serious, but I just think it'd make people think I'm so pathetic that they might talk to me out of sympathy, and I don't want that.
I find with new people, they will never spark up a conversation with me; it's always with my friend, even if the two of us are talking quietly, they ALWAYS approach her first and I sort of fade into the background. I'll try and give some input into the conversation, but then my mind starts telling me things like 'Just shut up, let them talk, you're too boring.' or 'I can't talk to them because I'll stutter and they'll laugh. They probably don't like me anyway.' and then I become painfully aware that I do stutter a little and jumble words when talking, so I get nervous and completely clam up.
Sometimes I find that when people tell others 'Oh, she's shy', 'She's nervous', 'She's just quiet' it can actually make me worse. Like my friend, she tries to tell people out of being nice and to help them understand my silence, but people immediately see it differently and then ignore me completely. It also reinforces that I AM shy and I AM nervous, which I then start repeating in my mind and hey presto, I clam up once more.
I do feel that my SA does hinder me in making friends and talking to people. It's on my mind all the time and I'm constantly telling myself it's my fault and that it's safer to stay quiet because I'll just embarrass myself. Without meaning to sound egotistical, I know that I could offer a person a lot if they were my friend. I can be friendly and funny, I can be a fun person to hang out with, but it never shows because I stick myself behind this wall and never speak up because I'm too shy or nervous and I keep telling myself that the wall and barriers iv'e put up are safe, and I should keep them, even though I'm telling myself no all the while.
Annnd this probably makes no sense. D:
I do wonder about the facial thing though, because I apparently give of a 'dislike vibe' according to one person I know. When she met me, she just immediately disliked me and said it was something about my face. I've had others say the same. I do tend to look very serious, but people just say I have a quality to my face which makes me dislikeable.