Introverts in Large Offices?

[Satine]

I'll start by saying that I don't have social phobia but I am an introvert and have only recently realised what I am, how I contrast with extroverts and that it's okay for me to be an introvert.

I worked with my family for five years. They're dysfunctional: my mum is poised somewhere between narcissistic and antisocial personality disorder (as far as I can tell. But even if she technically isn't, those two disorders are a very helpful field guide for understanding what she's like) and my dad is a passive-aggressive (ditto). I have been working for years on making myself less damaged as a result of being brought up by them and have come a long way, but I'm still not 'normal' yet.

And then I was made redundant, and I learned how not-there-yet I am.

I took a job in an insurance office with dozens of other staff. The company as a whole had/has a very strong extrovert flavour and I am an introvert. I didn't spot this at first but by the time I did, I'd already settled in there. And perhaps other introverts here can understand when I say I don't interview well and didn't feel able to just drop the job and go elsewhere.

I spent 18 months in that place and it was one of the loneliest times of my life. I cried a lot, considered suicide on a daily basis, and kept strong tabs on how the family business was going on the off-chance it'd get healthy enough for me to go back.

Finally I managed to come back and have been here for a year. But given that my family is so messed up, I want to heal myself to the extent that I can be in a group like the insurance company. I might well not eventually choose to work somewhere like that - I dislike being a corporate slave - but to know I could get by in a place like that as a social group would be such a salve to me.

Even a year on the memory of the loneliness I felt there haunts me. More than I wish it did.

Just a couple of days ago I sent an email to the recruitment agency that placed me there, asking them whether, if I had to go to them again and openly admitted I was an introvert, whether they'd turn me away or refuse to place me anywhere. I've not had a response yet.

My family have never really given me space to be who I am - I don't fit in outside of my family unit or in it, really. I worry that the recruitment peoples' response will be that I'm an idiot for even bringing it up and perhaps that I am embarrassing them too.

Has anyone else had similar experiences?

 

[Section_31]

I have a similiar experience.

My very introverted. But im the sole IT dept contact for this particular building of the company i work for, and im always on a support phone.

Mind you, i dont per se deal with too many people in person, but there is the odd occasion where i have to. And almost everyone here are very extroverted.

Ive always been very good at compartmentalizing. I put on a different persona when im here, that persona is extroverted and talkitave. But its not the "real" me. That person doesnt come out untill im home and safe.

Its not the best method but its helped me cope and function.

 

[mikebird]

It's been my entire 100% downfall I wasn't ready for.

From schoolboy in shorts, shirt 'n' tie and jumper

then later school with trousers, and more maturity until finishing

Then student life was best

Nobody told me that office life would be straight all the way down, back to the playground. In the UK, it's how to expect behaviour on a TV show, and it's excited audience at a game show, or at a stadium. Whoooops, joy, shouting and screaming, jumping around and roaring!

Life's stages upside-down; back to roots

Never got expelled from school.
Now I don't fit in at any workplace. Still desks. Still food fights and noise


""WHAT CAN YOU BRING TO OUR COMPANY?""
Mmmm... tubes of araldite to squeeze into everyone's nasal cavities or eyes
If the reaction is passive, then I'll get the submachine gun from under my desk

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

I couldn't help but to laugh about your family situation. I'm only now figuring how being brought up in my household contributed to me being the freak that I am. My family doesn't own a business, I can't even imagine how F' up and dysfunctional that would have been!

Insurance company environments have a lot of caffeine induced extroverts. I hate sales intensive company cultures. You do have your support staff where introverts can find their place but I would avoid companies like that.

Do you have any other interests or skills where you could work in a quieter company? Maybe something out of the business arena?

 

[Richey]

I have a similiar experience.

My very introverted. But im the sole IT dept contact for this particular building of the company i work for, and im always on a support phone.

Mind you, i dont per se deal with too many people in person, but there is the odd occasion where i have to. And almost everyone here are very extroverted.

Ive always been very good at compartmentalizing. I put on a different persona when im here, that persona is extroverted and talkitave. But its not the "real" me. That person doesnt come out untill im home and safe.

Its not the best method but its helped me cope and function.

i kind of understand but i dont understand how people can fake having a good extroverted persona, especially in a work situation where the stress is "huge" and with sensory overload, i've never really understood that. I guess that shows the diversity of people though. I know what you mean about the phones though. I was actually ok on the phones. The issue with open offices though is that it's very sterile, its often very fake, you see people with their business/sales hats on, if you're too nice everyone will come to you for help, which isn't a bad thing at all, i just found it odd and difficult to digest, personally. there is lots of game playing and gossip as well. it wasn't a match for me even though i enjoyed a chunk of the job.

I remember having to walk outside all the time because the work load was crazy. i'd walk out and throw up or i'd get crazy stomach cramps and i'd have to fall to the ground and hide behind the office building until the pain had gone so i could stand up again. (overly sensitive?? sometimes yeah).

now i understand why people chain smoke, it makes perfect sense to me now, completely.

however there are awlays nice people but i find open offices difficult to concentrate in, especially workstations. essentially it means that i probably have to change careers unless i can fix the panic attack issues. As in, I read urgent emails and i just freak out. Especially when you're already under pressure to meet deadlines.

i've dipped my hand into trades as well, for outside work. there are some great companies to work for but the chances are 50/50 for having a really nice boss or a red-necked style boss. y'know ...this doesn't suit me. so that's a luck thing.

the whole career thing does my head in but some people find it effortless. egos and extroverts seem to find it all effortless,at least that's what they project.

 

[SilentAndShy]

SA wrecked one of my graduate jobs that I was so chuffed to get. It was in a big office environment where the extroverted, assertive personalities existed. My SA just got worse, feeling so uncomfortable that I left before I was pushed. It was the first time I worked in an open office environment and I struggled to settle in and get comfortable. If I had another stab at it; I think I'd know where I went wrong and make a more concerted effort to avoid previous mistakes, i.e. greet everyone on the first day and little things like saying Good Morning etc. I did try the latter but ended up mumbling it when no-one could hear me whilst others walked in saying it so loud that others would respond immediately. Also another thing that rocked me was a team meeting and the manager looked at me and asked what was going on in my department; I was only a PR Assistant but I absolutely froze. I didn't have a clue and my senior colleague intervened.

My recent job in a call centre ended because the job got so frustrating, more so that I was struggling that I hacked it in. Back to square one.

 

[laure15]

I used to work in an office filled with mainly extroverted people. They talkEd a lot and hung out with each other outside of work. I didn't know how to behave around them. Sometimes I would try to be loud and talkative like they are, other times I would remain quiet and mind my own business. Several times, I screwed up social interactions with others, which must have added to their negative perceptions of me. I didn't fit in and eventually, I was fired.

 

[mikebird]

Sales

for those born a chimpanzee

make noises :sarcastic:
the skills of lying and smiling
possibly heavy personal expenditure on Dental and Dermatology treatment

I wish martial arts was my market

definitely not marital arts

 

[Subpop]

Open plan offices are a pain in the ass.